Mission: is POSSIBLE...and so is LIFE

The Unspoken...

2012-01-11T21:00:00.000-08:00

I haven't written about this because... well I didn't know how to process it. Sometimes, when something BIG happens to me, all I need to do is just --- blaaarghgajlsfjasklfjaskfja --- or basically, dribble about whatever and to whomever and I sort it out better and feel good. Sometimes, that seems so insignificant. But reading about this happening to Reagan - a blog I stalk juuuuust a smidge - brought it all back... and I think I'm ready

It was just seems like one month ago yesterday that my secure, happy-go-lucky, free life drastically changed... I still remember walking up to the front door, and being aware that the big rubbish bin was propped up against the gate. I innocently thought "Perhaps there's a parcel" and the Postie was being clever... and after I dumped my stuff inside I would come back out and check.

Now, walking into our house you are greeted with stairs that go up on your right, and a room that bends round to your left, and you don't see much of the rest of the living area till you walk futher in. At first I saw a bag emptied on ground and thought rational things, like... "Why would my housemate accidentally empty a bag of stuff onto the ground and leave it? She must've been in a real hurry... perhaps the wind blew it over - but the window isn't open..."

It really was only when I turned the corner and saw the shattered glass that reached the front of the house from the smashed back door, and I saw that every drawer downstairs was opened and emptied onto the floor - even the pantry door was wide open - that I felt that bottomless pit of sickly feeling open up in my stomach... my housemate and I weren't the only ones who were in our house this day.

The shock of seeing it and knowing what you are looking at but not believing it is unreal. I really had to hold myself back from touching things knowing that the police would probably have to pay our house a visit. And its really strange what you look for first... and its strange what you see and believe that its normally there. And this was just downstairs...

I had to muster up alot of courage just to even call out upstairs - fearing that the new 'house guests' were still inside. But I grabbed --- something --- [a shoe I think?]--- and made my way up. I felt sick but my adrenaline rush was insanely strong and I'm sure even if someone was there, I would've shown them a thing or two with that shoe that a shoe probably couldn't normally do. Or I felt like I could. The first room I come to at the top of the stairs is my housemate's master bedroom. She'd had her room totally trashed, all her stuff was everywhere, all her containers where thrown around the room and all her precious jewellery was gone [which I only discovered after she got home later in the evening]...

My room looked relatively normal - in that the person going through my room seemed less aggressive and a bit more thoughtful - like they were looking for something specific. Infact, had I not just cleaned my room a few days before, I would've struggled to even recognise things were even out of place. They just seemed to empty a few things onto my bed and took a few pieces of jewellery. They also took my Mac and its charger... but thankfully left my external hard-drive - which had my backups on it from my Mac - but what was a huge blessing was it also had all of my school assignments on it too...

I was never the girl who got freaked by any noises or got spooked by anything. Having spent many moments being 'surprised' by my Dad and brother, I grew up tough. I was the girl who was strutted around thinking no-one would harm anyone who lived with me - like I was some beefy jillaroo or WWF pro wrestler. Got a spider? I'll fix it. Got a funny noise outside? I'll inspect it. Got a weirdo who keeps stalking you professing his love? I'll get rid of it [him].

I have just survived three weeks on my own, as my housemate was staying at a friends place after she broke her leg and couldn't master the stairs too easily. I had many moments of being spooked while in bed and I would set about checking the house 2 or 3 times a night just to make sure I was really home alone in the house and all the doors and windows locked. If i couldn't handle it, I would turn my fan on and hope that if I was broken into while I was asleep, that they would be quick and leave me alone. There were a few nights when it felt like hours before I found some comfort in sleep... waking up the next day feeling sleep-drunk and exhausted but with no real other place to go to get away from the lack of sleep, I just simply had to be brave and take each day as it came. I got to the point of needing to drink some form of alcohol on a nightly basis just to help me sleep.

The absolute worst thing for me, is - they know what I look like. Sure, stuff is gone, and thanks be to God that no one was home or hurt. But they know what I look like...

Thankfully, my housemate is home now, and I think I've finally had the best nights sleep knowing someone else is here. It makes me mad I feel so vulnerable in my own home, and that I despise coming home to this place now that its been broken into. But I persevere through each day trusting that God has my back and I don't have to fear because He will protect me.

NB: I just discovered its 2 months today that the big break in happened. It really feels like it was just yesterday...

Pointy Finger Index

2011-12-26T06:24:00.000-08:00

Typing isn't very easy when you have a well-bandaged finger in the air... so I'll keep this to some dot points and pictures [sorry for the repeat, Al]... [pictures might be a bit much for some folks to handle]

- Sat morning -

- 730-1600 shift -

Shower Resident 1.

Encourage Resident 2 to shower before breakfast.

A2 Residents in Dining Room for Breakfast.

Prepare Resident 3's coffee.

[[NOTE-the whole time I've worked at this facility, we've done the same routine: heat any main meals in the microwave before serving & heat drinks made with boiled water in the microwave. Resident 3 doesn't eat and drink them hugely fast, but I think the idea is she enjoys consuming the whole contents at a relatively warm tempetature.]]

Look in door-window of microwave - coffee is not boiling, foaming, frothing or looking overly agiatated.

Microwave beeps.

Take cup of extra-hot coffee out of microwave and place spoon in cup.

Eruption of contents over hand/s... owie owie ow...

Immediately put hands under cool water...

10minutes later EN [enrolled nurse], who was present at the time of accident, assesses hands, notes the affected areas, [thumb, pointer & middle finger from RIGHT hand worst affected, ring and pinky finger from LEFT], gets flaximide [? - burns cream] and covers both hands in cream.

Tells me to let it absorb for a while.

Wait with creamed hands looking at the work left to do in the kitchenette [I was early at this point].

Decide to put gloves on and using cold water finish dishes and kitchen cleaning.

This feels pretty good -- being in the cold water.

Go to Resident 3 who is now ready for a shower.

Showering with warm water = ~~pain~~ agony!!

Attempt to be as quick as possible.

Fail - resident chooses to rethink each item of clothing - of course.

Hands feeling not good.

Have a couple of sneaky peaks at right fingers, they look ok and still well creamed.

Finish Resident 3.

Right hand feeling less comfortable.

Take gloves off - right pointer has a small blister.

Decide to show the EN [about 40 minutes after accident].

EN calls the Boss, decide I should visit the doctors.

EN wraps pointer finger and re-creams other fingers.

Drive off with big bandaged finger in the air.

Doctor notes well done bandage by EN and approves of cream and bandages used.

Says he does not need to see under bandages.

Gives me a list of things to get from Chemist and says for me to come back Wednesday.

Do errands, go home and have lunch.

Fingers don't feel bad.

Pointer finger doesn't feel like anything,

Mid Afternoon - Saturday.

Notice my bandage keeps slipping off.

Decide a bit of air might help before re-creaming fingers.

Upon removal of bandage, this is the sight that I'm greeted by:

That's so attractive.

Continue to apply cream, paraffin strips, gauze and wrap in a dressing.

Saturday night my finger looks a bit more like this:

That is even more attractive.

Dubbed "Pregnant Finger", the blister is entering the end of the first trimester.

Must be a girl blister...

Weight [blister width] on the sides and long [creeping towards knuckles].

Photo's get quite the uproar of "POP IT!!!" from Facebook by my friends and their "qualified medical advice" - haha.

Pointer finger still doesn't feel like anything really.

Re-cream and strap all burnt fingers and head to bed.

- Sunday -

Was surprised blister survived the night.

Merry Christmas fabulousness-es...

All burnt finger bandages survive minus pinky finger bandage.

Felt this was a good achievement.

Attempt a shower - relatively successful.

Late afternoon, Pregnant Pointer looks like this:

Dead sexy.

As you can see - blister continues to grow.

Let it air, re-cream and strap and head out.

Slight ache in 2nd proximal knuckle...

[if counting from the tip, its the 2nd knuckle down].

Pop a couple of pain killers and head to bed.

- Monday -

Pregnant Pointer survives night #2 - amazed.

Keep finger unwrapped for morning.

Still growing.

Not hot to touch or any particular painful areas.

Took Pregnant Pointer to the cinema to see Tintin.

We both enjoyed it.

Finger starts to ache more when out for tea at classy McDonalds.

Check finger's progress:

You're major impressed right?

Me too...

I think we've reached full term.

And I think I might see if my doctor can see me tomorrow instead of Wednesday.

I don't really want to have to wait till I can say "I think Pointer's waters have broken!"...

Prayer would not go astray, my friends...

Chordae Tendineae... Heart Strings

2011-12-09T22:32:00.000-08:00

I am constantly finding things that make my heart jump into my throat - like my is saying "Here's a little sneak peak of where you want to be" -- like God has put them in my path...

The two bigger things so far involve a book and a television show...

I have been reading this book for a while now, which is weird because when I'm totally involved and in-love with a book I usually don't put them down - but as I continue to read through this awesome book, I get such a bigger longing to be a trained midwife and to serve the Lord somewhere, Australia or overseas. It also makes me impatient to be already studying midwifery, and so perhaps dragging out reading this book is helping to delay that urgency... because in reality, I'm within a year of becoming a nurse. Shazzam!!!

The and the TV series featured on SBS called "Toughest Place to be a...", and Episode three focuses on a Midwife and her journey from working in well provided, relaxed and comfortable UK to stretched resources, overfilled and stressed Liberia. Oh my... *tear*

And thats just a little blurt about a part of my day to --- whomever reads this

Inspiration... Expiration...

2011-11-06T03:25:00.000-08:00

This week was the first week that I felt I grasped the concept of a body system. Any body system. It was possibly most likely due to the new teacher we had. As of this second term at school, we've had one teacher no longer continue with us [perhaps she was only with us for the infection sections!?], and picked up two more - one who I absolutely LOVE!

The way she teaches... it grasps you into the world of the system or thing she is talking about. She constantly asks you questions throughout each session, and is aware if you are fading out from her talking then she needs to get us to get up, move around, or do a quiz. She knows that if you don't have your mind stimulated, you wont pay attention, and if you aren't you wont learn. She also knows the importance of plenty of breaks. But the best thing is... the best... thing... is that she wants you to have a go. Say the wrong answer, or say the right... the point is that you try each time you are asked... and then progressively learn the things you don't know after that. I loved it!

Thursday I left school pumped --- stoked --- excited --- FULL of excitement!!! I made myself diagrams and labels and quizzed myself - particularly on the things I wasn't 100% sure of. Still have things I'm not 100% sure of, but I feel confident I know the digestive system pretty well.

Friday... was boring. SO was not inspired. I cannot stand people who just read a slideshow as it is. I could do that at home. I'm in the class to be challenged and stimulated and inspired to want to know more, to ask questions. Nada. I know the other teachers appreciate our Friday teacher, but his teaching technique does not make me want to keep my eyes open!!

*Sigh*

Perhaps I could stage a protest... placards and all...

Tough'n up, Princess...

2011-10-30T03:44:00.000-07:00

Works a bit tough

[changes, changes, so many changes... and 3 deaths this year... hopefully that's it]

Schools a bit tough

[pretty full on right now with anatomy and physics but way interesting]

Families a bit tough

[love them to bits, of course]

That's all. I'm just having a little selfish moment here...

Enjoy a couple of my favourite pic's I've taken

"flash photography" - Keppel Bay Marina, Singapore

Tally = Two

2011-10-04T06:05:00.000-07:00

The talk around work now is constantly "Who's next!!?!?"- next... to die.

*insert doomy boomy backgroundy music here*

This might seem horribly morbid, but in reality this is a dealing mechanism for us at work. By 'predicting' who is 'next', we can get our head around the fact that people die, deal with it, and go about our daily job. Or something. Plus when you work with the elderly, this is a large fact of life that occurs alot more frequently. ALOT.

Today, Number Two passed away. When Number One passed away about a month or so ago, I felt totally lost. I felt really sad, because there were many aspects of Number One that I adored, plus she has the cutest personality, even though no one could understand what she was saying. However, Number One was a handful, and so much of our routine was based around her. Infact, I would say in this particular area, one third of the routine was based around her. So, you can imagine how lost it was to then work without her there. Five minutes spare time? What is that...

Today, I got to work and heard that Number Two had been sent to hospital last night. I saw Number Two on Saturday, and she wasn't great, but we thought it might be just a bit of a phase. She was quiet. Mostly. Now that was unusual. She wasn't holding her frame - just a "floppy rag doll". Slightly unusual. She wasn't hungry and refused to eat or drink. Very unusual. Number Two lived on bacon and eggs, porridge, warm milk, and warm apple juice.

They told us she passed away comfortably, however it was due to heart failure and fluid around her heart and lungs that caused her to be hospitalised and evidently caused her to pass away. Number Two also had about one third of the routine in this particular area based around her. Two-thirds of every shift in that area has now changed. Thats a huge change. That's a change thats going to have hours cut from the roster because we don't have 2 high-care residents anymore.

Work was eerily quiet today. Residents were quite relaxed, but I think because they didn't know what has happened, and i'm not sure when or if they were told, they were oblivious and were just enjoying the peace and quiet. I believe the motto from upper management is not to tell them until they ask.

Tomorrow, I am probably working in that area with the two-thirds of the work routine gone. I'll kick myself if I subconsciously make bacon and eggs for Number Two - who, clearly, wont be eating it...

The Cat Empire sang about it

2011-08-30T01:15:00.000-07:00

This is a cartoon i drew of one of my teachers. She wasn't actually asleep - but I felt like I was close enough!

"Protons, Neutrons, Electrons" - quite the quirky, funky song as all good songs are from the Cat Empire. So you're there, you haven't heard of it and want to geek yourself up a little bit? Check it out now.

Anyway, the point of that is to mention what I'm up-to studying now. Protons. Neutrons. Electrons. Because Chemistry is involved in nursing. Its in everything we do and can see. Oh, and we're also learning about the Legal side of nursing. Sooo - there is currently alot of reading, writing, listening, thinking and lack-of-interest in places/sections at the moment... atleast when I find it gets too much, I go and look up some weird word and learn what it is.

I'm finding it a struggle to study at home - too many easy distractions or easy annoyances. Yet, when I take myself out to a cafe, despite the noise level, it seems remarkably easier. Except this afternoon that is. While trying to drill my brain with chemistry information, I'm more interested in hearing the conversations around me; the girls planning the new interior design of the store, what colours and where everything should/could/would go; the two older ladies discussing their woe's of ageing bodies and family; the two Christian guys discussing church, studies and expectations of people [I might have tried to find out which church they belonged to via their conversation - or I perhaps I didn't].

Today I also spent an hour with one of the ladies from my church, who after a health problem a fortnight ago, is now residing in the hospital awaiting transfer to a long-term facility. When I arrived, she was quite agitated and eager to get out of her seat and away from the hospital. Throughout the time I spent there, we had to locate her glasses [tucked well into her dressing gown] as some mail arrived from her son in Tassie. I read the documents to her, and at the end she looked at me with the strangest perplexed expresssion. I think she didn't understand who was writing to her for a little while, but in the end she did. I read her some of Philippians 3 to encourage her - however when I was finished I wasn't sure if she was sleeping or praying. In the end, she seemed alot more content and less agitated and was enjoying a good perusal of a gardening magazine.

Today I also [randomly] decided to review on some "Bloody Idiot" tv ads. These are the "if you drink and drive, you are a bloody idiot" ones. One of my friends sent me the youtube link to TAC - the Victorian's plan to lower the road toll deaths around the country. Some of these ad's I've seen before, and others I've seen for the first time. Most of them are horribly impacting, challenging and extremely unnerving - especially when you can consider countless times when you could've been in the same position as a driver, passenger or onlooker. However, they were very effective on causing me to be even more aware of my surroundings when driving.... especially as I already think I am pretty aware of everything... but accidents definately do happen [as I've proved twice already].

Hmm...ski

2011-08-26T23:04:00.000-07:00

Happy One Month Anniversary, Nursing Class 1103!!

Four weeks of 5 days [of both work and study in a row], and I'm pooped.

Exhausted.

Knackered.

Whatever you want to call it - that's what I am.

But, heck its great fun and I'm so loving nursing school!

However, working in this environment where we see the end of peoples lives is a hard ball sometimes.

Just this past week, one of my favourite residents [I know, we shouldn't have favourites] passed away.

It wasn't sudden, mostly expected, but totally sad.

Even maddening, but that's mostly in relation to a family member's treatment of this resident...

Before and AFTER they passed away.

The world we live in is a scary, evil, confused and corrupt place.

Thank God for all the love, joy and peace He still provides amongst all that.

And laughter. OH MY GOSH! I love a great sense of humour.

Peace... x

:: Leaf Me Be

2011-08-19T01:07:00.000-07:00

End of my third week at Nursing School. I'm tired! I've got SO much to read! I think most of us only realised today just how much extra work we have to proactively set about to do ourselves. We have so many classes on different topics with different teachers, being given different assignments to focus on, and today was the first time one of the teachers said [first time that I was aware of] that we need to read "x" chapters of our main text book PLUS the extra, non-compulsary workbooks they put online for us - JUST to keep our minds fluid with the phrases, abbreviations, and context of what we are doing. That's onTOP of doing our assigned homework!!

This could be a painful 12months ahead, but despite all the work, these are very exciting days...

Enjoy

2011-08-18T07:00:00.000-07:00

Today, I was not interested in listening to the Teacher at school.

Don't get me wrong, I bet she did good...

Its just that I can't seem to enjoy listening to a talk about the

Government, Politics, and the Law in a mono-tone voice.
Major-brain-pain.

So, to keep my brain entertained while I [tried] to listen,
I sketched... a pair of these...

PS -

Sorry for the triple-post-sesh. Just seeing what the new look looks like.

I think I am liking it.

Thoughts?!

And - thoughts on more regular pictures?

:: Eye/see... ::

2011-08-18T06:50:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I am positive we have a picture frame follow us around with

speech bubbles anticipating our next moves...

This was in my diary last year. I painted it, randomly.

Then when it was dry, I drew on it with a felt tip pen... randomly.

:: just be...

2011-08-18T03:51:00.000-07:00

I am having a real desire to just be... as is, full stop, hold that colour palatte. I've been thinking about changing my blog to a pure, white canvas, but haven't felt committed to it till last weekend. Then I noticed a friend of mine, who is a drawer, animator and graphic designer who's blog has totally inspired me to get back into my drawings, has a white blog page. It looks good.

So now I'm looking for a good, white blog template. Perhaps you are already looking at it. Perhaps, you aren't... but here's a thought for today after I just spent a couple of hours writing notes about Mumps, Meningitis, and Meningoencephelitis. It was pretty interesting, in my opinion.

Channelling the Nurse Within

2011-08-09T04:47:00.000-07:00

Last Thursday, I began the journey to move towards the next step to become a bigger part of the Health Care Industry. So far, its been a breeze, as orientation days can be. I've got most of the names of my new class friends down pat, and I think I've successfully established my quirky-friendly-"ice breaking"-uniqueness within the group.

Mostly its been listening, discussing, reading while listening, signing, agreeing and reading. And having enough breaks to consume mass quantities of coffee - in my dreams - because they stock the worst of the worst.... INTERNATIONAL ROAST!!! OH MY GOD! That is not coffee... looks like I need to bring some of my coffee expertise to school!!

I have some really quirky new buds... the few I've had the most time with include a quiet chick who sings in a metal band, a Bieber-fantatic zany quirky girl, a know-it-all opinionated but still fun dad of one, a overly-zealously-random Plebotomist [takes blood]... among those I've still got time to get to know!

Around study and school, I've still got work. Its really hard to remember I'm not a nurse YET, but I am heading there.

Today, however, I wish I had all the possible training. One of the residents literally went from consciously there, to suddenly unable to walk, to unconscious way too quickly. She was out for about 10 minutes, and for about 8 minutes my heart was racing SOOO hard. She's one of my favourites, and shes one that doesn't really speak but has alot of animation in her face. The idea that something possibly was seriously wrong and there was nothing that I could legally do to help other than assist the nurse and RN.

Thankfully, I had another carer with me at the time that our resident went down hill. Thankfully, there were two people outside of the residents room with phones that I could borrow - because 2 of the 3 carers on shift don't carry phones, and both of us happen to be in the situation today. Thankfully, I remembered my training to only speak the necessary urgency on the phone, and not to 'diagnose' the situation. Thankfully the nurses allowed me to ask questions afterwards, and thankfully they were both happy with how us carers handled the situation. Mostly, I'm thankful the other residents didn't get mad when lunch was late.

For a moment I was scared that I won't be good in urgent situations. But when I thought about it, I was mostly scared because I didn't know what I could do - but that is fine because - I'm not at that stage yet. I'm not trained in those areas yet. I've not had the time to build the experience to get the confidence yet.

So for now, i'm just channelling the nurse within...

Confessions of a "XX-chromosome" {girl}

2011-07-26T17:48:00.001-07:00

I think I just had the shortest shift at work thus far. Here's how the day panned out:

Alarm goes at 7:45am, but I'm already up. Great sleep!
Decided outfit, got dressed.
Had a tasty breakfast - mmm so tasty.
Have time spare, research AusPost so I can pick up my parcel - not open till I'm at work. Dang.
Faff.
Head to work. Arrive 0858.
See friend pull up at the same time. Debate about going round the front, but last time it was locked. Choose side entrance.
Thought to wait for friend [who has key], but think she might take too long.
Ring door bell - [note this is the disastrous move...]
Door answered by RN. Served a pretty big slamming about ringing the door bell when the front door was open. Noted.
Thought I was okay.
Nope, not okay. Need space. Decide where to go to clear my head and avoid people for a bit.
EN comes and talks to me and asks if I'm okay. Oh poo, a fountain is pouring down my face.
Why the heck am I crying? It can't be because I got a big telling off. EN looks teary... odd.
Figure I've got a few things on my mind, and the telling off just triggered a reaction.
Calm myself down.
Maintenance dude see's me hiding outside, that i've been crying, and this makes him cry. Naw...
Maintenance dude makes me laugh, I can handle the day.
Plan to wash my face before facing the resi's.
RN comes and talks to me after talking to the EN.
More bloody crying. What the heck!? I'm not even being poked and asked "Are you gonna cry"...
Calmed down, made a plan with RN. I can handle the day again...
Wash my face in the bathroom. Take a moment. I'm good.
Walk out of bathroom. CEO sees me and says hi.
I try and fob a "Oh you've caught me going somewhere - here's a side wave".
CEO asks how I am. I can't not face her now...
I said "I'm fine, its all good, I'll be okay... I'll talk to you later"
CEO says its not fair to the residents to see me looking like I do. Thanks, now you made me feel crap.
More bloody crying. CEO wants to know whats going on.
CEO tells me to come in to her office and talk.
I have no idea anymore.
CEO sends me home.
Arrived home 0947.

Pretty sure I'm not paid for that 40 minutes of sitting around at work crying. CRYING!? I hate being a chick sometimes, seriously, especially because I get a mega ugly face when I do that awkward cry. I have no idea whats going on. Is it possible that today I'm just really on edge and I was caught off guard this morning?? I had plenty of sleep. I had breakfast even. What - the - freak...

I think today can be known as D-day = Disaster day. Today I need mega big strength, Lord! I don't think I'm up for much... but it will be nice to be able to lounge in my PJ's...

:: stuck in a moment ::

2011-07-24T00:38:00.000-07:00

U2 song if you didn't know... and now, I'd like to start off with something a little different: Blergh!!!

I'm feeling stuck in a limbo place, like I am lost in a labyrinth - I know where I am meant to be, but there are a few decisions of some of the turns that I take which lead me in a variety of directions, causing me to feel, well ha, lost.

I think its because there are loads of changes taking place. My friends are all heading in new directions, because they are having families, or new career paths, living in new places, making new friends, going to new churches, or just having new adjustments in life. For a few of those friends I know we'll pull through because we will always put that effort in, but for some of the others I'm afraid the change will actually make some great huge gap in the friendship. Not saying that its bad for people to change or for life to change - nay, infact I welcome it! Its just that I have to get used to it... re-adjust to the new-ness of it all... and I have to be ready to let other people have their own changes happen.

Of course, I can't sit here drinking my Latte writing all of that and make it sound like I'm being left behind. That's not what I'm trying to get across. I'm just trying to get out of my head the thoughts that are storming through at this moment, and you get to read them in some riddly way. Its okay! I know I'm also heading in a new direction.

In many ways I think this faffy, limbo-feeling is more to reflect that its a bit scary - all this change. Its scary to feel unsure about things you thought you were sure about. Its also a time to recognise we have to let God's path for each of us run ahead, individually, as a group, as a family. We can't stall our destination, only the journey getting there.

Acknowledgement of the nitty gritty things is my first step to changing my attitude towards them... so, bear with me as I acknowledge them... pretty please?! :)

I get jealous of other friendships. Terrible thing to admit, but I do. I try SO hard not to get jealous, because i know its not productive, and it causes one to assume things that are - usually - false. I know it stems from my 'awkward' years [age 9-16] where most friendships were purely for some platonic end result like getting homework projects done or help with art stuff, and then when there was achievement, friendship would be over and I'd be outcast again. Stupidly, I would believe them every time that their friendship was true. Burnies burnies ouchie-wah burnies. When in my final year of school, I developed a 'no-care' philosophy that resulted in rebellion, a stand against bullies, an adoption of the awkward kids and a personality boost. But it still creeps in every now and then. Phew! I'm glad I said that out loud [on my blog].

I get really hurt when a new friendship doesn't turn out the way I want/wish it to. I know, I really know, that you can't be friends with everyone... but that doesn't stop me from trying. Infact, I sometimes try so hard it makes me sick, or really really emotionally and mentally drained. I'm quickly learning that sometimes, on the rare occasion, there are just the 'church' friends, or the 'I would like a project done, lets communicate' friends. I am also learning that not everyone is as efficient at communicating as I am... and that's okay, and it doesn't always mean you can't be friends. All of that just shows that the friends I've had for a long time are just fabulous for loving me for soooooo long... because clearly I can be a bit demanding. Awesome, but demanding!

A positive random to note: I'll probably be WAY too busy with school, work and my church activities for the next 14months that I'll have no time to think about boys or singleness, and will likely be having the best sleeps since Dry Dock in Singapore! I told you that it was random!

Well, thats enough ranting for now... I feel lighter, I hope you don't feel burdened!!

My inspiration for the week comes from the moving "Flashdance", a movie I seriously love. I've watched it twice this past week. Alex, the lead character, works 2 jobs, rides her bike everywhere - even in heels and a LBD - and dances up a sweaty storm in all the other free time that she has. Crazy. If you haven't seen the movie, and don't love cheesy dance movies, don't watch it. But if you do love cheesy dance movies, then its a winner. 80's bad hair, bad dancing, bad outfits, bad background music, but full of greatness...

What's inspiring you this week!?

NB: As I am just about to finish and post this monstrosity, Julia Lester stops by to ask me a favour. Don't know who Julia Lester is? Neither did I... till I found her on the ABC Classical FM Website. She brings home the Classical Drive for the crazy Adelaide people who are driving home from work. I liked how she introduced herself... it was classy. Small time fame, but coolness.

:: trails, mud and stacks of fun

2011-07-14T01:01:00.000-07:00

Friday afternoon was not your typically inviting weather for camping. Nor was Saturday. But brave it we did and conquer it we have.

My shift at work on Friday went relatively well. Showers done, we all made our way at our pace up to the Big Room for the Friday Barbecue Breakfast. Fridays always have a great start because no matter how long you are working for, you get to eat a hearty meal with the residents. Work finished a bit late, and i managed to shower and pack my car up for camping within an hour. I was also impressed.

Picking Pete up on the way, I was highly amused that he was bringing more stuff than me - a girl. He was even bringing more clothes than me, which when I first thought about it, I wondered if I somehow could've missed packing vitally important things like underwear or a change of socks. Satisfied I hadn't forgotten anything, and that I pack better than him, I happily left him to tie all the bikes and gear up [because he didn't need any help, he said] and then we made tracks for the hills.

We passed the Mount Lofty Information Centre with the understanding that Pete knew where he was going. I thought we needed to take road [a] but Pete thought we took road [b]. So we drove down road [b] to discover that it wasn't the way we were needing to go. I again thought we should take road [a] but Pete thought perhaps we should go down road [c] - but the choice was up to me. SO I did what any chick would do - I drove back to the Information Centre to get a map.

HILARIOUSLY... I was right. But because I'm nice, I don't rub it in. Noteably, if it was the other way around, I wouldn't hear the end of it. Ha. We had some trouble getting the lock undone at the gate, but we found the site quickly, followed by Tim & Nay.

We were all ready for bed - it was only about 9pm - when Justin & Cheryl finally arrived. It was amusing to watch him put their tent up, he wasn't happy with his tent not behaving, and it probably didn't help that we were having a good laugh about it. Pretty much, as soon as they were set up, the rest of us dispersed to bed.

The next day, after a restless night of sleep, most of us took a while to warm up to the vertical position but thanks to the roaring fire that wasn't starting too quickly... [note: kids verses boys. Kids cheat first, then boys cheat, then boys atleast start the fire using their cheating method]. The blokes took swing to the wind and hacked up several logs, slowly building our burning nest egg up throughout the day. I took a ride down one of the roads nearby, only to discover its mush and lack of riding ability on a downhill run and careered into the trees via a slip-sliding path. After a tour through some pine growth, I came out the other side, muddy, tired but enjoyed the ride. After lunch, some of the others took to a ride, and found a bike path through the pines that a group of us did several times. It had all the perks of sharp corners, sludge pits, a nice down hill run quickly followed by a sharp turn that if you miss will create an entertaining scenario for anyone else watching. Atleast after we finished the ride, I wasn't the only one with a mud trail up my back and splatters down my front.

Justin and I had a jam sesh in the arvo as he brought his guitar [wait, I brought his guitar], which I really enjoyed, and I think the others did too. Some of the gang started getting tea ready, and others took some walks. At about 6pm, 2 girls that Sharon knows from church came out and brought dessert for us all. It was GREAT! We all stank, yet it was nice that they were keen to chat - AND bring great food. Our eyes were all stinging from the smoke which made going to bed early easy... until....

5:30am. Car alarm going off. Thankfully it stopped soon after, however we later discovered that no one turned it off and no one got out of their tents to check out why it did go off. But then something [okay, it was a roo] was sniffing at my tent not long after that - so I decided that Roo's had bumped into someone's car and set off the alarm. That was a better theory than one that some perve tried to get into a car and then came and sniffed my tent. Yeah, not cool...

The next day we all were packed pretty early and eating delicious porridge. That is, all of us except Justin & Cheryl. Somehow they missed the note [or the general awareness] that you usually pack up and leave a campsite early. There was this classic moment when they were both sitting looking at the fire eating breakfast when the rest of us are loading up cars and tidying up. I had a good chuckle!

After a GREAT lunch at Williamstown, we all made our ways back home to unpack, set up, clean up, pack down and wash.

God, I just love camping!!!

More things I like...

2011-06-06T19:31:00.000-07:00

Anna Sui - Sui Dreams

Snap - brown/brown Etnies calf boots

Uptown Girls - white/black/green Etnies

Vitruvianspector - Threadless

Daria: the complete Animated series @ JB HiFi

The Animatrix - JB HiFi

Mmm... the Bodyshop. Pretty much anything from there. 'Specially Neroli Jasmine...

Okay, that's enough for now... :)

"Would you like some dressing on your wound, sir?"

2011-06-02T04:21:00.001-07:00

For those of you who like looking at my face [haha] here's the latest photo of me - for you

The events that took place since last Thursday:

I was trawling through through my Inbox on a lazy day off when I happened upon an email that I had received from a RTO [that's a registered training organisation for those playing at home] for ab Enrolled Nurse course I'd enquired about, oh, quite a few months ago. This email was an invite to attend an Info Sesh about the course. On that very day. Dang...

Shooting off an email to enquire if there was still a place for me to attend this session, I wasn't sure that the reply would be good - or quick. Surprisingly, considering their lack of reply to previous emails, it was both. A spot was still available for me. Good vibes chartered through my veins as I set about my day of doing whatever it was I felt like doing.

I arrived at the Info Sesh, wearing my cool ice-breaking "How" jumper {its a huge hand printed on the front of my hoodie, and if you open the zipper a bit, it turns the huge hand into a Klingon [startrek, anyone?] greeting hand instead}. I couldn't understand why the session would take two hours until after the session our guide and teacher showed us around the facility and surmised the tour with "We'll meet back in 10 minutes for you to sit your application tests". Pardon eh moi? No - speakah - zee - crazy - guide - talk. Application tests? I am not prepared for this!!!

Numeracy test *sweat*... I gave everything a shot, but if you're a normal person, its probably been since you were at school since you've had to multiply fractions, divide long division sums and do divisions without calculators that end in decimal places because one number just doesn't quite fit equally into another any amount of times. Round this, square that, change this from a fraction into an answer. Give me {a x b + c = X} anyday. Times up...

Literacy test. *chilled* I could do this blindfolded with both arms tied behind my back. You'll agree. I am pretty sure I passed this well. Really well.

Our teacher said that if in about 10 days we get a phone call, its to set up a time for a 2nd interview, a 1-on-1 meet and greet that would be about an 80% guarantee that you are in the course. However, if in about 3 weeks you get a letter, its to say that at this time you didn't make it.

Now in no way was I discounting myself, but I was sure my maths would've hindered my application. Positively not making the cut.

I leave the meeting feeling confused if I've done the right thing, if I am kicking myself in the biblical gonads [as my friend Monty suddenly likes to say] by jumping too far ahead of where i'm comfortably grounded. Comfortably, comfortable, comfort...

Gee, Carola! God doesn't call us to live a comfortable life! He wants us to trust Him! Follow Him! God clearly held a position at the Info Sesh for me so I could attend even though I RSVP'd on the day. He clearly guided me through my two tests that I was to do. I just had to give up on concerning myself with the fiddly bits of it all and just trust God that this is the direction He was wanting me to head towards since I started heading along this parth. Clearly - it is [well, to me anyway]...

Lets continue in this story, shall we? It goes on...

Tuesday. Phone call from private number. I usually let unknown phone callers speak with my secretary on my message bank. This time I answered. Its the RTO i was at on Thursday. They want to have me come in with all my documents and certificates. They want me to come in.... they want me to come IN!??!?!? Reality sets in and I feel I've been accepted into the course. Oh crap. That first 30% of fee's... how am I going to pay it!? Calm down, pray, rally the troops to pray, and sort that out after the interview...

Wednesday. Interview. Thankfully, I was blessed with most mornings off this week, so I had plenty of time to get myself organised. Interview goes well, and I'm with the same lady who took us through the Info Sesh and subsequent tests last Thursday. She likes that I've been on a ship.

"Do you know Annie?"

Ahm... sorry?

"She was on a ship with her husband for like, 2 years. He's a pastor. Do you know her?"

No. But cool! But no. Does this hinder my entrance into the course?

"No no, you have done very well, and I see no reason why you shouldn't get in."

Are you kidding? I was sure my maths flunked me *sad face*...

"Why? You did really good on both tests. No worries-lah! Just wait for the email with the attached documents, fill them in, come pay the 30% and you'll start on June 29. I'll see you then!"

{insert my freaking out face here}

I shouldn't question God when He is sending me in a direction that i'm excited to go on, but have no understanding of the practical means on how i'll get there. I can't help it! I'm an independant, usually self-sufficient young single woman. I've lived out of home since I was about 15. I can look after myself. To have the control taken away makes me get nervous with sweaty palms and furrowed brow. However, I saw it when I went to the Doulos both times when he's floored me with the generous ways He gets things done because that's the direction He wants you to go. I shouldn't be surprised everytime, but I always am.

That 30% concern of mine? Gone. Why? Because someone has generously paid for it already. Someone who doesn't even know God in the personal way he should. Someone I love and who loves me and I'm so lucky to be loved by such fabulous friends and family. That someone is my Dad.

Is God rocking your 'boat' and blowing your mind? Are you following Him or are you just filling in time doing your own thing before you realise where you should be going?

Life - is TOTALLY awesome! Like I said on my FB status "God your plan must be HUGE, man!"

I'm still running around a little bit excited, a little bit terrified and a great big bit ready for this next step.

Oh boy. I'm going to be a poor student again. Haha!

Things I like...

2011-05-30T00:02:00.000-07:00

So - birthday's come and birthday's go. I personally struggle to buy things for people if I don't know what they want and if I think they have, well, pretty much everything.

But i {secretly} love getting presents. I just have this flaw where I don't get over-crazed-excited about what I get... "Oh, a piece of paper - I love it!"... "Oh, a new house - I love it!". Clearly I've never received either of those as actual gifts.

So - since my birthday is coming along soon, I thought I would just give some thoughts on things I would like to get my mits on...

Baby-G White. I've had a secret love for Baby-G watches since I bought my first Girlfriend magazine over a decade ago. They have style, class, and most of all they are fairly durable and can go anywhere. Not to mention look great.

Skullcandy Headphones. How awesome are they? So green, so funky, so foldable, so awesome.

I don't even know if they would fit my uber buff calves, but they look very cool. But warm for winter. But cool. The left ones I cant remember where I saw them... the right are Novo Baldwin's. Still, cool.

Sounds to drive to - I love Foo Fighters, and despite knowing almost all the lyrics on this album, I don't have their music in my collection. This is weird. I have a big range of music, and no Foo Fighters. Weird.

Just some thoughts for now...

Some things just make me sick...

2011-05-23T22:43:00.000-07:00

... and the following is going to be open and honest - incase this is unusual. You've had the heads up now.

Deep breath in. Exhale.

The past weekend has left me feeling like there is a part of me that is broken; a component has malfunctioned; I seem to have blown a gasket or a radiator hose or timing belt; a link in the chain of my created self has weakend.

One month ago I got gastro. Well, atleast I thought at the time that it was gastro. It was the full throttle story which, I will spare you the details - not because you can't handle it but because I don't want to share that much of myself with you... I mean, really, you appreciate this moment and thought of mine... oh yes you do...

I also got that dreaded delivery service arriving with my gift that I get without having signed up to any subscription service which comes once a month to the exact date it arrives... and yes that was my lame version way of saying something else. Lame Delivery Service Gift is what it shall be known as here. Elsewhere it is known as many things like Aunt Murtle's Curse or The Crimson Tide. And if by now you STILL don't understand... perhaps you can just miss this post altogether and come again next time you see i've written something because this is clearly too advanced for you... or you are male. No offence either way.

So - tying those two paragraphs together would have an unfortunate situation, you would agree. Lets add another statement to the mix...

This happened again one month later. On the weekend just gone.

Now, that has gone from an unfortunate situation and has been upgraded to a slightly unusual circumstance. Same situation, repeated. Gastro + Lame Delivery Service Gift. Twice. I don't think I can make that same statement any other way to be any clearer.

It was only Saturday, after the events I couldn't stomach to mention that happened on Friday, that the thought really clicked into my head, and the question was posed in my mind... "is this going to happen EVERY time?". I don't know anyone who has this sort of reaction to getting their Lame Delivery Service Gift. I am already one of the small population of receivers who get Lame Delivery Service Gift's who also get migraines with aura's [a visual disturbance which causes me to be visually impaired for a period of time] on the irregular occasion. I also can have extreme pain when receiving the Lame Delivery Service Gift irregularly, too. But, the idea that a couple of days before the delivery date, I get gastro-like Symptoms as a pre-present present... this does not rock my boat {no pun intended, Logos Hopies}...

So - where has this lead me to be right now? I'm going to see a doctor soon and ask a few questions. Basically, I want to try ways of avoiding this from happening, what could be causing this new reaction, if it will likely happen again, and if I will have to "book in advance" RDO's at work [boo!!!].

It scares me. Just a small bit. Its not fun and I can think of many better ways of spending my rostered days off [RDO's]!!

If you can, if you are able to, but mostly if you want to - please pray for me for this!! I'll very much appreciate your prayers!

**Update**
The Doctor today said that this is all a reaction to the hormone change in the body, it could've been brought on by the chemical change being different [perhaps my body thinks being 26] and that unfortunately, there is basically nothing that can be done to prevent it. She prescribed me some anti-nausea drugs and hydralyte to have with me when I get 'close' to that delivery date. And i have to count and predict when I think the next bout might happen and trial to see if this happens again. And that's it for now. We'll re-asses if it continues to happen for some months... *sigh*

Two Eyes Squared

2011-05-11T23:39:00.000-07:00

I have a love of reading a good read. The kind you can't stop yourself from reading when you have a brief moment in your day. I love the bah-ha laugh outloud ones, the crime scene ones, and the ones that make you feel all warm inside. But there is still the favourite read - the personal fly-on-the-wall look into someones [real] life. In the blogsphere, sometimes this starts at the very end of the story and you have to work your way backwards...

Derek K Miller caught my attention by the opening line of his last post on his blog Penmachine:

"Here it is. I'm dead, and this is my last post to my blog."

Of course, nosey-parker me had to actually find out what this all meant. I don't even remember how i got to his page in the first place 6 days ago - but I have been reading backwards ever since. The way he writes is amazing and in its tell-all way its honest, true and relational. And I couldn't imagine what he went through while keeping his charm in his writing.

Infact, after just writing that bit above, I realise I have a bit of a 'thing' for certain blogs dealing with the loss of loved ones. There is a girl I know, "K", who as a newlywed lost her young husband - and to read the daily challenge for her to get through every small step of life captivated my heart and my blog reading. Prior to that, I was addicted to a young mum Lauren in America who blogged of her tale of going through life with a newborn baby, Jack, after her young husband unexpectedly died [well, there's not many tales of a bereavement being expected I guess].

So why do I enjoy [note, the use of the word 'enjoy' does not imply anything other than being captivated] these reads so much? Perhaps for me it is because I have not experienced such a loss that these experiences catch my attention. Perhaps its because I find human behaviour interesting to observe. Perhaps also its because I just care - despite not even knowing most of these people.

What blogs appeal to you - and why? Do you have a similar obsession with reading similar blogs??

I'd be interested to know what others say...

ZIVUXIOPUVOPHDHFGHGGAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!

2011-04-26T19:28:00.000-07:00

I wish punching people in the face didn't hurt - however - truly I am glad it does, because it prevents me from punching someone in the face... if that makes sense...

Surely in December last year I mentioned that I was involved in a minor car accident... *checks*... no apparently not. Maybe it was wise it was not mentioned as it was still being dealt with through the insurance people, and I'm sure it wouldn't have helped my cause by being 'discovered' telling-all to the cyber-verse... of you... and you and you...

the short of it was:
December 2, 2010. I was driving, mid afternoon on a thursday, heading to the usual Kids Club [HYPE] meet. Approaching traffic lights, I decided to move from the right hand lane into the left hand lane - no worries. As i was getting closer to the cars ahead of me, the sun came out from behind the trees, I sneezed. my feet came off the pedals, I realised I was still approaching the cars so I went to break and... bang. Imagine my 4WD with bullbar hitting the Ford Territory ahead of me... who then hit the Mazda Bubble ahead of him. Thank GOD no one ended up in the middle of the oncoming traffic, and everyone was mostly okay. I got a sprained ankle, the dude I hit had a sore neck.

It was scary and frightening and I felt terrible for what happened, I even appologised, but it was an accident, and sadly like I've experienced, it really does 'just' happen.

Today, as you are aware, its now the end of April. And here is where my frustration has exposed itself. One of the other parties involved in the accident has now decided to claim medical expenses on my behalf. I don't know why its taken so long, because I expected to be notified about this in the Dec-Jan period. I can't say they are wrong for it only being now that its coming out, but its certainly bad timing. The dude i spoke with today said that it could be just the cost of the doctor visit - up to $300AU. ~~Why anyone is claiming the cost of a doctor visit if there wasn't anything wrong beats me - I also had to see a doctor.~~ Okay, now I'm just getting annoyed and a bit fiesty... Reject that last thought.

I am sorry today is your lucky day that you get an update from me and its utter crap. Lucky you! Want more interesting news that's far from interesting? My work has wonderfully rostered me on the past public holidays because they love me [its true, I actually asked why], and the past public holidays I've managed to get some freak illness. The first one - a month ago - I got this viral-flu going around at the moment. Its like the flu - but so much worse. You can't shake it, you can't take anything for it except to make the symptoms less severe. You just have to wait it out. Straight after that I had a week off - so there goes the money for that month. Then we have our 5-day Easter/ANZAC holiday weekend. Brilliant! I have the first half off minus a couple of hours, then work about 17hrs on PH rates on the Mon-Tues!! Wrong. I get gastro Sunday night. GASTRO. Working Monday or Tuesday did not happen. Followed by today - wednesday - my DAY OFF...

I am so glad God has blessed me with a sense of humour and a money-to-share Dad... I better have my beggers story ready for when he gets here...

Hey, so you there on the other side of this screen... you have a ripper awesome day. Really! NO, really! Go out, see the sun [if it exists in your part of the world] have an ice-cream and be amused by other people. I'd really love you to do that...!!!

"The less-frustrated... Carola"

Latest, Greatest, Faffiest and stuff...

2011-03-29T19:09:00.000-07:00

If you are a facebooker, you may have seen one of my latest status updates depicting the current funk I'm in. For those of you playing at home who have not allowed yourself that great time-water of a blessing, I'll post it here... from Monday...

I walked into the Doctors office and said "Hi. I have a middle ear infection, a throat infection, a sinus infection connecting both the throat and ear infections, a combination of the flu and/or this viral thing going around and... i'm on the mend." He said "My thoughts exactly. That's $25 and you're on your way"

I actually wrote that in all sincerity, minus a few additions to make it a little more interesting to read - however it did seem to come out in a bit of a "Did I tell you the joke about..." kinda way.

So to clarify straight away - i wasn't charged for the visit - score! I checked with the Doc, and even looked at the receptionists as I was leaving expecting them to run me down for not paying for my visit. But i did go in to my appointment and explain my symptoms, my thoughts, he did his big check over and agreed with me, said there was nothing more that he could suggest I do other than what I have already been doing, and to have a couple of days off to rest. I didn't need a sick certificate for those as I was already having 2 days off from work, and he couldn't 'back-pay' sick certificates for the days that have already been taken off, of course.

So then I went and bought a "get better soon" present for myself. Well why not? I finally earn good money, and I could spend it on stuff that means nothing, so how about putting it towards something I actually would love?

I bought myself a very sexy black acoustic guitar, and I'm sure I pretty much instantly felt better than I did before I walked into the music store. I lah-lah-lah-love it.

My next purchase is a bike [tredly, cycle, push bike, bicycle], but I have been saving up for this purchase because of course it would be more expensive to fork out money for all the fiddly stuff like a helmet, bottle, bottle cage, lights, and the bike itself. I went and looked at two bikes on Sunday, the first was more expensive and was like a motorbike without the motor it had that many fang-dangled fancy things. Who needs their handlebars to be able to tilt up and down? Suspension in the seat would be appreciated for the rough spots I'm sure. And suspension on the handlebars too. Disc breaks? Mud guard would be nice for the wetter seasons. Why don't they add a odometer so I know how many kilometres I've travelled between services, and a speedometer to inform me know how fast I'm travelling while I'm speeding down the main roads, because the last thing I'd want is to get pulled over for travelling too fast... on my bike.

To surmise this post, I will conclude that I am about to take on a bit of a road trip with my housemate, Mel next week. She's leaving. On a jet plane. Don't know when she'll be back again. Moving to "the Motherland" for the wedding of Prince Willburger and Kate. Personal Invite by the Queen, or so her farewell invite implied.

Its been a bit full on around here. Hope you are laughing your way to the bank [and imagine how rich we could be if we earned money everytime we laughed!!]...

When I Grow Up...

2011-02-21T22:18:00.000-08:00

"When I grow up, I want to be..."

Surely, this is a comment that most of us have heard of or know of, or have even stated outloud ourselves. Well, I am here to tell you that I am still saying it.

I have always changed my mind on what I wanted to do in life, a statement I heard enough times from my mother, but the thing is, I think I don't know what I want to do - ever. Period. Of all my occupations so far in life, I have never aspired to be any of them. Not a student, a bum, a volunteer, a check-out-chick-turned-supermarket-all-rounder, an assistant secretary type thing, a missionary [not another form of being a bum], a bum, and an aged care worker [currently]. And, scarily, most of those occupations lasted less than 2 years [quite a thankful point when I think about those times when I was being a bum].

I am also my own worst enemy. I hate being with out work [and am not currently unemployed if you are thinking you've missed out on some big news - from the part-time blogger that is me, that is], yet when I've been out of work I find inspiration to get my butt into gear scarce for big, long, vast periods of time. On the flip side, when I have a job, like I currently do, I long for the days of carefree nothingness and have plans upon plans of things I could be doing - if only I didn't have a job.

On the flipped-flip-side, there is the loathsome monetary issues. I hate being broke, and hate is a strong, passionate, "barely recoverable" emotion which very much equals to my emotion towards being broke. I superglue-strongly dislike borrowing from others - except my Dad, but that's another story - and I even more super-dooper-glue strongly dislike getting the pitiful government hand out that barely covers my life expenses - including the student fees that often come hand-in-hand with the government hand out times of my life.

Dilemma. Aspire to be a bum and do absolutely everything you want as long as it doesn't require a cost of any sort and be happy to live in squaller because you cannot pay bills, because we know that is the ultimate expectation of a person who does not work [well... usually]. Or, aspire to be someone, somewhere doing something that allows you to do absolutely everything you want as long as you are not taking up work hours or other commitments and live life not having too many worries about, well, pretty much anything.

PS - When I grow up, I want to be happy, doing whatever it is God wants me to do.
Even if it means being a bum for a while.

No Boys in Carpeted Areas

2011-01-14T03:22:00.000-08:00

In The Bachelorette Pad, we have a few rules. One of my favourites is that "no boys can go on carpeted areas" within our house. This basically means we cannot have the boys go up the stairs or to our rooms. Which is a pretty good, "well-behaving" rule to have so that we are all well behaved young women!

Pray for Australia

2011-01-11T16:26:00.000-08:00

Right now, a natural disaster is being experienced in Australia's tropical state, Queensland. Incredibly high rainfall - an unusual occurrence during our summer season - has caused mass flooding through most of the southern Queensland, affecting Rockhampton, Toowoomba and Ipswich [among other nearby towns] and has begun to decend upon the state capital, Brisbane. Thousands of people have been evacuated from their homes and set up in shelters throughout the Queensland state, with a confirmed 10 dead people - 5 of which are children - and over 90 missing.

North-Western New South Wales and areas around Victoria, including Melbourne, are among those now on high alert for flooding due to the incredible rainfall expected [and being experienced] over northern Western Australia, Northern Territory, Queensland, New South Wales and Victoria.

Cyclones in the north of Western Australia, fires near Perth...

Its not just praying for those who have perished in these floods, but also for those being displaced from their homes in the shelters, and its praying for those who are cut off from towns for supplies and who are isolated by the floodwaters.

Its also praying for those who have gone up from all over Australia to assist in the search and rescue operations, its also for those who are risking their lives saving those who are stranded, and its for the clean up that will come after all of this - that communities will rally together and support one another.

Yeah... crazy times... but Australian's are good at supporting one another during a crisis. Usually.

The Band-Aid

2011-01-05T05:21:00.000-08:00

There is a Band-Aid on my heart. A patch that is fragile and easily removed if it has been treated rough; a patch that allows for healing, for the wound to seal, for the wholeness of the heart to be full again but... doesn't really allow for new hurt when it comes along. However, it doesn't matter that the Band-Aid is small, for it is designed to do a huge job.

This Band-Aid is durable, flexible, breathable, waterproof and temporary... and its no perfect: it has flaws. Sometimes, its not able to stop a leakage occurring because the wound is too great. The wound is exposed, agitated and cleaned again and a new Band-Aid is applied. Sometimes, the Band-Aid is not properly applied, and if the owner is not careful, it could get caught on the worldly ideas of justice and being right and revenge. Sometimes the wound is too great, and a Master Surgeon is required to help mend the tear. And sometimes, the owner refuses to let it heal, and doesn't use the Band-Aid at all.

There is a Band-Aid on my heart. Eventually, there will no longer be a wound, but its not just the Band-Aid's job to heal it. The owner of the Heart needs to let healing take place. The owner needs to go to the Creator of Life for strength and endurance during the times of need and of pain. The owner needs to let love overflow from the heart despite the thoughts of giving up for that would be easier than the risk of having it hurt again.

For the different circumstances that have burnt us and hurt us, forgiveness and love are key ingredients in the diagnosis of a wounded, broken or torn heart. The Band-Aid is good, but only for a little while. The biggest challenge in taking this prescription of love and forgiveness? It doesn't always taste nice. Sometimes, the prescription - though for us to accept and choose to administer - has a bigger affect on the one that has caused you your pain.

There is a Band-Aid on my heart. It has been agitated, the wound has been reopened. It hurts, but the Creator of Life has checked it out and its not a really bad wound. It will heal well, he said. It will make me strong, an honourable trophy of triumph through a season. His most important instruction is that I don't keep the Band-Aid on for forever... wash it with love and forgiveness and it will heal quickly.

the Alphabet starts with the letter A…

2010-11-02T01:31:00.000-07:00

Amazing how life takes a turn into a direction you couldn't imagine yourself taking. You picture yourself heading to point X, yet unbeknownst to you, God has you heading to point J. Somewhere along the line, God-willing, you'll find your partner in crime [a partner to share a life sentence with, criminally termed here - haha] who just happens to be heading to point M, with God also directing them towards point J.

I am not trying to tell you I have found my geographically- and directionally-challenged man yet. No. He's still running wild in the wilderness out there, with no map in hand, following no GPS, not realising where I am just yet, just simply enjoying his time running around with no pants on, beating his chest and playing with sticks in the dirt. Despite how appealing that image really is…

I am also not telling you that its all Mister Man's fault that I am still single and waiting for him to rescue me like a fairytale would. Because I am not a princess stranded up a tower with immensely long hair, nor did I eat a bad apple and am stuck snoring my head off till he decides that kissing a sleeping person isn't creepy at all. I have [many many] things to learn, like truly being content with where I am in life, how to deal with conflict better, loving as un-conditionally as I can… while Mister Man simply has to "evolve" himself [the creation kind of evolving that is] into a man who will realise how super awesome I am - and be okay with that. Because I am okay with that…

Point J. I didn't plan on calling it Point J - the direction that God has me and future hubby, yet its quite OBVIOUS why it would be Point J. What could that be, one could wonder. Juicy. January. Jubiliee. Perhaps the most OBVIOUS answer is Jesus. I'm sorry to burst your "thinking of J-named things" bubble, but I just couldn't wait for you to quit thinking up J-named things of insanity like I am sure you would…

So - that's all I have to say at nearly a bright and sunny 7pm on a Tuesday night, while sitting here being awkwardly stared at by a creepy dude who INSISTED on sitting at the very table I'm at despite ALL the free space and free tables that are in this cafe. Thankyou, creepy man, for creeping me out, tapping on the table like you own it [oh, well, where's you name and booking, huh?] and invading my "personal space" space, while I sit here with headphones on drinking my delicious cappuccino. Yes. Thank you.

PS - my little nephew's 2nd birthday is TODAY. He's two, for those who needed clarification. What the dang-nabbit. I've seen him but a glimpse of that time. Well here's an accidentally-awesome photo I took of him for your viewing pleasure. Look, and adore the little ragamuffin.

PSS - Did i mention how amazing this cappuccino is - despite the creepy man?

Detadpu::updateD

2010-10-08T07:04:00.000-07:00

Okay, so... I really need an update on my blog. Its so hard to motivate myself when I have work in the afternoon [starts about 4pm and goes to... 11pm] and I have the morning off. I like to fluff around and take my time doing everything because I know I will be pretty busy in the evening during work. And if I work all day [so like 7am - about 4pm] then I am just poopered after having walked around and around for the whole shift!!!

However... work is awesome. And that's right - not studying no more - just working now. The girl I was studying and on placement with... and myself are now un-officially employed where we had placement. Which is SUPER because we already know many of the things there are to know. We get officially employed this coming week.

Its so nice to work with people who I am familiar with and pretty much everyone [residents included] are great to be with... most of the time. Some other carers and nurses are REALLY rough and rude to some of the more difficult residents, which I struggle with alot [the attitude and care they take... not meaning the difficult residents, who I do have some struggles with aswell... oh whatever]. Many of the carer's dont want to spend the little bit of extra time with the residents to allow them to do some things themselves because we are all so busy and have so many other people to take care of too, and understandably, it makes you late for other things that need to be done. But this takes away their independance, their dignity and their respect, so this is something I have to master in order to keep people being actively apart of their care, while at the same time, not spending forever with one person [when there's usually about 12 in all -per section- also requiring your help].

I think dealing with difficult residents will help me better deal with difficult pre-teen and teenagers [I guess I am inclining to the day I might have my own, hey God!?!]. Because, many of these people act like they are -truly- children. They throw tantrums, get mad when they don't get what they want, smack others who they are angry with, follow you around nagging or complaining or abusing you, slam doors and things and scarily remind me of myself when I misbehaved as a teenager.

But they also love you, like to help you, talk to you, laugh and joke with you and appreciate what you are doing for them.
We've had now 3 people pass away since I started placement. The first one affected me mostly because I saw her decline while working with her that day, and then seeing her moments before she passed, but understanding that she was close to the end, not realising it was SO close. That hit home a little bit, but it was a experience I have to get used to. I haven't as yet 'found' someone who has passed away, and I think that will affect me more.

I have been trying to pray through my day for those who are more sick or more frail, in hospital, or are really just waiting for death to come. One lady, who has barely eaten in weeks, is as frail as thin paper over a simple frame, and is now remaining in bed being too exhausted for her legs to hold her body up. She has outlived all expectations. She is also bringing up many discussions from the other carers who work there that 'if there really is a Bloke upstairs' that He wouldn't let this lady continue to live in her condition. Its hard to not say "Christian" things - plus I'm not really allowed to either-, but I try and show that maybe its not just this lady waiting to die, but maybe its her family too... that perhaps she has yet to pass because she is still 'hanging on' for them. Today, I told her "its okay", something that we are encouraged to say to those who we know are close, not for any reason but sometimes they just need that one tiny bit of permission that they can go. I will be sad when she passes, but I know that it will be a great relief to her and her family.

I am also very stuck if people say "Someone just needs to end it"... not meaning it in a mean way, but I guess in their head its the humane way.

Its funny, I see death and mental health illnesses so differently now. I think I am reacting to my normal friends and those people I will see in everyday life differently... to mood swings or outburst of verbal abuse [not like my friends are prone to doing that - haha] or to the fact that sometimes, people just need someone to listen to them. At the same time, there are a few residents who I am VERY frustrated by, and wonder if they play on their mental health illnesses to get more attention.

One lady asks EVERYONE the same question... and sometimes you have to be quite blunt with her in order for her to understand, which I struggle to do. Eg, she will usually say one of the following statements:

"Will you help me? I am so lost..." so we take her to her room or point in the direction for her to go;

"This stick [walking stick] says my room is number 18, but I don't know..." so we confirm her room and do the previous actions;

"Do you know who I am?..." why, yes we do;

"Will you shower me now?" and we tell her "soon", or just after *insert something here*

EACH time that a person gives a response, she then goes to the next person and asks them, like she is playing people off of each other until she gets a response she likes. And, I'm all for understanding that she has dementia, but her family doesn't experience this extreme behaviour. Interesting!

However, I truly love my job!! I clean bums, front-bottoms [girls] and some tackle [boys], but I really don't think about it - much like changing babies. Sure, they have bits there, but you do get all weird about it. I have a weekly task of viewing under many boobies, and can I just say that some of these women are well a-breast!!! We have special lifting machines for two ladies who are bed- or chair-ridden. We make breakfast, serve morning tea, lunch [3 courses], afternoon tea, dinner [3 courses] and supper. The nurses and those of admin importance say the residents are getting overweight or gaining weight... I wonder why. Its like a 4.5 star hotel.

I get to be kissed by many of the women [the double-cheek-kiss that Europeans do... because these residents are from Ukraine, Croatia, Russia, and Poland] in the morning... and in the afternoon get abused in foreign languages [which just makes me laugh really] by the same people. I've been kicked in the face, slapped, punched and bitten by a lady who has no teeth. Strange feeling.

And yet, I know this is exactly where I am meant to be right now. I have been challenged to 'tone down' on my enthusiasm - but not to completely stop being me...

I hope this update has found you in the most fabulous day today...

Nurse Betty... week one.

2010-08-20T21:25:00.000-07:00

I seem to start most of my recent posts with an apology of sort. You see, I don't have the same access the the internet that I used to, and when I do get access, I have to make it quick because I am sharing it with other people.

This past week has been even more sporadic with access to the internet. I have officially begun Nursing training. Its been wild, detailed and extremely full on... I am loving it! Two more things I am loving? Being able to call myself a nurse, AND, a coffee shop selling delicious coffee using Five Senses beans straight across from my uni. So great to drink the coffee that we used on the Doulos when we were trained to be Barista's around Australia. And the guys there are great to talk to during our breaks.

I have attention issues, and study always drives me mad because it takes SO long to learn something and then I don't plan my study time wisely and then because it was SO long ago that I learnt anything without putting it into practice, I usually forget it. However, my current study plan is SO busy, SO quick and SO full on, I am still full of information and understanding and my assingments are so much easier to do because its so fresh.

Consider this: my course is 2 months long: one month of theory in the class room followed by one month of practical in a working environment. Its jam-packed full of information. Its so tiring, exhausting and draining. I don't think I've slept this well since I left the ship. That's how exhausted this makes me feel, while at the same time, I am so full of energy and excitement for the next steps... I am pumped! 6 months of 'holidays' could have something to do with this.

So - do you know what I am studying, aside from nursing? Firstly I am going to be a Aged Care Nurse. I will hopefully gain work pretty much straight after my studies have finished, and then I aim to work till about April next year [2011] when I will either stop working completely and pursue Enrolled Nursing studies, or I will do part time work and study. This will be decided according to how much the course is, how much money i can save between now and then and most importantly... if that is the direction God wants me to pursue.

God put this passion on my heart, and God can 'drive' the desire for more studies if that is where He is directing me to. For the time being, I am hoping to specialise in Paediactrics and/or Midwifery after Enrolled Nursing studies. However, I am also willing to be directed in any direction from here. Maybe my job will just be to make the days entertaining for the elderly people. Who knows? God knows.

And the vision, that was planted in my brain... still remains..

2010-07-22T07:56:00.000-07:00

Insane-ness in my brain-ness.

I do appologise for my delay in keeping up with my updates on here. I am afraid that I had a rather very busy month just now and I'm really only catching up with things that I have been wanting to do since coming home last week...

Melbourne:
Up at a sparrows fart, I flew to Melbourne, Victoria for my de-brief from my time away on the Ship. I didn't get the feeling a regular de-brief would give you when you *finally* get to talk about all the things that have happened since you have been gone, because I had 3 months to talk about these things with friends and other missionaries who have already come back or have experienced these things before. De-brief for me was more about having official closure to my time away and to realise that "my time onboard the Doulos was the biggest wake-up-call of my life".

While in Melbourne, however, I was SO blessed to stay with my fabulous friend, Jessica. She was also onboard with me, and we got to be Secretaries together [just in different departments]. She is, lovingly, NUTS! I think I had more enjoyable time with her talking about how life is now that we are home, what its been like with family, our home churches, and doing some random days out than I did actually having the official de-brief. Jess and I come from very similar backgrounds, and are experiencing the same issues with being back in 'reality'... it was such a blessing to spend that week with her! The Moose, Bartender Dave, cutting off dreadlocks, finding cute and dirt cheap clothes, Ganaya, "today I die", the painting... so many awesome memories...

I also got to catch up with people who were from my church who have now travelled to live and work in Melbourne. Of the three groups of people, two are expecting a baby any day now. I got to hang out in the Melbourne CBD and eat scrumptious dumplings, then fabulous dessert with Tamra & Dave, which was SO great because it was the first time meeting Dave, and I HIGHLY approve of the man. He's not as chatty as Tamra and I, but he was definately on par with our conversations. I am so glad Tam has met such a wonderful man, and I just know he will take care of her and their new bub!

My other evening consisted of a SPLENDID home cooked meal by a fabulous Alexa who is GINORMOUSLY popping with her baby. James and I got to talk alot of crap and we all shared stories about our times away, it was so great to hear fun stories and see amazing photos of the Netherlands. I think I had one of the best laughing experiences with James and Lex, they have such a brilliant sense of humour, but have so much love, too. I just cannot WAIT till their little bub comes into the world. What a fun place that will be!

The non-having-a-baby friend is Dave. It was a short time to catch up with him, but it was a really nice time. He's studying to become a pilot, so it was exciting to hear his stories and of places he has been with people from one of his new churches he goes to. That... and he's going to be a pilot. I think he currently has his private pilot's licence. What an occupation...!!

From Melbourne, I flew to Newcastle:

Another sparrows fart flight gets me landing in the mining town of Newcastle, New South Wales at about 8am. My fabulous friend, Katrina was there to pick me up and tour me around, and I have to say, having never been to Newcastle, I was VERY impressed. At first, from the airport, the view isn't so much. More trucks and industrial looking. But then a corner takes you to a corner and the next thing you know, you are in rolling hills and jagged surf coast. So beautiful. It was such a great time with Trina, another friend from the Ship, who is someone I value very deeply in personality, character and charm. She is a super dooper trooper, and likes my jokes, so that means she's even awesome-er... even if she did put a less-than-attractive photo of me in her newsletter [pfft!]. Haha. Lake Macquarie has got to be my favourite place by far... it was just so beautiful there... Newcastle will definately have another visit from me...

And then there is Sydney... but you will have to wait till the next post to read about Sydney... and the rest of my current adventures!!!

And... something to encourage you with:

“Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, at all the times you can, to all the people you can, as long as ever you can.” - John Wesley

Love Is Patient... Indeed.

2010-06-09T02:35:00.000-07:00

Hello Single Ladies [put a ring on it?]...!!

I am having just the nicest few weeks recently, and despite a minor move to a new temporary home this coming Friday which also coincides with a certain Birthday to celebrate 25 years of life and the 26 of a close mate PLUS a baby shower the following day, life is hillariously awesome.

And by hillariously, I mean... I love how God does things in life that just make you laugh your bum off. Really. There are MANY moments where I feel like I've lost a good portion of my tush from laughing so much...

Take housemates/roommates for example. ALL of the girls I have lived with, minus 1 person, have gotten a good bloke either during or just after the time I've lived with them. How random is that!? Do I give off a love vibe? Am I sort of like the glue that brings people together? Or maybe better than glue is one of those straps that you have to gradually tighten by a winch-type thing - and perhaps I am like the winch-type thing!? OR perhaps from living with me they realise that they would much rather be married because what a horrible experience...??? Nah! Not possible!

What ever it is, I feel a bit like Cupid, minus the ouchy arrow landing in your butt. And for some reason this only happens when I live with people. And, for another random reason, it quite possibly doesn't have to be a LONG time to live with someone...

Well. That is grand. I love a good Love story!! Of course, I don't usually get mentioned in the wedding speeches of "how it all began" because it is quite possibly only me who see's the quirky connection. But still... it is kind of sweet to know that for one reason or another, I can be unknowingly involved... without being the third wheel of course :)

Funny, too, is that after a good 2 weeks of being the MOST at peace with the whole singleness idea [have been very peaceful since being back in the country 3 months ago], and having had zero questions about when I was going to start bringing in some grandkids [cough mum & dad cough - but really, they don't pressure me so much] that only now I have started to be asked when my turn will be.

Its all in God's timing, isn't it!? How great it is to know that God has it all under control! Though seriously - Mr Husby can hurry up any time he likes :D. A small quote of a cute thing I said to a friend of mine just now, something I thought I should share because quite frankly, its going to go into the Husband Journal. Yeah, I've decided to write down prayers, thoughts, feelings, verses etc into a book I can give to Mr Husby when we are all serious and looking towards the next step...

"Hey Mr Husby, I missed you today when my friends told me that some romance is happening in their life. If only you would stop and ask for directions on how to get here already. Its not a shameful thing to do. Many men have conquered the art of asking for directions without feeling powerless or any less of a man. Or -- better yet, wait till I've moved again, which is Friday incase you weren't sure. But then a week later I'll be travelling around the countryside for a month or so. So, you will have to get your butt into 4WD, Mister!! Missing you. Love me"

Isn't that cute and hillarious at the same time? Hahah!

He will get here when God knows I deserve him and when God knows I am ready for him. Even if I think I am ready, chances are, I am so not ready at all!!

Totally Wicked...

2010-05-29T08:59:00.000-07:00

I love love LOVE it when God quite literally blows your socks off.

I've had just 'one of those' weeks. I was down with Laryngitis - for those playing at home its an infection of the vocal chords - for pretty much the whole week. I'm still not over it but today was the first time I got most of my voice back.

The week consisted of me staying in bed, watching movies and cancelling phone calls when people were ringing because I couldn't speak to answer them. [of course, I sent a message to say I couldn't talk!]. I went out on Thursday... and stayed for the smallest amount of time at the kids-club I work at and then came home. I felt pretty off. Mostly just knackered... but otherwise fine!

Then... this weekend happened.

So - from the start people can tell I can't talk so good. But, it seems that I'm good for a conversation [who would've thought that!?].

Last night [so, Friday night for you playing at home] I had a date. With Jesus. And 6 other amazing chicks. It was a completely encouraging!! It was for us single ladies who, quite frankly, can get a little stressed by life, feeling like we are being left behind, or, what's wrong with me because I'm still single - that kind of stuff.

So my fabulous friend, Sarah, invited us ladies to a date with Jesus night. Sarah looked like she was you idyllic 50's wife, and she was SUCH an amazing hostess! It was quite simply amazing. A great platform for what a date would be like [considering I've only really been on one official date and it was out, this was what I felt a date should be like].

Candles, rose petals on the ground, roses at the door greeting us, a fire crackling to stand next to while listening to the rain on the roof, mocktails in hand, fine linen and cutlery, the lulls of sweet music in the background, a gift on the table [it was a ring! Like, an engagement ring-type ring].. it was beautiful.

And I was encouraged to remember that I may be single on Earth for now, but I am part of the bride of Christ. I am wholly and dearly loved by my Father, my heavenly husband, who wants to give me the world! I felt so... blessed! I also felt like I talked WAY too much and by the time I got home I lost what voice I did have left... hahahha....

And then today came around.

Tonight I was participating in a youth-encouragement event to motivate and excite young people to be missionaries wherever they are, and my role for the night was the mingle beforehand and to make professional coffee's after during supper.

To start off, I was ready early. THIS NEVER HAPPENS! I'm always late. Well, not by much but I usually don't plan my time very well at all. Today, I was prepared! After spending the day listening to the rain and feeling so mellow, I was prepared! Perhaps last night did more than encourage me! Perhaps - I felt relaxed!!

So I arrive, and I check out the machine to use, which was very small and different to what I was trained on, and it took me awhile to find where things where but, eventually I nutted it out!

You have to remember, I was trained on a ship on an industrial sized professional cafe' coffee making machine, and I was trained at a standard that was certified as basic understanding but trained in high-class coffee making, that I am a little fussy with how things are done or left. So when there was no cleaning chemicals, no brushes, no tamp [what to press the ground coffee with to make it flat before you put it in the machine to press water through to get the shot]... I felt frustrated and unsure that this match between me and the machine was going to come out nicely...

ESPECIALLY when i was shown how to use this machine and every technique was, if I had done it on the ship, I would've been given a right severe telling off... BUT... when I was doing it, amazingly, every rule I remembered came back to me and we...

connected. The machine and I, that is.

And when the orders started coming... then the line of people kept growing... when people were coming to say how good their drink was... [and one or two even snuck in second one!]... I was so... SOOOOOOO... blessed! And encouraged! And... over the moon!

And maybe if I pursue doing nursing [amongst the many things I'm pursuing right now] I think I should get back into coffee making too! I realised tonight how I love making coffee! Infact, when I come back from my next bout of travels for debreif and sort-of birthday pressie for myself in June, then I think I might just go apply to be a barista again!

GOLLY GOSH! I am so excited that I doubt I will sleep tonight and its already 1:30am!!!

And tomorrow... I get to do my talk about the ship at my church. FINALLY! I'm so excited!!!

Be utterly blessed right now in your life today! You are worthy of love and from a distance, I love YOU too! If you were closer - like Alex - then I love you here too... of course! xoxox

Female[itis], Anatomy & Male. I mean, Mail.

2010-05-18T06:24:00.000-07:00

I have a problem. I like to refer to it as "female[itis]" - and not THAT kind. I'm referring to the kind that occurs when I get a cold.

So - you know the Man-cold symptoms. Absolutely everything is the hardest thing to possibly do, see, move... whatever. They need to be loved and looked after and given a number one priority. You need to pop in and check that they know you have popped in on a very regular basis. It's a hard job being a man with a cold it seems, or maybe they are trying to say its just a hard job being a man...

When I get a cold, I do some pretty odd things. I mean, I actually prefer to be left alone. I go all "Walker, Texas Ranger" like. I battle it and sleep it off. The problem is the fact that when I get sick with a cold, I turn into this highly emotional female. It's like my inner guard has been let down and all that tough, macho-ness I try to pull in my normal days slips away and I become a feminine version of myself. I'm so not blokey, and I'm HEAPS less tomboy than I used to be [you would say now that I'm quite the girl and that's a compliment]... but when I get a cold, I am the female-connected version of me.

Yesterday I worked a day at my old employment and it was good physical work that I really enjoyed doing - mostly because I could see the results as I tossed out their rubbish. But I was so knackered. As I started getting this cold on Sunday, yesterday wasn't bad but last night it had fully kicked into gear.

So in my lethargic effort of life last night, I decided to watch the final 4 episodes of Grey's Anatomy for Season 5. The last episodes I have for the whole collection I've got. And I bawled like... like I was personally affected by the episodes themselves. Like I was personally involved. I wailed for what felt like ages after the episode finished, then would go wash my face, refill my drink and get back under the covers for another episode, as if I was paralyzed from doing anything else but watch another episode. I never do that. I mean, I cry because I can be a right old baby, but not like that. That was female[itis] me.

Another quirk in my female[itis] me is that I find that I'm drawn to the romantic movies, the ones that give you those butterflies and make you dream about the ridiculous love story you just might have, which might be like the one you just watched, but for whatever reason, we punish ourselves and watch these movies because, we love them. I wouldn't admit this in real life terms but, I secretly love them too. As much as I hate them for all the fake-ness and how it teases you and often are just filled with vomit-worthy script followed by vomit-worthy script, I still, hillariously, love them.

So today I watched a classic. A real good one. One that I would actually say in public that I've seen it, and one that I would watch even when well and completely sane. "You've Got Mail".

Maybe its the fact that its got Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks in it - who are both awesomely, adorably dorky characters. I love it. And I watched it today. It was so worth being sick for the pure enjoyment of watching it. I did many of those "wiping my consistently running nose while laughing at the same time so you make your tissue do a little dance in front of your face, which makes you laugh just that little bit more" moments. Its just... charming.

And it has amazing quotes...

“The whole purpose of places like Starbucks is for people with no decision making ability whatsoever to make six decisions just to buy one cup of coffee. Short, tall, light, dark, caf, de caf... low-fat, non-fat, etc. So for people who don't know what they are doing or who they are, can for a low $2.95 get not just a cup of coffee, but, an absolutely defining sense of self. Tall.... de caf... cappuccino.”

I loved that quote. I don't know why. Perhaps its the inner coffee addict in me. Perhaps its because no matter where I go, I have a signature coffee that I like to have from each place. Zabbacino's from Cibo's. White Marble Mocha from Hudson's. Irish Nut Creme from Gloria Jeans. White Chocolate Mocha Frappacino from Starbucks. And when I try and burst outside of my little bubble I've created in each store, I get overwhelmed with the choices and just pick a cappucino or a flat white.

Perhaps I like the quote because it's quite true in a coffee lover's world. If you don't know where you are going, doing, seeing, being... but you know that you can walk into a coffee bar and order a tall, skim caramel macchiato... then you are just living life really! I mean, what else do you need!? Okay, well the obvious for those new here is that you have to have a main order of God in your life. That's a given. But you can still have a side order of something else, something personal like... spontaneity, energy, laughter [that's like a second main meal for me], creativity, weirdness, joy, strength... and importantly, love. You need love in your life because it binds you together. It's what makes us live and breathe. Love is God is Love. Don't believe me? Try and take it away and see how far you get.

From over here on the sniffly side, I hope that you have tons and tons of God, love, laughter, and tall skim caramel macchiato's in your life. I hope that when you get the sniffles, that you can snuggle up in bed and watch some cheesy, girlie movie that you know is just not real but you also know makes you feel just that bit better, too. I hope that wherever you are, whatever you are doing, that you know that as a daughter of the Lord, you are wholly and deeply loved in every moment and in every aspect of your life and existence... x

"Hello! It's God calling..."

2010-05-14T01:49:00.000-07:00

I was talking to my Dad the other day, something that I have the blessing of being able to do about once a month. Not because I don't want to talk to him more than that, we just don't often have enough to say if its a weekly phone call. After the greetings, I say "How's work?", he says "Its okay, you know the usual stuff". He says "What are you keeping yourself in mischief with?" I say "I've been doing a bit of this and that". The weather. A joke about something or someone we know. The latest goss on people we know. Half an hour of saying goodbye [that's Dad's gift really], "love you's" and off we go again.

He's only just got a mobile [cell] phone, and when I say just I mean, nearly a year ago now. Since this move into 'yuppie ville' of technology I feel more connected with Dad because I can just send him a text to say hello or that I'm thinking of him. He's not so familiar with the concept of text messages, so to him, its like a phone call. If he gets a text, [since he doesn't know how to reply], he feels the need to phone.

I sent him a random 'I love you, Dad!' text to which later in that evening just as I'd started eating tea after being with some kids for the night, he called. I shot him down saying he didn't need to phone me if I send a message like that. He can just know I'm thinking of him.

It got me thinking. I think I've done that to God too.

As much as I would love to think I'm a great child of God, I also realise how I disobey and don't appreciate the love that God has for me. He sends me good things, and I accept them. I send him a prayer [like a text] and when He replies, I disregard it. When He calls, I tell Him he doesn't have to because I'm fine, I'm in the middle of something, or I'm [insert inconsiderate reply here]. Its like... I put conditions on the love God has. I put times on it. I like God's love attention when its through a blessing or when it suits me, otherwise, I seem to disregard it.

My Father, God, loves me unconditionally, and I know that. He wants to be apart of my everyday, and He just wants to show His love to me through various things. My Father, Clive, also loves me, but there could be points in life where the unconditional love could be harmed or broken, and the love hurt.

I love both of my Fathers. I love them more than I say. I want to blame the aspects of my childhood as the reason why I get a bit awkward with certain love attention, but I'm almost 25 and I think I cannot blame that anymore. If my Dad calls me, I should respond with loving kindness knowing that he is thinking of me. But I get annoyed because he's interrupting something I'm doing.

I hate that and I need to work on this more, both with my Heavenly and Earthly Fathers. I need to let my Dad love me the way he knows how to, and if its through a phone call, then that's what he knows. I need to let him into my life and not just when it suits me. But, bigger than that, I need to let God in my life everyday. I need to let him drive me. I need to let him steer the wheel and be my GPS in life. He know's where I'm going.

If I decide to drive, then I also need to be willing to pull over on the side of my Life's road and answer His call when he needs to speak to me. And better than that, I need to put him on Speakerphone more and mute him less.

Funny thing is, being on the ship exposed me to many people who hugged everyone and loved personal and physical contact, something that was very foreign from me. Mum always says I hated being hugged when I was young, but I think there were bigger reasons for that. Feeling unaccepted was a big one. Feeling not a part of my split family sometimes, another big part of it. I didn't want fake love, and maybe I thought that's what I was getting. I know that at school, being the uncool kid, I would have friends only when it suited them. As soon as I did what they had intended me to do [like, their school work], or when I stood up to them, I was once again uncool and they stopped liking me. Obviously, that was a HUGE part of my dilemma. School, aside from the work, kinda sucked for me.

But thankfully, my awkward years are far behind me. I might talk a little less now [than I did a year or so ago], but I'm still me, still quirky, still struggling with life and definately still learning. Ha!

Have a rip-snorta blessed day today!

Portrait of a ENFP...

2010-05-11T06:23:00.000-07:00

Have you ever wandered what it would be like to read a story that describes, in strangely great depth, many of the qualities of you that you didn't think were qualities but more... unique facts about you? So strange that you feel like you possibly have been living in The Truman Show for your life till now... and right at this moment you suddenly realise that all along you have secretly been filmed and staged to do things. So strange, that you laugh outloud in a slightly awkward way because you realise that you actually DO the things you have been reading. So strange... that you feel partially proud and partially freaked out...?

Have you ever done a test... that the conclusion was, infact, a very great and pretty accurate description of yourself? Sure, not every point mentioned is like you, which is totally fine because this test isn't 100% accurate because there are some which are hard to pick between...

Have you ever been on the Personality website? Because if you haven't, I think you really should...

This test, isn't to prove how right or wrong you are. It isn't for you to show that you are allowed to have mood swings and get stroppy whenever you want because your personality profile said that it happens, so its okay now. It isn't to give you the answers to some of your problems. Its just... a profile that might help you understand the way you interact with others and the world. It's really... really interesting...

I, typically, am profiled as a ENFP. I did it today with one of my friends who, as it turns out, just so happens to be almost completely opposite to me. I guess when they say opposites attract, it really means more than romantic relationships, too.

So... I was reading my typical profile, and I kept bursting into fits of laughter. One particular quirk, oddly, is it said that my profile can typically enjoy reading classic romance fiction, like, Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice. It just so happens that I started reading Jane Austen's Sense and Sensibility just a couple of weeks ago. Freaky? I thought so too... more for the timing of reading that particular author and doing this test... and then it also says that a ENFP often doesn't finish a book... losing interest and finishing the book by only reading sections of interests... which is SO WEIRD because... that is something I thought I did due to being... well... me. Ha! I'm not alone after all!

Another part it mentions about me [well, my type] is that [ad-libbed] if we aren't stimulated in the tasks we do in life, if aren't feeling like we are being productive, if we are given strict schedules and mundane tasks, we will become unhappy and work less efficiently. SO... it means I cannot work in an office. I hate office work. And now I know this on a bigger scale apart from the fact that it just bores me, I know I should look at different jobs to that. Outdoor jobs. People jobs. Interactive and imaginative jobs. They are good ones for me...

My favourite statement out of it all?

But ENFPs are always consistent in their value systems, which they will impress on their children above all else, along with a basic joy of living.

That is SOOOO cool!

Best thing about this website, is that it helps you with relationships with people [with friends and, even better, with someone you might want to be more than friends with], jobs that are good for your personality type, and personal growth - basically - how to use this information to be a better you.

Its not the bible. And its not to tell you what to do... but, its bloomin' interesting!!! Enjoy!

Baby, Love

2010-05-06T00:03:00.000-07:00

Someone I love a great deal is going to have her first baby soon... I am SOOO excited. This is highly likely going to embarrass her that I'm writing this but, I don't care!!! If it was happening to anyone else I would probably write about it, too, but she is WORTH every bit of pain I'll get for talking about her so publicly [to the MILLIONS of unknown people who visit my blog... because that happens...{not}...]...

Alex is one of my closest, bestest, funniest, grooviest, honest and most adorable friends I've been SO blessed by God to have in my life. I believe we compliment each other in many ways. We can sing silly songs, do craft invitations, decorate houses but usually make each other laugh because we do spastic things like... blood-curdling screams in cars [only as long as you clench your butt cheeks at the same time] or we gang up and tease her hubby, Tim, because... we can, and because he's worth it...

I can talk to her about pretty much anything, and for some reason [perhaps hormone levels of soon-to-be-motherhood], I feel like I can REALLY talk to her about pretty much anything now since I've returned from my ship trip away. Not like I couldn't before, of course, but perhaps I also developed more confidence while I was away to talk about other things, too [like, soon-to-be-motherhood and all the perks and quirks haha]. And, to add a 'baby bonus' - she even let me feel her 3-weeks-to-go tummy, [that's right, I touched the baby bump!].

She is not the kind of gal that gets flustered or stressed very easily. She can get annoyed, but that's a whole different matter. She has a chilled-out kind of attitude that is like water on a ducks back - life, no matter what happens, just keeps on rolling. She is also such a supportive wife to her husby, too. This might sound kind of weird but - they really are people who I look at and admire. The biggest and best thing about Tim & Al is that they love God SO much! He's a big part of their lives, but not just a part of it - he LIVES in their lives. They love kids, reaching out to them and their families and to extend a helping hand to those in need.

I've known Tim & Alex for pretty much my whole Christian life. They are both my family and my friends. I can go to them to laugh our heads off or to have a deep conversation about, well, anything that may pop up in our lives. They can keep me accountable and they can kick my butt, but most awesome of all - they have let me be in their lives...

I don't think they are lucky to know me. I think I am blessed to know them.

By the way - Alex is due on May 18 but... there are a few people who have their thoughts on when the baby will pop out. I'm voting the 16th of May... we'll see how she goes... :)

Death Stars at the Prom

2010-05-04T22:25:00.000-07:00

Last night I did a crazy awesome thing.

I went to a "Jedi Day" event at the Promethean. Now, let me explain this in a bit more detail.

For the Star Wars Groupies, I am not one of you. Sorry. Go for it if you are one who swings that way, but, I'll pass thanks. I just like the movies. For the rest of society, I'm still with you. But, don't think what I did was anyway geeky. It was - without a doubt - AWESOME!

The thing is, the band - Adam Page and the Death Stars - get together once a year [they are aiming for more appearances] to play classical movie songs and give it their own vibe, be it jazz or reggae etc, and dedicate it to an event. Like - the day that people devoted to the Star Wars movies call Jedi Day [well, apparently the official day is May 25, but May 4 is also celebrated]. Why also May 4? May the Fourth be with you. If you were a Jedi you would understand...

The other amazing thing is the talent of these guys. 5 of some seriously awesome musicians - who have barely rehearsed any of the music - that's how good they are - get together and jam - and you are invited.

The lead, Adam, is a FREAK musician. Actually they are ALL freak musicians. He has talent bursting out of his Chewbacca outfit at outrageous speeds. He goes from sax to banjo to ukelele [which he'd only been playing for 3 weeks - that's how annoying he is], busting a sweat, dancing a groove and looking right at home... to the other Sax, Princess Leia, who could play to extreme heights of awesomeness, duets with Chewbacca, solo's to make your toes curl - just magic... the guitarist, gentle Darth Vader, who rocked his solo set back to black, with such concentration and skill and an awesome hairstyle he really owned his spot on the stage... to the drummer, Yoda, who is the tallest midget I've ever seen, who whipped ass on the drums doing things that made me find hardly believeable, at paces that I've never seen and before last night would've considered impossible... to the bass player Starship Trooper who whipped out some seriously phat beats, while being one of the mellowest dudes chilling out the back of the stage... and then over to the pianist, Obi Wan, who, I swear played so fast and so well that his fingers literally blurred he was going at break neck speeds... I absolutely LOVED it! My leg never stopped tapping and my head never stopped bopping to the classical/jazz/reggae fest...

Could you imagine the Imperial March at regular, fast, superfast and reggae speeds? Exactly. It was a room full of talent watched by a room full of pretty cool people. It was an awesome night.

And as a taster, Adam is quite literally a one-man-band. Imagine him with an actual band. Go on and check it out here...

Life in [C]minor

2010-05-03T05:14:00.000-07:00

Cminor. I claim that to be 'chilling out' for the context of the title. Of course, you know what I am like with anything title related. Usually, in a quirky-me-kind-of-way, my titles rarely make sense to the rest of the post I write.

Moving right along to something VERY important...

Have you EVER heard of an electric whipper-snipper... [FYI for those playing at home in other countries, this is a tool used as a grass cutter to cut short the growth on the edges of flower beds etc. Usually consists of a half circle shield with a piece of plastic string-stuff that goes around the propeller-like centre a million times a minute - the motion 'whips' the grass short].

So... anyone?

I felt like the biggest 'tool' today when I was using this electric whipper-snipper. I felt so utterly ridiculous chopping down grass with an extension cord following me around, which was equally as annoying as it was ridiculous. I was proud of myself for finding some plastic string stuff to put in as the 'blade', and equally proud of myself for fixing it before I could use it. But I still felt ridiculous. And annoyed. The owners have the garden shed locked with a different key to what I have - so i couldn't go and see if there was a filthy, dirty, covered-in-cobwebs, fuel guzzler for me to use and feel MIGHTY when using it. Nope. I had to use the electric one. What the hang!?

Well, I'm not sure when the yard here was last really hacked. Or raked. Or something. I got a nice gentle sweat up raking the 'lawn' area - which really has no lawn on it, just many weeds growing together to pretend to be grass. Also, there are more than required travelling plants around this house. You know, the ones that grow like vines and seem to just 'creep' everywhere? Well, theres a creeper rose bush, and about 7 creeper Geranium plants. They are just sprouting up everywhere. I hope the owners don't mind the trim up...

But it was SO nice to feel dirty again. Nails full of dirt and grass clippings. Pants completely covered in crass clippings. Dirt in places I don't recall being places that helped cut the grass or rake the 'lawn', yet, they still have enough dirt and grass clippings and gumnuts [ahm - yep!] to make me think that these places MUST have helped. Righty-oh.

So, today was my chilling out day. One of two days in the week where I don't have to leave the house to drive anywhere. I try and keep these days free if I can so that I can just... be. Watch some Grey's Anatomy. Do the Grocery Shopping for the week/fortnight [depending]. Do some washing. Do something creative. Do whatever my heart pleases me... which is one thing I do like about having no job! There really is alot of freedom to do - whatever!

PS - FYI - I could possibly be starting some volunteer work with a radio station. A RADIO STATION! That IS exciting! Keep checking back for updates on that! :)

PSS - in other news my mate is TWO weeks away from popping out her lil'un... TWO WEEKS!!! That is exciting. And just a little bit scary [i mean, the idea of pushing out a baby...that is]. Soon there will be a little person for me to spend too much time coo-ing over. And I will be about to make random annoucements of "look how big [baby] is!!!". That is exciting, too!

Are you sure its not frostbite...?

2010-04-30T08:23:00.000-07:00

Well hey there avid readers [all... three of you?]!

I have been having many varieties of struggles recently - mostly due to the fact that the honeymoon period of being home has far from finished and now I'm running through phases of

"I'm lonely and I wish I had someone to talk to... [add person]... okay, now I have nothing to say and wish I was alone"

Ha. Bad. Or perhaps this one...

"I'm so very very very happy!!!!.. [insert a moment]... okay now I'm so sad/angry/want to kick a shed in/lost/unsure/etc"

I couldn't even say there were reasons the mood changed. The mood just changed. Oh, there are many other moments, let me tell you, but if I sit here and describe them all, well, it just might depress you instead! So - think of this as me giving you that release of NOT having to read it! Okay? Okay!

One particular thing I want to talk about is this:

Re-adjusting to cooler weather after living in the Tropics for [insert period of time here]...

I lived on a ship that sailed around the tropics for about 15 months. Prior to that, I had about 3 months of Summer back here in Adelaide, Australia. So - in all, about 18-ish months of good decent, "more sweat coming from your armpits than shirts that are dry" style weather.

Sure, in the tropics, it rains too. Alot. But its not the rain that when it starts you head to cover because getting wet means getting cold. No way. Far from it, infact. These rains were like having a luke-warm shower without having a choice and with all your clothes on. At first, its awkward. You don't know what to do. You are soaked through enough that you are sure even if your pants dry you will still look like you've peed yourself. Your shoes fill with enough rain that you squelch when you walk. If you opt for thongs, then your feet turn into a mudbath. When you walk out of the wet into the dry parts of malls or shops, you start dancing like a crazy ice skater because the shoes are so slippery on the ground and you have no traction. Your book that you brought for the bus ride is curling on the corners from the wet paper. You just cannot win. The locals, however, they are so used to the weather than being so wet is like another version of their outfits. Its really quite funny!

So my dilemma is that I feel exceptionally cold. So cold that I wonder if my bones will shake apart because I feel that cold. I put more layers on, another pair of socks, beanies, scarfes and a jacket and when I can hardly move I realise I have to pee. Its annoying!!!!! But its really cold! This evening is only 12*C. I don't live in a place that snows but I feel like if I look outside it should be snowing I feel so cold.

Have I become desensitised to cold weather while I was away in the tropics? Winter is my favourite season because of the layers of clothes. Perhaps my complaining really is in the fact that I just need to get more winter clothes. I'm so glad I can use this space to write things which in the end - I can resolve in my own way anyway. Ha...

The other particular thing I would like to talk about is this:

Hair today, gone tomorrow: Why having a good hairstyle is so important to us...

We all have hair, but why do we want to have 'perfect' hair. "Find the style that suits you", the magazines scream out to me. "Want a new YOU? Change your hair!"

I have been researching for a new hairstyle. My thoughts: mid-length, layered/graded, incorporates my fringe... face framing. I have rather curly hair, rather medium thickness and at the moment it feels rather long. Its to the middle of my back if I straighten it. Its only just past my shoulders if its left curly. But it feels like it has no life. I want something... new.

So - where does a person go to find something new? I look online first, Googling in the images for "short curly hairstyles 2010". I find straight hair, long hair, ultra short hair, and every other 'care-hair' comes out before some medium length hairstyles. Most of them, apart from a bare few, are infact, medium length curly hairstyles - but on women who have dead straight hair and their hairstylist for the day and curled and hairsprayed and "schooschzed" their hair until they get their medium length curly - perfect - hair. Its so not real.

The 'real' ones turned up being hippy-retro-emo-special hairstyles that only the darest of dare-devils would wear. But I'm talking about going to your neighbourhood hairdresser and getting my hair cut. I'm talking about an everyday style that doesn't require 3 hours prior to showing my face in public spent scrutinising over each strand till its 'perfect' I'm talking "wake up, shower, schooschzing for about 7.75minutes and then walking out of the bathroom. I'm talking 'normal people' styles. Where can we find our hairstyle-bible!?

Perhaps its in the magazine. So I buy one of those $4.99 magazines on hairstyles. I flick 3/4's of the way through before I see anything remotely resembling what I want. But - once again I'm showered in many styles - from the hairdressing salons of make-believe.

So - I'm going to take my thoughts and ask the hairdresser tomorrow, when I go in for my BIG CUT. Its the Girly day, when two of my closest friends and I go to have our hair done together and then we paint the town red with our fabulous new do's. It will be awesome. Whatever style comes through, it will be awesome...

So - from here I bid you... adieu...

Remembering the ANZAC's

2010-04-24T05:33:00.000-07:00

Every year on April 25 two things happen all over Australia and New Zealand. As the light of day arrives, a Dawn Service is held at War Memorials to remember the moment of "stand-to" - when the soldiers were awoken from whatever slumber they could get into and make their stances ready, alert and to mann their weapons. It's in these quiet, peaceful moments of silence that veterans [soldiers who returned from the battlefield] and the family of those who were lost remember them...

Originally, only veterans were allowed to attend the dawn service, to commemorate the timing with the original landing on the shores of the Gallipoli peninsula, while family members attended the daytime ceremony to remember their fallen loved ones. The days have changed, and now we are all encouraged to partake in either or both services.

Why is this day special to Australian's? From the Australian War Memorial website, is the following...

When war broke out in 1914, Australia had been a federal commonwealth for only 13 years. The new national government was eager to establish its reputation among the nations of the world. In 1915 Australian and New Zealand soldiers formed part of the allied expedition that set out to capture the Gallipoli peninsula in order to open the Dardanelles to the allied navies. The ultimate objective was to capture Constantinople (now Istanbul in Turkey), the capital of the Ottoman Empire, an ally of Germany.

The Australian and New Zealand forces landed on Gallipoli on 25 April, meeting fierce resistance from the Ottoman Turkish defenders. What had been planned as a bold stroke to knock Turkey out of the war quickly became a stalemate, and the campaign dragged on for eight months. At the end of 1915 the allied forces were evacuated, after both sides had suffered heavy casualties and endured great hardships. Over 8,000 Australian soldiers had been killed. News of the landing on Gallipoli had made a profound impact on Australians at home, and 25 April soon became the day on which Australians remembered the sacrifice of those who had died in the war.

Although the Gallipoli campaign failed in its military objectives, the Australian and New Zealand actions during the campaign left us all a powerful legacy. The creation of what became known as the “ANZAC legend” became an important part of the identity of both nations, shaping the ways they viewed both their past and their future.
Australian War Memorial

For my family, we didn't lose anyone to either of the World Wars. My grandpa on my mothers side was in the Army but never saw a battle or went to the field. Both of my grandparents on my fathers side were in the Second world war. My Nanna as a field nurse and my grandpa as a pilot. Of their 4 sons that they had, only one ever saw a war - the eldest, Peter - when he served in the Vietnam war. He is a veteran now, and still struggles with the things he saw. Peter's brother, Neil, was in the Army for about 20 years, but never saw a battle. My father, Clive, and my other uncle, Kym, as far as I know, never joined the military. My brother, Troy, was a cadet for a long time but left early when he decided to attend University.

I don't just love ANZAC day because it means something to my family. I love ANZAC day because it was like a right of passage for the Australian and New Zealand countries. We made our mark in the world for being withstanding, for the comraderie [bond] that the troops had to each other - to battle on, for the good of our country, knowing that to lose their life was in effort to help generations. Mates were lost. Family were lost. Foreigners lost their mates and family, too. We showed them that we can survive. Its also a day when we can reflect on the different meanings of war.

So what will you be doing on ANZAC day, April 25th?

Will you think of those who died... who didn't deserve to die?

Will it make you think of Jesus - who also loves you - who also didn't deserve to die?

Will you remember? Lest we forget...

Happy [is that the right word?]... Blessed ANZAC Day.

Reflection

2010-04-20T21:28:00.000-07:00

Speaking with my Dad last night brought up the discussion of my upcoming birthday. I don't even start thinking about it till the end of May, because it's not till mid June. But, Dad being Dad, he started thinking about it last birthday [or so it seems].

Milestone year. 25. I don't even think that is old. Its not. Its so young! Really, these are the years people tell you the statement 'The world is your oyster! Go out and get it!'. Well, I've seen some of the world. I've seen some of that oyster many strive till that perfect time in their life when they can go out and see it. I've done that. I plan to do more of that too!

But somehow 25 also comes with a question, from my perspective. "When!?". When will I meet my handsome Prince Charming who obviously has refused to stop and ask for directions - because men don't do that, as we're all aware. When will I get to marry my best friend and call him my Husband? When will I get to be pregnant and then to be the Mum taking her baby to play group. The world makes me ask "When!?". The perspective of the world makes me wonder why I'm still waiting. But I'm only 25! Why is this seeming to be a problem! If I was 35... 45... maybe then I should worry. But, worldly speaking, 25 makes me question things about life.

If I look back and think that me at the age of 21, I know I was far too immature to get married. I was far too immature to even have a boyfriend. I had alot of growing up to do, and it was only 4 years ago. I feel like in those 4 years, that I have realised how a husband isn't necessary in life. He's a blessing. He's like a bonus feature following the Film of life. You don't need to be married to live or to enjoy life or to do what God wants you to do. But, we are born relational. We are born with the desire to be loved. And we desire to love others. So, I guess this is where we need to know we can stop worrying.

My previous year has been somewhat of a roller coaster. A life that I never thought I would be blessed enough to live. I lived on a ship, that sailed around the world, bringing awesome people from all over the globe who are volunteering their time just to experience other cultures, other people, other lifestyles, while at the same time sharing hope to the nations. We were like a floating United Nations 'island'. We represented the world, and though we had some problems sometimes, we lived together well. Its just so sad to know that politics helps to make our world a messed up place. People with control issues help make the world a messed up place. People who refuse to love their neighbour make the world a messed up place. That, is messed up.

So - 15ish months of my life was spent around Asia... before I was 25. Not many people get to experience that.

Well... this has been an interesting reflection. Hope you find it... interesting, too! :)

I say to you, "Climb that MOUNTAIN!

2010-04-19T22:52:00.000-07:00

In whatever way that I fail in my consistency of writing, I sometimes wonder if I try to make up for in in length and depth. I wonder... are the conversations that I speak in my head before I write with my fingers clearer to me and make sense to no one else. Am I really more like my mother than I would like to admit? Do I talk so much that other people feel exhausted? I know that I have known many people who have made me feel that way, and sadly, I really hope I am not one of those people for others.

Rebellion. Its a word that emits a version of strength from it. Its a word that makes people in their comfort zones feel nauteous because in order to break out of their zone of comfort, they would need to be rebellious. Its a word that feels like it has power behind it. Its... a word. I feel like I'm in a rebellion. I feel like all I want to do is rebel against the old me. I don't want to be the old me. I want to be me now... me 2010... me today. I want to be the changed person I became when I experienced the great many things of the world that I saw and was challenged by while I was abroad for the 15-ish months I was away.

I feel like I have SO much time to be me, that I want to be anything but me at the same time. I felt like nothing when I had come back. I came from this 'house' of 300+ housemates, from noise and bustle and sound and lacking in so much personal time and space... to a house with no noise except for when I create it or cause it, no one else except for the cat, no bustle except for my own messiness, TOO much personal time and TOO much space. I felt so lost and lonely. I feel outside of my area. I feel well out of my comfort zone.

I feel like God has me in a hallway between 'there' and 'here' and there's no light in this hallway. In a sense, you are 'blind' in this hallway. The only thing you can do is to trust that God will guide you around the obstacles that you cannot see coming - but He can. Its like, a child outside of the family home. The child feels safer holding their Mum or Dad's hand. The child knows that the parents are in control and that they will help them along the way until they get back into the home where they know [most of the time] what is good and what is bad. I feel like I am just walking along holding God's hand. I feel like I'm not meant to know the next steps because He knows. Of course, I should be living this way normally anyway, but absurdly due to no employment and plenty of time on my hands to do - anything, nothing - I am much more aware of the situation now.

God has a way of getting us through this 'hallway'. Sometimes its the choice to leave an employment or not. Do you leave after you have found a new job, because its easier and you still get paid. Do you leave before you get a new job knowing that its better this way and knowing that you will have no income to be supported by. How do we know when we should stop driving and let God drive instead? How do we know that we aren't already letting God drive? When did we suddenly start 'driving' our lives and - are we on the Godly Freeway of Life or are we driving on the backroads because we think we know what's best?

Gosh. Too much time to think!

I have come to believe that the ship stopped sailing for more than just the fact that its an old ship. I believe that we were a 'Missionary Bomb' - exploding into the world, sending people who are from all 'corners' of the earth out into all 'corners' of the earth. I feel like I am back here in Adelaide to be more than an unemployed bum. I feel like I'm meant to climb the mountain - literally. God has me on a 'hiking' addiction and all I want to do is 'conquer' the mountain. Alas - we don't have mountains only steep hills but - the point is the same. If i can conquer the steepest of slopes, and I know I can do it because God has givin me the strength. At the same time, God has me with so much spare time to look after those around me. Whether its a woman with a broken ankle or best friends who are about to have a baby, I seem to be already available to them for such a time as this.

Well - I hope that for you - this was insightful. I hope that for you, this was an update worth waiting for. I hope that for you, God gives you the strength to conquer whatever mountain God has before you. Infact, I don't hope for it... I know he has given you the right strength for the right path up the right mountain.

Life isn't meant to be an easy walk. Its meant to be uneven, with lots of twists and turns and many steep slopes to climb. God knows what you can handle. If you are facing a huge mountain, and you believe God has you there for such a time as this, then God will also get you through it. God is carrying you - you just have to believe that.

Love Is...

2010-04-19T21:42:00.000-07:00

"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two."

From the movie, Captain Corelli's Mandolin

Just so you know... I'm now changing the site. If you have this in your 'feed' then I hope that you get this and have an AWESOME rest of your day... :)

Awarded "Over The Top!" - Aw, Yay!

2010-03-26T17:16:00.000-07:00

So - A while ago my best gal pal Al at Remember the Moments hit me up for this award - which just makes me feel like little butterflies are flying around in my tummy and gives me the biggest grin on my face - something I'm sure she experiences because she has her own "butterfly" in her tummy [due May!] And it was quite the nicest surprise because I really have been slack on my blog - so here's to a new start! Yay!

Here are the Rules:

Use only one word answer the questions, pass along to six favorite bloggers, and tell 'em you did so.

1. Where is your cell phone? Table

2. Your hair? Long!

3. Your mother? Loves

4. Your father? Tough

5. Your favorite food? Indian

6. Your dream last night? Lost

7. Your favorite drink? Juice

8. Your dream/goal? Serve

9. What room are you in? Office

10. Your hobby? Learning

11. Your fear? Heights

12. Where do you want to be in six years? Mummying-it-up

13. Where were you last night? Party

14. Something that you aren't? Married

15. Muffins? Now!

16. Wish list item? Guitar

17. Where did you grow up? [all over] South Australia

18. Last thing you did? Toilet

19. What are you wearing? PJ's

20. Your TV? Singing

21. Your pets? Mystery

22. Friends? Truckloads

23. Your life? Expanding

24. Your mood? Waking-up

25. Missing someone? Many

26. Vehicle? Rodeo

27. Something you're not wearing? Pants

28. Your favorite store? Ahm...

29. Your favorite color? Greens

30. When was the last time you laughed? Last Night

31. Last time you cried? Yesterday

32. Your best friend(s)? Many!

33. One place that I could go over and over? Kota Kinabalu, East Malaysia

34. One person who emails you regularly? Cara B

35. Favorite place to eat? Indian Places

Now, I am not blessed with an abundance of people who comment on my blog - so I will just tag YOU! Whoever you are reading this - wherever you are in life - have this as a wee break from the norm of your blog and hit me back with a comment and I'll come right over and check it out!

Or - you don't have to do that at all! But, I found it ridiculously hard to write just 1 word for my answers! Is that saying something about my abilities to use more words when writing and speaking than necessary? Ha!

Bless ya's!

Within the Willows of the Way I Want to Wish you Well...

2010-03-26T17:09:00.000-07:00

... Okay, butt is clicking into gear now... finally.

I want to revamp this site and give it a fresh new feel for a fresh new era... so hang tight. I've got plenty of time now and I will make this happen in the next 2 days...

Blessings..
Carola

WOW... [and whoops - totally forgot to upload this 2 weeks ago!]

2010-03-06T04:28:00.001-08:00

I am TERRIBLE at keeping this updated. Excuse over. Note to self - I should stop using this as my starting phrase...

Honey, I am home. It's the weirdest thing.

I've been home 2 days. 2 days!?! In so many ways, I feel like I've never left. Perhaps it was because being with my friends here felt like there had never been time between.

We didn't have the awkward "They have jokes and I have jokes and the crossover of jokes requires explanation because we weren't present - you know, when someone fell over at your home church and it was funny, but you weren't there so just give a polite laugh.

We didn't have the "Things Carola wasn't present at" or the "things the home family weren't present at" finger pointing - you know, when someone says "Oh, you missed so-n-so's party - it was AWESOME!!"

It was like - we just kept going from the day I left. It was really the best welcome back to my group of closer friends that I could've imagined. Thankfully, I went into seeing my friends with ZERO expectations. I know from the first time coming back from the ship that if you expect anything - even the smallest things - you will highly likely be disappointed. People love you but the care factor isn't there. They want to know - don't get me wrong - but they don't understand. The excitement you have for things are like aliens from another planet to people at home - they just don't get it. Not because they are daft, they just weren't there. Like, you weren't at home to see the things they did.

But - I'm also expecting to have my feelings change... because at some point people will. And I will. I changed while I was away - will I change again when I

2010-01-02T23:57:00.001-08:00

I am feeling many things. Lost. Confused. Unsure. Delayed. Put aside. Tired. Behind-the-times. Solitude. Seperation. Pain. That something is missing... and at the same time I feel other things. Joy. Excitement. Expectation. Variety. A new journey. Eagerness. Trust. Unknowing. Adventure.

I am not sure where I am at right at this moment. I feel a big gap inside from saying goodbye so many times. It's not like it usually is. Saying goodbye onboard usually follows with many hello's. But not this time. Not now. People are leaving and that is it. We are just getting smaller and smaller. My close friends have either left or are about to - which also means that I will make more close friends. But you know what I mean, right? Bonds that have been made are now stretched. I miss many people, and probably because I've been mostly drugged out the past week, for many of them, reality that they left haven't sunk in yet. When my closest pal, Rachel, left, that was like the breaking point. I was sore. Tired. On some seriously strong pain killers. And I was hurt. No one else can fill in the gap that Rachel filled. Just as the same that Rachel couldn't fill the gap that Alex filled. Or Mozza filled. Or anyone else from home that I so dearly miss.

One of the biggest things I've learnt on the ship is not to expect anything. From any situation or anyone. People who you think will keep in contact, don't. And people you expect to hear from, you wont. But, that's not all bad. We are all living our lives, and we all get caught up in our own situations. Just as the same as not to expect things to happen wherever you go. If I'm organising a program for a bunch of kids, not to expect as many to turn us as we're told. Expect nothing, and you will be surprised. If you expect 100 kids, you'll either get 12, or you'll get 300. And you just have to accomodate for that. It's just life.

Christmas last year [being, the Christmas of 2009] was probably the strangest Christmas I think I've ever had. The day was jam packed with things to do with the ships community. I didn't feel particularly festive because I was mentally preparing to be parted with two of my blessedly cursed wisdom teeth, people were leaving and... my mum and I had a conversation Christmas Eve which hurt... alot. But, I am a Bradford, so I am strong and things will be okay. Of course.

I do not like saying all of these goodbyes.

And now it is 2010. Crap! That is the strangest thing. I'll be 25 this year. Whoa-mama. That isn't old at all, but its an achievement. If i think about the ages I wanted to do things at - well, I have by far passed them. And when I think of how old my Mum was when certain milestones were had by her, I've passed them too, which sets into my mind that I'm behind the times, though I am not really.

*kicks herself out of the gloom & doom pocket*

I think I am just faffy today. Or lazy, but faffy sounds better. It's a Sunday. I don't have to work today, but I do have to work tomorrow when most everyone else is off. Tuesday - Friday I have to do a Leadership Training Course [okay, I don't really have to do it, I chose to] which will take up my time, and then the week after I am on Firerounds 11pm-7am. Don't call me that week unless you want to - which, I'm sure you'll love talking to a sleepy Carola :).

Hey so I'm stuck for amazing writing today, so I'm gonna get a smoothie or Bubble Tea [because I'm an addict] and then walk on back to the ship. I hope you are all having the most loveliest New Years Days... you know, its all new until its next year, then its old. Stay classy, San Diego...

MWAH!

Qwerty and other amazing things...

2009-12-21T23:38:00.000-08:00

'Man with no legs bums around" Confucius says.

So... I don't know what to write, only I know that i should update this.

The last thing I wrote was to say that I plan on remaining on my floating home till "the official end" but that could be as long as getting it to a location and then leaving or... sticking around to remove stuff off of the ship. Meh. I've not really decided that much yet. I just want to get off before they remove the floor from beneath me :).

Today is Tuesday. Like many Tuesdays, nothing much is going on around here. We're open to the public, so there are many people in the book shop, and due to an odd communication between the Engine and Deck people, an outting that was planned by one but not communicated has given our Deck department the afternoon off. Joy. BUT... I am on Duty, so my joy stays within the ships boundaries. It does include the quayside right next to the ship, but I have to be able to report to any situation that arises. Joy. Really.

One of the officers and I [because we are stuck onboard] were about to watch a movie but he didn't realise he had a meeting so... here i am waiting. Its a bit of a miserable day though, for Singapore. In Singapore, even if it rains, its still warm. Its crazy. I think the only way you can get cold around here is if you have a 'cold' shower and then lie on your bed with a fan on and no blanket. That's it. Otherwise, you usually have a trail of sweat running somewhere. Yay.

Its strange around here. Its the week of Christmas and I don't feel that we can even be there yet. There is no commercialism slapping us in the face for not buying at the latest sale [which is no sale]... or anything. We have some Christmas decorations around the ship, sure. We're right next to a mall with enough reminders about the commercialized Christmas, but it isn't a disease like it usually is back home. Its great! It means I can think of Christmas for the REAL reason... that Jesus is the reason for the Season! And not because I bought everyone a present onboard. My gosh, if I did that, that would cost so much!

Also, there are many people leaving on the 27th. Many of my good, close friends are going home. So, that takes a little of the joy out of the Christmas week. The ship's community is shrinking in size, and that's not a bad thing, but it does make one sad when you realise that many of these friends were friends because we were doing something, together, and that from here on, many of them I will never see again. BUT... we will meet again... one day.. in a heavenly place...

So - these days are numbered for some and unknown for many. I'm trying to make the most of the time that I have left with people, but when so many people are leaving, you have to prioritise so that you spend quality time making memories with the closest people you have. Oh my...

BUT - let me not end on a sadder note! These are the days of Elijah, preparing the way of the Lord!!! These are really exciting days and its such a great time to be alive! I am young [yes, still!!!] and I have many things that will happen in my life and many of them I am yet to do and will have to be patient to wait on the right timing of the Lord. But even then, of the things I've done already... these will be great stories to tell my grandchildren if I'm not senile already, haha!

So - have yourself a very merry Christmas... and I will pray that your life is touched by all the many great things you ahve seen and experienced this year.

Blessings to you and your family,

Carola.

What's the story...

2009-12-17T06:32:00.000-08:00

Well... just to quickly let you know where my brain is at... i have prayed alot about what I should do in the light of the current situation, where I should go, where I feel called to... etc... and honestly, I feel no calling anywhere else but here. To you this might sound whack, thinking "The ship is ending... why stay???"

Well, the ship still needs people. I committed to 2 years onboard the Doulos, and as I feel no pull to any country or ministry... I feel peace to stay, so I would like to stay. I believe my supporters will support me in this, too. They rock my socks off. And, the ship cannot go on for much longer past the 'due date' anyway... its just to get the girl to the last stop on her journey - be it a new owner or the scrap yards.

So, that is where my heads at...

[loving life and every possible moment within it...]

I Choo-choo-choose...

2009-12-06T00:05:00.000-08:00

So - when i last updated, unexpected events arised, and I've not attempted to update until now.

If people weren't aware, I live on a ship that is 95 years old. That's a pretty old ship. She's even in the Guiness Book of World Records for being the oldest floating passenger liner still in use. That is a pretty big achievement, especially as most ships these days don't make it past 30 years or more. And, if you looked at our ship - you might not think she is very old judging solely on appearance, and think that the other ships which look rusty and really... crap... must be older. Well, its not true. We take good care of our 'home', while others just allow their ship to rust out. Sad really.

So - this old girl who we have been doing the BIG maintenance on, well, she was heading for retirement but it seems that retirement has arrived earlier than expected. Most of us saw September 2010 being the end of our dear ships life, but due to many reasons and many things that we cannot control, she will retire on the 31st of December... this year.

For some - this has rocked their world - and they aren't even on the ship. Those of us onboard seem to be more chilled and at peace with everything more than people who were, say, preparing to visit, or join, or used to be onboard, or who just know someone who is currently serving onboard. Whatever reason, some people are simply struggling with the concept that this ship has past her prime. But, for me, these are the days we are living for. The days that we don't understand what is going on, the days that the only place to turn to is to God. He has EVERYTHING under control, way before this happened. And now, we are being a missionary bomb; from one place we are displaced to many corners of the world, for training, ministry, work, or the next step in our journey. These are exciting times. And i'm SO glad that I'm apart of it all.

Is this easy? Heck no. I had my meeting with our Personnel people to discuss what we are thinking and the possibilities of the next steps. I'm very happy to stay till the end. And, so are they. And then after that, who knows but God. Will the end be on the 31st of December, or the end of January... February... June??? Hopefully soon we will know what the future looks like more clearly.

All I know is, there is NO place I would rather be right at this time.

I didn't know where I might've been anytime in the next year when the ship was still functioning, and now I still don't know where I'll be, but I can tell you that wherever I will be is where I am meant to be.

So - sorry this is a few weeks later than I had expected. There has been alot of thinking times, of talking with others about their ideas of the future and where they think they will be going. Everyone will be in a different place in a different role in a new opportunity. So please keep us in your prayers.

And... I will let you know more when I can.

GB

Sorry seems to be...

2009-11-06T05:12:00.000-08:00

...the most commonly spoken word.

Hello. And... sorry. I feel like a bullet travelling out of a gun barrel, going at a crazy speed and getting everywhere fast. Either I keep my blog updated, and fail in my newsletters - or, I get my newsletter updated and fail to keep my blog afloat. Funny. I have lots of excuses I could use, like

- I thought having a computer at my fingertips often would make it easier, but it doesn't...
- The net hasn't been user friendly for a long time now, and I couldn't access the website till now...
- Work got the better of me, and once I left the office for the day, I really left the office...
- I'm tired alot. I think of things to write when I'm working.
- I don't use a QWERTY friendly keyboard.
- My dog ate it.

So... where am I? Singalah aka Singapore-lah. How am I? Exhausted [couldn't even write the word]. Knackered. Flat out like a lizard drinking. Why?

Dry Dock.

We've been here at Dry Dock World in Singapore doing, well, work on the ship for about... 24 days now. And better yet, there's more to come. We were quoted 5 weeks for Dry Dock this year because we have some major renovations to do to the ship to keep her user friendly and running all pretty for some years to come [we're praying]. So the 5 weeks [which was actually about 32 days, so like 4.5 weeks] has been extended another week or so. Basically, on the 23rd of November, we aim to leave Dry Dock. Only 10 days after our first predicted ETA date. That makes its about 6.5 weeks. That's a flamin' long time working 10-12 hours a day, starting at 6:30am for breakfast and going through till we finish.

For most of the 280+ people who normally live onboard, about 100 or so remain onboard working, and the rest do ministry off the ship. We had 2 phases because of the long Dry Dock and we now have to extend the 2nd phase so that they can continue doing ministry where they are working. This is a bit of a downer on them because they've been away from 'home' for so long, but exciting because they can continue serving the Lord in many different ways.

I've done some good quality decent hard work with the rest of my team and fellow Dry Dockies... its exhausting. Some people [who shall remain nameless] have actually said how boring they think Dry Dock is. Boring? It is far from it. I have laughed SO much and at so many different things. I have worked so hard and slept so good. They twiddle their thumbs and expect us to entertain them. BUT... I am not going to whinge. I am going to throw food at them. Thats a favourite past time, usually at Lunch. Good quality food throwing. We've had some that have gone nasty or have ended up on the wrong person [sorry, Chief!]. But we all laugh about it at the end of the day...after we have cleaned up.

But, today I am really tired. Really beyond what my mind can cope with. So... on that note, I am going to hit the hay. You crazy cats don't stay up too late now, you hear?? *smiles*

PS. There is something in the water Australians are drinking - so I'm just prewarning you. Apparently, and I've seen this first hand, that good quality fair dinkum Aussie drinking water gets you pregant and/or popping out kids. Be careful at the quantities that you drink. Outrageous.

God bless, and keep in touch!

Love, me

Houston, we've found Carola

2009-08-21T06:29:00.000-07:00

Hello World...

I seem to be less than consistant on my blog, something that I'm not exactly sorry for but wish we could add one more day in our week to do things like updating blogs, emailing, phoning people [if they aren't phoning me, which is usually the way].

Currently we are berthed in Bangkok, Thailand, with 3 days remaining before we head back east to Malaysia - Kota Kinabalu to be exact. Another long voyage is bound to bring excitment in the form of Fun Nights [full of embarrasment], sailing conditions and... good quality quiet time.

Alas, this voyage is the last I have with the BookShop. I don't want to leave my friends, but I feel that God is encouraging me to move in a new direction. We're way over the 6th month mark, and there is much change in the air. Many departments are losing people to other departments or because their commitment is over, bring a sad but somewhat refreshing time.

So I'm excited [and sad!] to become the new Deck Secretary. I don't like office jobs, but this one has the option of much variety and will be a challenge too. I do get the benefit of having the option of Deck Day Work if my jobs are done and I want to have a break, something that appeals greatly to me. But I really will miss my great mates in BookShop - Shift 2 especially. Lucky for me though, my new office is only along the deck from the BookShop, so they can pop in anytime. :D

So, we've been to Hong Kong when I last wrote on here. Then we has crystal glass water and smoothest voyage known to man kind on the way to Cambodia, which was excellent for our Ships Company BBQ one night. Cambodia is a beautiful but struggling country and we were blessed greatly by the hospitality of the people and their homes or hotels. Many Douloids made use of a 5-star pool at one resort, while others stayed there for a small break and used their facilities at a cheaper rate. We really have it too good on the ship despite what many think. I didn't actually make it to visit this resort, but I did do some random things...!

I got up at 4:45am one morning to walk with Jeff [USA], Josh [USA] Karl [UAE/AUS] and Sara [GER] to Independence Beach and swim/surf. It was random and was just a cool morning. The walk was about an hour and the rain was sufficient enough that we were saturated to the skin before we got to the beach. The water was incredibly warm and with the thunder & lightning storm around, provided a great wake up moment. Then we walked back and had breakfast at this ultra retro Disco Flights place. When i say flights, I mean there's a whopping great big plane in the middle of this 'hanger' which has been created into a resturant/night club. They made fantastic omlette and allowed us to sit in their comfy chairs despite being [still] so wet.

Another random thing was going swimming at about 10pm one night after work. It was REALLY nice!! After humid days, it was nice to feel cool but not cold!

Randomly, Rachel [USA]- roommate extrodinnaire, and I went for a walk about the town of Sihanoukville the day after we got there, and while out and having walked far enough down a road that lead to nowhere, we decided to turn back... as the rain began. Gentle and light to start with, it soon came down rather heavy. I was fine as I had a light jacket ontop of my shirt, but Rachel [who is ultra smart] was wearing a white top. not much underneath to protect her from the downpour that was about to happen. So either I give up my jacket or she reveals a little bit more of herself to the world. Lets go with the first choice. Then, hey, since we're at it, and since the rain just got harder, let us hide behind a building and then since I'm already wet - let me make a 'mock' weather report. I still laugh at the idea. No kidding though, the rain with the wind was like needles to your face. Ouchie-wah-wah.

Another random thing happened. We had a BookShop Shift 2 outting and to start it off, we had pizza, lovingly made by Geoff [NZ] and Joanne [SA]. Yummo. Taking one back to our cabin, Rachel & I were getting changed to do some extra ministry work at a HIV Hospital where we were cleaning and painting a hospital house so that it would be fit for patients to stay there [and not like it was before]. I grabbed some trousers from the Laundry and after pulling them on, sat down to put on my shoes. Barely a moment had passed after seating that I exclaimed "My, these pants are HOT!" only to stand up, turn and say "...or it could be the PIZZA I just sat on!!". Yes. I am clever, witty and wonderful and totally available to laugh at. Best thing? I let Rachel take a photo of the pizza stain on my butt for reference and memory sake.

To more... interesting news...

Challenges in Cambodia firstly was the weather, but followed closely behind that was the weather prevented people from visiting. Followed closely behind that was the prices of the things we sold. We had a deal that one ticket got one [then five] books in our deal deck, but in the actual bookshop, it was even too expensive for people to buy, and with communication barriers, confusing to shop. It was hard when you had to tell someone they didn't have enough for what they wanted. If its something small like a pen or wrist band, you could almost give it away [everything really was that cheap] but we couldn't do that incase it brought people who wanted to pocket more than they were paying for. I was challenged greatly by that.

After the 3rd day in Cambodia, I was moved to Deck for 2 weeks to help out while half of the Deckies were on training, and out of the few that remained, the BookShop needed 2 for Crowd Control [something that was actually more than no problem in the end]. So, because the Deckies were trading, I was the trade.

So I got to do many things as a Deckie. I worked in the Tanks - chipping, cleaning then concrete washing. I worked on the deck - scrubbing the deck, painting the exterior walls. I worked as the Bin Lady for the Rubbish Management one Lunch time and also was on Gangway security for one day as one of my friends hurt her ankle while working in the chain locker when we were coming back from anchor. Oh... that's another story.

The last day i worked in BookShop in Cambodia I was the head cashier. This meant I was the king pin incharge of the money for the shift, and because it was a Monday, our shift worked all day [which meant I sat at the same place for the WHOLE shift! BAH!]. Moving on...

After about 3 hours [so roughly 4pm Cambodian time] the nice day suddenly started raining. It was just a gentle, pleasant rain, keeping the 20 or so people who had visited inside. Then the rain changed and got a little harder. The Shift Leaders and random people from my shift then started closing the sides to protect the books from damage by the rain. This, usually is a good thing, but not this time.

The wind was a killer in Cambodia. One minute its normal rain, next minute its millions of needles piercing your skin. Well, on this day, at that point when the rain went from gentle to nasty, the wind went from calm to fierce, we found out that a typhoon had just arrived.

The Typhoon wasn't kind to us or our ship. Because it was a Monday, most of the ships company were off doing outtings and escaping the tininess of the ship for a day. When the Typhoon was slamming the ship into the berth and fenders [things that stop the ships destroying the jetty], we were trying to get everyone off the ship, into the crazy weather [sorry!!!] and we were preparing for emergency anchor, where we leave the port and sit in the open water in safety. There was about an hour between the announcement of us going out to anchor and us actually leaving to go to anchor. It was scary!! With so many people off the ship, especially the Deckies, what will they do - and what will we do?

We'll bring in Carola. She's young and fancy free, and amazing at picking up things quickly. First day of anchor we got to do tank work. Second day of anchor I got to help bring up the anchor and help with mooring stations [for a bit till they didn't need me]. Then as the days went on, Deck terms and items became familiar to me. I was blessed to work with 4 guys from Faroe Islands who were in Deck for as long as I was, and we had a cool bond because we all started at the same time and did many jobs together.

And the nicest thing was, I got to join the Deckies on their Deck Outting. That was amazing! We went Island hopping, something I've not done much of, but with about 30 other people, it makes the travel fun. Our first island was the furtherest from the mainland and we really felt like we were... away from all normality of life. We spent like 4 hours on this beach, swimming, snorkelling, sitting, and spitting seeds [it was a competition. When you are in a group with mostly guys, this is bound to happen]. The people who were hosting us for the day kindly cooked out meal for us, and can I say, of all the chicken and rice meals we've had onboard, theirs was SO tasty and SO amazing that most of us went back for seconds! The boy of the family hosting us was an amazing swimmer and he would go out deep, duck-dive down and come up with all sorts of critters and edible goodies. He managed [no one knows how] to pick up an ultra spikey sea urchin, and about 6-10 differently sized clams. The clams got cooked and most people tried them...

It was fun to be somewhere where ship rules were let off for a while, not to be disobedient but because swim wear allows it. Guys without their shirts on running wild up and or wrestling on the beach while girls with shoe-string tops and regular shorts [heaven forbid!] laughed and swam about made for a really nice day.

Then we jumped back into the 2 boats to the last stop of the day... another beach on another mostly deserted island. And what do the crazy people want to do? Jump off the sketchy jetty that was nearby. I haven't seen so many cut feel in my time!!!

And then we headed back. Tired from an exhausting but fun day of laughing and very much being spoilt. Only, most of us didn't realise the extent of our sunburns. Due to the Malaria tablets we take, majority of us burnt rather well, with many a "Cherry Red" being called out to all of us lobsters. Yet they were the ones remarking on how great our tans were after that. Yes, dead skin cells are attractive.

And then I was back in the BookShop. It was so nice to be back. I really missed working with my mates and having the jokes that we all knew and were familiar with. I also got to meet the new STEPers who had joined while I was in Deck. They are very cool, and every STEP group has had so many amazing people in them. Usually they consist of lots of 18-21 year olds, but the current one has older people and the maturity of the group is awesome and encouraging.

Fun times are to be had when you have a kiwi in the midst. One of the STEPers, Geoffrey ["Jiff"], is hillarious and... a full blooded "Noo Zullanda" whose lived in Australia. Nothing wrong with Kiwi's, but its fun to have the banter that goes on between Aussies and Kiwi's. Take the first slap Geoff gave. "Noo Zulland beet Orrstrayleah in the Roogbee". PSH. What ever. I'm foggy to remember if I have 'slapped' him back yet, but out chats are usually full of laughter and teasing each other. He's so opposite to me! He's the guy who LIKES to shop, and it actually drives me mad!! He's getting into the whole 'bartering' that goes on here and will stay for up to [likely longer] an hour and a half just to get a deal he's happy with. Holy MOLY! I would rather shoot myself in the foot than do that! He's a great mate, and I'll miss his blondeness when he's gone home to la-la Land.

Life is crazy but fun and going way too fast. The new preship is coming in like... 3 weeks and as we were the most recent newbies, we get to welcome them onboard. So, we've some planning to do, and coordination to make, but our idea should be hillariously fun!!!

I'll update more on ministry here in Bangkok later, but I thought I would just let you know what has been happening so far.

Flat out like a lizard running...

2009-06-29T07:23:00.000-07:00

To my lovely friends,

I have been slack and extremely busy and haven't kept the whole blog-thing as updated as I should've. I'm sorry! Forgive me? I hope you will!

The month of June has been NUTS! Birthdays almost EVERYDAY, Internet access being down because the Satellite was broken/down/broken, and having many special friends staying onboard [Cara - till 14th June, then Jessie, Emma and Michele from 13th-27th, then Liza and Mieke from the 20th-ish till the 4th] while doing many things i've never done before and having a blast in a city I was sure would scare my head off!

So - for those who get my newsletters, I am aiming to shoot one off any day now. But don't hold your breath [you might pass out].

But i'm still alive! And in 6 days we sail to Cambodia! Oh my goodness!

Pray for us! For the 5.5 day voyage [where i'll be working in the Engine Room - no injuries I hope!] and that we'll arrive safely in Sihanoukville, Cambodia.

Love you and love your stuff! Leave some comments - I like comments! :D

The 11th day of June.. one not to be forgotten

2009-06-22T01:59:00.001-07:00

I woke up on this day and had to be amazed. Why? It wasn't just because another day had begun, or that the birds were possibly chirping out side - only we can't hear them inside the ship. No. It was because I realised I live on a ship, I'm in Hong Kong and - its my birthday [well it was on the 11th anyway].

Then the excitement began. I would have to face the Mob [the Mob is the crazy Douloids I live with who - on someones birthday - make alot of noise]. I had barely stepped into the Dining Room when a roar of banging began [and when I say roar I am not exaggerating] as Douloids who were present in the Dining room began banging the tables before beginning to sing the Doulos "Happy Birthday"... it is like your usual birthday song, only with alot of "Woo!"'s involved. And everyone looks at you. And its just embarrassing.

So I smiled and thanked them and preceeded to get breakfast when I was 'presented' with a McDonalds bag [egg and bacon burger] from one of our STEPers [short termers onboard], and then after sitting for not even 2 minutes, was then presented with a plate full of French Toast from another STEPer. And then mobbed by others with hugs. Oh my LIFE!!!

Its actually quite hard to have a birthday onboard a ship with 300+ crew. Lots of people want to hug you and have a short chat but there are often people behind them who cut infront. Its a little awkward! Ha!

My big birthday was complete with a teaching session and working the late shift, but that was nice because it meant I got to chill in the afternoon for a couple of hours. The teaching session is for crowd control, dealing with situations onboard involving the general public, reporting hazardous things or suspect looking people and stowaway searching. Joy. But our speaker, Al White, was an entertaining man, full of random statements, a flying monkey intended to wake everyone up with its evil scream and complete with a few tattoos on his arms. Classy. He was great to listen to. And he was sly! He had a plan that involved me and I didn't know I was apart of...

About 3/4 way into the session he gets everyone to stand up, and after doing so he tells Gary, our veteran onboard, to 'take it away'. So Gary starts banging the table [sounding familiar, people?] and yes, begins another "Happy Birthday" sing-a-long! ACK! Embarrassing! Then the crazyness dies down and we get back to the REAL issue [dealing with frantic people who've lost a child onboard, dealing with drunks who wish to come onboard, dealing with people who act suspicious after leaving a room onboard]. Then Al says "We have one final thing left to do - Gary..." and no kidding, once again, Gary starts Happy Birthday. Oh-my-goodness!!!

So in seeing that the ship is full of crazy people at meal times, I was more than happy to get off the ship for Lunch - and I did so with my great mate, Jessica [Melb, AUS], who infact had her birthday on the 14th [there was SO many birthdays in June!!!]. We went to this cute little organic place called MIX and its SO delicious! We had a great time just chilling out and not seeing anyone else from the ship.

The MIX place is at a far distant end of the mall that we are attached to/next to here in Hong Kong. Infact, the place we are next to is called Harbour City, Tsim Tsa Tsui, Kowloon. And we are located at "Ocean Terminal" - so if you wish to come visit, please do!

Then Jess had to get back to work so I wandered through the mall just browsing in all the OVER expensive shops here. This mall is really for those who do the whole 'wad of cash in the pocket' type mafia type people thing. Not really but you must understand what I mean? You need a LOT of money to buy here! They see us walking through the mall with a hint of disgust at our attire as we look at their outfits and wonder what were they thinking. But its cool to walk past the stores when i've only heard of the lable. D&G. Versace. Calvin Klein. Yeah. WOW. So many...

Then I had to get ready for work and so... I did. And it was great. Work was just nice and I had birthday songs sung to me in different languages and I got hugged and smooched [no kidding! On the cheek of course!] and had my last position at Crane Deck also known as the Deal Deck, but it was SO quiet! We've really struggled with people visiting here in Hong Kong because of the H1N1 [Swine Flu] spreading around the world. Primary schools in Hong Kong have been closed for 2 weeks so far and during the day there are SO many people in the mall but not many want to visit the ship. Please pray for that!

So, as I was tying up the sides of the Crane Deck, one of the Port Workers popped his head up, signalling for me to come over. I thought "He probably just wants help taking the end of their gangway off our ship, I'll just have a look." So in no rush I walk to look over the railing to double check when I see James lying on the car-deck at the bottom of the stairs. I honestly thought "What is James doing? He's probably avoiding work and he's just lying there on the ground in protest!" and then my brain clicked in and I realised it wasn't James, it was Albi, but - what was he doing down this end of the ship, and, where are his glasses? Albi was the head cashier for the evening and should've been at the BookShop, not down on the cardeck.

A maze of thoughts rolled into my mind as I realised the Port Workers didn't call me over to help them, they called me over to help Albi. I got down to Albi to 'asses' the situation. A lot of the things I'd learnt when I was helping my Mum train to be an Ambulance officer came back into my mind, aswell as things I'd learnt from Basic Safety Training. Totally "Automatic Pilot" mode.

I asked Albi if he knew what happened, and some other basic questions like what day it is, what time is it, does he know where he is, what he was just doing etc. Then I asked where he hurt, and checked for bleeding, and when I realised he had a head injury, I asked if he could move his fingers and his toes/feet and checked his pulse. It was so surreal and still feels like I was doing some drama.

Then, I called our emergency number, slowly explaining - despite feeling like I was talking extremely too fast - what had happened, who was involved, where I am, and that we needed the Stretcher Party to come. Then I went back to Albi and just held his hand and talked to him. He was in and our of 'dream' state and 'current' state and he was okay [as much as you could be at that point] till the stretcher party was there and then he began to panic because every 5 minutes or so he would close his eyes and say "It's so strange... I feel so strange... like I'll wake up and this will all have been a dream" and then he would open his eyes and realise he was still there, but not remember how he got there and then we'd have to tell him again what happened and ask some of our questions again. It was such a bizarre thing. I've not ever seen someone have an injury to their head where they honestly cannot remember things.

Then we got him to the Clinic and I was told to get some things for going to the Hospital. To Hospital? Its my birthday! But of course I wasn't thinking of that. I guess I needed to go because I was the first to get to Albi but also because I was the one who was with him after he fell, something about keeping things familiar with him while he's confused. But i also had to find Albi's cabinmates to get some stuff for him. So I quickly [possibly ran a little bit] to find anyone in Albi's room, and because Prayer night was on, I managed to find one. I asked him without much details if he could get some things for Albi and then went to my room. My mind was buzzing on what to take and I was thankful that no one was there because I was a little freaking out. So i packed a shirt, my bible and notebook, pen, ID, and I think i may have packed a game or something to entertain myself with incase I stayed overnight and wanted to do something. Other things were thrown in like Albi's glasses and watch and then i went back to the clinic.

He was on the bed, still on the stretcher, and they were doing blood pressure tests and giving him oxygen. So many people were fussing over him and he was getting worked up so I [possibly pushed my way past people, but i'll say...] "made my way" to him and grabbed his hand and held it and just told him every thing i could to calm him. I told him about the accident, and where I found him, and that everything would be okay. He was crying [poor lad] and he was scared but for that time we just had to reassure him until the ambulance arrived.

And then it did. We got him out to the ambulance and... I get stopped and question by the police. Are you kidding? They need my Passport details so I hand my card over while organising the stuff to be taken to the hospital, and they ask me a couple of questions and I tell them what I can and then go about getting ready to leave in the Ambulance.

Side Note:
The police were actually more interested to know why in the span of 2 days, 2 people were seriously injured. On the 10th of June, one of our Engineer guys, Lukas [SWISS] was doing work on the lathe when the lathe snagged his item and propelled it at his head, fracturing his nose. He was SO lucky not to lose an eye, and he looked pretty beat up for a few days. The police were very interested to know what happened with his incident because he had alot of blood everywhere but all is good for him now.

On the way to the ambulance, Albi was feeling unwell, and despite our effort to ask the Ambulance officers for a sick bag [complete with visual explanation to help them understand], poor Albi threw up. Wearing a neck brace makes it a little harder becaues there is a 'platform' to 'hurl' over. Poor Albi.

We made it to the Emergency Department where Albi went through a couple of examinations and had an X-ray an CT Scan performed, and it seemed that everytime he got moved, Albi got sick. His 'family' from the ship arrived to see him and that was nice for him but the girls who came were emotional and I was more keen for them to leave or atleast keep distance so they wouldn't stress him out and keep fussing over him, but in the end, he slept through most of it.

By 1am Albi's visitors left leaving just me and Silja [SWISS] - the nurse who came with Albi to the hospital from the ship. We were waiting to hear the results of the CT-Scan. Albi's Xray showed nothing but his CT Scan [which arrived at about 2:15am] showed a fracture and some bleeding. We couldn't confirm at the time but I contacted Yi-An [Adelaide, AUST] - our ships doctor, and he spoke to the On-duty doctor in all that fancy doctor talk. We made Albi comfortable and reassured him someone would visit the next day, then we had to leave.

We went back to the ship and called Albi's parents in Germany and let them know what happened. Then Yi-An, Silja and I were given permission to get Macca's and have a small break from the evening. Then I ended up sitting on the Quay-side till about 5am in a bit of a blah-state. I got perhaps an hour sleep and then needed to be up at 7:30am.

To let you know, Albi is doing fine. His results from the tests done on the 12th showed he had 2 fractures at the back of his skull and a bleed at the front of his brain. He was moved to Intensive Care for about 2 days before going back to a regular ward till the [not sure exactly] last Friday [25th June?]. It was so nice to have him back. He is still under observation and he may fly home but for now, he is as healthy as he can be. He had visitors for almost everyday he was in hospital, and now a guy that many people knew only by name is quite known by the whole ships community.

Happy Birthday to me...

Watch... and be challenged about your life

2009-05-25T04:53:00.000-07:00

Imagine This... Views from abroad -- onboard

2009-05-24T21:05:00.000-07:00

Hualien Day Out - Taroko National Park

2009-05-22T20:10:00.000-07:00

It all began at 9:14am Sunday morning... in Hualien.

But before that, it actually all began a week before hand, on the Sunday night. If you haven't caught up on the goss, I kindly headbutted some steel in one of our holds that we store books in, and this was the day after. I hadn't been feeling up for conversation at all that day, and during my devotions I shared with my shift [SHIFT 2! YEAH!] that we should approach the day renewed, leaving behind our troubles and our burdens to focus not upon ourselves but on the people we meet. For good conversation to happen, we can't be thinking of the things that are bothering us, for we'll only go into the short but vital conversations already with an attitude.

I didn't expect my own words to impact me as much as they did, for after dinner that evening, I sat with one volunteer who expressed how much joy he sees within me - something I was amazed at not because of what he said, but because I didn't think I had been very joyful that day at all. So that got me thinking, and when I went to my next position which was at the Deal Deck, Amy called out my name. How she knew my name I have no idea. But she came up and was the most encouraging person to me. She said when she saw me the previous evening with the visitors and how I interacted with them, that I had a personal touch to my attention towards them, especially the younger ones. She was so blown away that a stranger would be like that. I was blown away that a stranger would boldly tell me this!

It really made me think

Myself and two of my random mates Riana [South Africa] and Batmunkh [Mongolia] were invited by one of the ladies working in the Christian Bookshop stand onboard to a day's outing around Hualien. Seeing as we'd mostly all looked at the massive mountains and hand't yet gone to visit them, all of us were pretty awesomely excited to have this opportunity. The plan was that she would pick us up from the ship at 9:15am Sunday Morning and take us out all day...

So here we were standing on the ship at 9:14am anticipating her late arrival when, scarily, at 9:15am to the DOT she arrived. We all bundle into her little red car and she turns and hands out some Taroko Gorge National Park flyers [in english for us and Mongol for Batman], then informs us that she needs to make 2 shorts stops before we are on our way, the first is to a shop.

In Taiwan, parking seems casual and easy enough - if you need to pull up infront of a place and the parking has been taken up, just park next to the cars already parked there. Of course to us, that actually blocks people in and I would anticipate some sirens firing up or an inspector slapping you with a big hefty fine. But this is normal. People park wherever they want, though they are more eager to move if you suddenly arrive to your blocked car - so that is nice.

So we sat awkwardly in the car, engine still running, next to other cars while Amy [lovely Amy] dashes into a shop to get some goodies. Goodies...ahh... Then we drive to her place, so she can get some protection from the sun - those sleeves things that Asian people are fashionable for because they actually don't want to be darkened by the sun, unlike most of us Australians who don't say no to a bit of colour. She also brought a massive hat and umbrella - which she never put fully up [so it would always slowly fall down and sit more on her head than anything].

When she had collected her stuff from her house, she asked us if we had tasted the drinks she had brought. We just assumed they were for up at Taroko, so we didn't touch it. Plus we were too busy laughing and being all giggly [mostly Batman]. So she turns on us with eager eyes as we all reach for a cup. Taking the first sip in I... screwed my face up in disgust! The flavour!! Ack! It tasted like medicine - the one you got as a kid that tasted so horrible you wished you weren't sick to have to have it. Ack! And I felt so bad! I tried so hard to hold the face and show that despite the taste, it wasn't so bad, but the next two following produced the same reaction. And not just from me, Riana kept doing a gag-reflex reaction and Batman's face would screw up followed but an outburst of "That's crap!". Needless to say, we all laughed quite a bit about this while we were driving to the National Park, kindly slipping the cups back into the bag so we could pretend to forget about them.

So while driving [and still laughing about the drinks and how rude Batman was], we started our way into Taroko. My goodness. I mentioned this in an earlier post but Taroko National Park is simply amazingly beautiful. The whole time of driving had us all leaning our heads on the windows to get a better view. With many tunnels to drive through, they only really existed to get us more excited for what we would see out the other side.

Our first stop was at the Jiucyudong [Tunnel of Nine Trails] where we donned hard hats and strolled down along the cliffs where you can hear and see the water rush over the boulders and rocks down below, through the tunnels hand carved into the mountain, gaze up at the gorge face that towers over you and see the massively huge moths flutter around. It was beautiful.

Jumping back into the car we drove to Yanzikhou [Swallow Grotto] where we strolled the whole length down, taking in the amazing scenery. Batmunkh took this opportunity to do the manly thing and walk off the 'beaten track' [its paved haha] and climb down the embankment to have a photo or two on this perched rock. He took pictures and Riana took pictures of him. Then as we continued, she continued to freak out as the railings were literally 'on the edge' of the cliff and walking path, and everytime Batmunkh and I would lean over them to see how far down it was etc, she would flip out. Haha. Sorry Riana. But it was funny. She was brave. While walking down, we saw our host Amy, who didn't see us approach her so she began to drive off. Luckily, we stand out being foriegn.

We had a banana break when Amy drove us down further and showed us the Indian Chief in the rock. None of us could see it. She took a photo and showed us and then we could see it, though, my question to her was to ask why there is an Indian Chief in the wall - did Indians ever live there? No. But hey, its a tourist thing, the tourists love it.

Then we had lunch at the Toroko Gorge National Park Information Center, which is rather beautiful and well informed. The greatest thing about the centre is that from a distance, you can't tell its there. It in no way spoils the beauty of the place, not at all an eyesore that sticks out like a sore thumb. I was impressed. Here we had lunch and desert provided for by the lovely Amy. We also managed to skull the drinks we'd been given when Amy would go off to the toilet. We could've easily said that we really didn't like them, but we were told not to refuse what we'd been offered when hosted by others. So since the taste wasn't exactly to our liking, trying to drink them as fast as we could brought out several fits of laughter, which only confused Amy i'm sure. We are so thankful for her hospitality. She really gave us a sample of what Hualien food is like and we really appreciate that [though we know now what not to order!].

After an hour or so of chilling at the Centre, we made our way to the Shakadang Trail. At first, you only on a bridge, but then you go down what seems to be a million stairs [all my stair training onboard the Doulos helped this be no problem at all] and before you lies a very old looking path, etched into the side of the cliff [where even I had to duck sometimes, so think of a 6ft Mongolian having to walk along here]. I felt so at peace here. Many people were also on the path, but all were busier taking in the beauty of the crystal-clear blue-green waters, exotic foliage and sweet serenity to disturb it for others. Unless your a bike-riding worker riding along it. We walked and the path wound up, around, over and through amazing places, always following the gorge river. Amy stopped at one point where we saw people down by the water, some swimming, and when we were all there, she told us that despite this place being beautiful, there was too many people, and she knew a better spot. After a couple of bends in the road, we were clambouring down the embankment, over the rocky dry river bed, boulder-hopped over the river and ended up on the other side. We were in the shadow of the mountain so it was very cool, and we had an amazing view - with no people invited. When the images get put up from Batmunkh and Riana, I'll share some with you...

After an hour or so of just talking and spending time together, throwing rocks into the water and taking photos, we made our way to the end of the trail and then back to the car. We then drove into the heart of Hualien, [some of us having sleeps in the car], before going to a really cool discount centre. After a browse and a purchase of some goodies for back on the ship, we headed further into the heart of Hualien and to Amy's friends resturant: Korean food. Now if you have heard of Kimchi, you will know that there is some spice involved. But I picked a delicious meal consisting of the freshest lettuce I've seen in months [sorry Catering staff!], stir fried marinated steak [sorry Catering staff! Again!] and a fabulous satay sauce. Can i just say, the others were eye balling my meal. It was delux!

Then the day was over. Amy needed to go home, and we were so glad to be back on the ship for we were quite literally worn out. I felt such an over flow of refreshment from the day off the ship, from the time in nature, in the wild slightly touched park, with friends who always make me laugh - even if i'm annoyed with them! - and mostly from the hospitality of Amy, who was so willing to show us around.

Comings and Goings

2009-05-17T03:44:00.000-07:00

So, Keelung being our last port in Taiwan, we're soon to head somewhere new!!

"Where are you going next?" you say? Well, let me tell you...

After 2 weeks being open to the public followed by 1 week of rest for the majority of the ships company [known as Sabbath week: 28th May -3rd June] we will sail for 2 days [and 1 hour] to Hong Kong. If you saw my previous map of Taiwan, you would note I made a slight boo-boo and put Keelung just a little bit south of where it should be - oops!

We are only open for 2 weeks in Keelung, so that is 2 weeks of intense craziness. The weekdays will likely be quiet and as of this week I'm working the evening shifts. Did I mention that I'm no longer in my old shift? No, now I'm in what we are calling "Shift 3" - Shifts 1 & 2 have now changed together to create Shifts 3 & 6. Yeah, don't know why it couldn't be Shifts 3 & 4 but the boss said we now have Shifts 3 & 6. Ha.

Want to know what craziness I'm talking about? Today, Sunday, we had over 4,000 people in 3 hours. THAT is a lot of people! Thankfully, I was off, but next weekend I will have the pleasure of doing that in our shift!

SO - that is where I am going... for you to know!

Hualien, Taiwan

2009-05-17T03:16:00.000-07:00

Have you ever pictured a place where mountains reach up to the sky, green and fully of life and that seem to roll unendlessly on one side of you while an ocean of aqua blue sea and white sand greet you on the other? If not, picture that now. You have just pictured Hualien, Taiwan.

The greatest and most breath taking image I have of Hualien is us slowly getting closer to shore after our 10 hour voyage from Kaohsiung, Taiwan, and being greeted by mountains that go so high the clouds block the view of the top. And there isn't just one mountain, there is a whole country of mountains.

We were so blessed to have such a calm voyage. We departed Hualien at about 4pm Tuesday afternoon and arrived at about 9am Thursday morning. The voyage wasn't long but it kept many people in bed due to us sailing from the South China Seas into the Pacific Ocean. The South China Seas are amazingly rough!!!

Then we see her; Hualien County. No matter where we looked, mountains surrounded us. There was a coolness in the air as the overcast weather reminded us that we are travelling north. It's kinda weird, but for Taiwan, we've been chasing Spring, arriving in a port to experience the lovely cool weather then after a few days, the heat turns up. So strange considering that I come from Australia - currently sneaking up to Winter. But they did say, we' basically have Summer for atleast a year onboard the big MV Doulos.

As you can see from my picture above, Taiwan is not big. On the west coast is where most people live - its flat there. Kaohsiung lives on the edge of suburbia in a sence. Then we sailed around the Hualien, where not as many people live. The mountains fence around Hualien and really help create the calm atmosphere. Then we sailed north, to Keelung. If you picture Fremantle, Keelung is alot like that. Keelung is like the port of Taipei, like Fremantle is the port of Perth. All through the middle of the country is mountains. I was so blessed to be able to go to Taroko National Park - the main attraction for Hualien...

Manilla Feeding Ministry...

2009-04-26T22:21:00.001-07:00

Manilla: Philippines

The time is 5am. I'm awake, but I don't know why, I am still half an hour early for my alarm to go off. I stare at the bed above me and I listen to the rain splatter on my port hole and the side of the ship. All is peaceful in my room. All are sleeping. No one is really ready for the day to start.

I'd spent the week leading up to this day trying to prepare myself for what I was going to experience, but how can you. You can't imagine what it will be like for any experience, especially when you have yet to experience it yet. But I had heard from others and their experiences, so I had time to brace myself to expect to be shocked and moved and... challenged.

Suddenly my early morning day-dreaming is shattered by the piercing noise of our cabin phone. Who could possibly be ringing? No one in the room needs to be up for atleast an hour for work, so why is the phone ringing? [seriously, this was what ran through my mind]. I get up - the first to comprehend the phone is really ringing. Its my team leader, Judith. She's ringing because our planned outting this morning had been given the wrong time on it; we were told 5:45am for pick up but it was infact a 4:45am pick up instead. Quick brain, start working. Clothes. Shoes. Stuff...

I sleepily make my way to meet the others, suddenly alert to the tiredness that was following me. We wait 10 minutes for everyone to get together but some were slower at waking up than others. We walk outside, and carefully down the gangway. The early morning rain had been heavier than I had thought - big deep puddles lined our pathway to the vans, assisting in waking a few of us up quicker because of the shock of cold, wet feet.

Driving to the little church, most slept in the vans on the way there. I couldn't, my mind was still trying to prepare myself that I was awake and about to see something that will likely affect me for a long time. Plus, its not easy to sleep if your not overly confident in your drivers abilities to drive in a place like the Philippines - where it seems that anyone who is tall enough to see over the dashboard can drive, and at whatever speed and in whatever lane they choose. Maybe that's not exactly true. Maybe you have great confidence in your driver [because you know them] and have zero confidence in everyone else on the road. That is likely it...

After 10 or 15 minutes of driving, we arrive at the church and are quickly shuffled up the 3 floors to meet with everyone and split up into groups. 2 Douloids [people from the Doulos] and 2 volunteers from the church make up every team. We pray that the small ministry we are about to perform is received well and that we will make an impact into someones life. When we are armed with one small bag of bread, 2 large bottles of warm milk and some cups, we head out. Following our guides, we zig-zag the streets, cars, and people making ourway to our destination.

At first the buildings we pass are large houses with little gardens and courtyards. Gradually [but at a quick pace] they soon shrink, lose the gardens and the living space and become small, crowded boxes fitting into any space that can be found. People living ontop of people. Animals roaming freely on the streets. Children, which were few before, now seemingly come in packs of 20 or more. The streets are getting crowded with trucks and vans, more so with motorbikes and scooters, creating a flood that makes it difficult to follow the ones leading. Then theres the smell. You can't put your finger on what it is, but its not one that makes a pleasant aroma. Sour, putrid and nasty.

You can see at the end of the road ahead a swarm of people and vehicles. We break out the end of the street onto a big open area full of people and mini-stalls. We follow our leaders as they make their way through the slush on the ground; slush made up of food and waste and last nights rain, blended together by previous peoples feet and vehicles driving over it.

We walk to one of the 'undercover' areas where I see - only as we draw closer - a mass of people are sleeping on the ground. They are lying on cardboard or some sort of cloth or nothing. Children sleepilly walk towards us dressed, half-dressed, dressed in plastic bags or naked. Mothers wearily try and wake their children so they can get some milk and bread, but perhaps from lack of sleep, exhaustion or even previous 'sniffing' [paint or petrol] keeps them sleeping. Perhaps its best if they sleep instead.

We only give the milk and bread to the children because the church only has very small finances and until we arrived they could only afford to do it once a week. Because we were there though, we helped cover some of the costs so they could go up to three times a week during our month-long stay in Manilla. Pastor Larry, co-ordinator of the Feeding Ministry, was saved from the very ministry he runs, both physically and spiritually.

One particular moment that is strong in my memory was this fragile lady who came to get milk and bread for her [possibly] 6 month old child. We gave it to her and she went back to where she had been sleeping. As we were making our way to another area to give out milk and bread, I turned to see that same lady eating the bread and drinking the milk herself, her child sitting on the ground. My immediate reaction was to go over and take it from her and give to her child, but before I actually did anything, I had to think. There is a woman who is probably just as hungry as her child is, what right to I have to judge how she uses the very small bit of food we gave her...?

With my heart quite honestly feeling the blow of what I was witnessing, we walked to the 'centre' of the open area. While weaving between sleeping people, pausing every now and then to hand out more milk and bread, I looked around at the sight that fell before me. On one side there was a huge truck full of food scraps and trash being unloaded by a front end loader, the contents being casually dumped in the middle of the puddle and on the filth that is the ground, while people picked through it for things to eat. On the other, Jeepneys and bikes lined the side behind and around stalls, music blaring and people staring, while traffic weaved its way by. All through the middle where the stalls are, people were beginning to set up their day's sales while others slept.

How could this be? I felt helpless. Were we making a difference? Was the cup of milk and one bit of bread going to help? Would my bad translation of "Jesus loves you" into Filipino making sense? With so many children, how can we give to them all? What happens when we run out - will they get angry? Turns out, we go so early while most are still sleeping so that we can avoid the problems faced when those who have been 'sniffing' don't get what they want.

It was such a challenge to not allow myself to cry. When I looked at the face of an anorexic girl cutting up somewhat fresh food for the family to sell, I could feel the tears well, but knew that if I let go and lost it in the middle of that place, it would be more of an insult to them anyway. This is their life. To some of them, that was probably a good day. There was atleast some food being 'delivered', and perhaps they would make enough to eat. We saw one very old woman who was so thin and though our supplies were almost out, we gave her some milk too. Her eyes lit up when we handed it to her.

We continued on. I was walking with Tomas [Sweden] and many eyes would stare at him since he was tall, white skinned, and blonde. Both men and women shouted out possibly trash talk to us when we walked past, and I was grateful for the lack of understanding of the language to stay ignorant. Many homosexual men [dressed at their best as women] would stare at the guys as we walked past - it was hard not to stare at them back.

We'd finished what we could do and met up with the others to walk back. Some of the more awake children followed us around for a little while, trying to get more milk [which sometimes they succeeded in getting]. Some would hold your fingers as you walked. Some would shout rude comments. We just smiled and kept saying "Jesus Loves You". Maybe one day they would remember.

We walked back the way we came into this street market mall thing. I didn't really walk with the group because my mind was still where we'd just left. I felt like we just imposed ourselves into their life for a flitter of a moment [not even an hour] and then left. We turned and walked away. I felt like all these white people coming was like parading guests at a museum, passing with occasional glances to the 'things to see' section. I felt low. I felt stupid. I felt lost and confused.

More so, it was the biggest wake up I've had. In Australia, there is so much opportunity to get help from the Government, for accomodation or food, yet, none here. Poverty in Australia is nothing compared to what I had just witnessed, and that wasn't even the worst of it. I think I trully realised that we have SO much. I knew that even if you are on Government help, you have so much more than so many people in the world, and we still complain we don't get enough. I realised that we are so obsessed with ourselves and our happiness, even us Western Christians. "Don't focus on money" they say, yet, we spend everything we earn.

I struggled with what I had seen that day for a couple of weeks, and really only now have fully dealt with it - possibly because its not affecting me anymore. But I am glad for the experience. I am glad for the wake up call and I am glad that I could see it face to face.

Amazing Love

2009-04-10T20:09:00.000-07:00

Welcome to Easter...
What does it mean to you?
I just wanted to ask you that... because I like to know how many people actually know what Easter is, what it stands for, and if it means more than Chocolate Egg Hunts and Hot Cross Buns to you...

In other news, I met myself the other day. Freaky, but cool!!! I always wanted to know what it would be like to shake the hand of someone with the same name as me! Was a random moment, too. I was at the Cash Desks when I was paged to go to the Information Desk in the Bookshop, here in Kaohsiung, Taiwan. When I got closer to the Info desk, a couple stepped infront of me, stopping my journey, and the woman put her hand out and said,

"Are you Carola? Hello, my name is Carola, too!!!"

Turns out they are from Sweden or something, where my name is very common there, but as we just started getting into a conversation [because I actually thought I was paged to come and speak with them], I got paged to the Info Desk again, and had to leave the conversation, but how cool is that???

Oh, wait, I'm sure many people reading this have met 'themselves' before. You might not find it that cool! I find it very cool!

In other news, I'm the MC for a performance at a Mall today. Oh my! I am nervous, because I've only really MC'd childrens programs, but today I get to test the waters on open air BIG performances. Exciting and Scary. I'll have to share what happens with you when I come back!

And, I need some prayer! Infact, many people onboard do [all of us actually but for this selection of people in particular]. Many of us have some physical problems at the moment, and mostly are sprains and twists of our limbs. I gracefully mildly sprained my ankle, AGAIN, while out and about the other day. Others have sprained ankles, knees, wrists or other ailments! I'm fine and will heal soon, others have more long term damage that will take longer to heal. Most of us cannot stop work to rest like our Doctors would like, so healing is a little slower! So, if you can spare a moment, please pray for us!

Thanks so much for journey-ing with me. I really appreciate it [and value all the lovely emails or comments I get!].

I pray you are well this Easter, that you also remember the real reason why we celebrate this Weekend.

GB!

Carola

So much to say...

2009-04-06T05:46:00.000-07:00

I seriously have words in my mind in so many sentences and about so many things, but to co-ordinate that all together is proving not as easy as I'd intended.

Take Manilla for example. So far, I've talked about the Mall of Asia. Wow. Now isn't that just so facinating. But I saw so much, and some of it really broke my heart, and I guess I'm still processing that because when I go to write about it I feel so... lost. How do you put that into words? I write it too dramatically, then too basic, then without detail and then with just TOO much detail. Anyway, it will come, you just have to wait for my fingers to word it...

Then there's the voyage to Taiwan when I had a loss of something close to me [nothing serious, also something to be worded well for your reading 'entertainment'], and the past 3 days in Kaohsiung which have been incredibly challenging language wise aswell as a pure blessing work wise...

But I wanted you to know I am thinking of you... all of you. I miss home but I'm not homesick - I'm friend sick, but I'm not lacking in friends here either. I hope you understand what I mean.

The experience onboard is so much more intense than I had expected but I seem to have settled into a groove that is both satisfactory to my health as well as the ships life. I've been challenged materially and spiritually but I am most grateful for these not always pleasant experiences.

And, I should send some congratulations out...

To Chad & Hannah on the birth of little precious Caleb.... [Nanny & Poppy sent photos - AWWWW!!!!]

[Hello... God... Husband Check Please. Status? ETA of arrival? Good Specimen? Thanks God!]

To Wal & Heather... YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!! Wal's married! WEEOOH!!! And to Heather, which basically is just the most awesome thing next to Wal's family and God that Wal has received... I'm so excited to hear the big day arrived [and passed] so quickly!

To my fabulous Australian friends I've left home... I love you all. I miss you all. I hope you are all having a great day the day you read this... "Wo ai ni".... xxx

Of course to all my friends from afar... "Wo ai ni"... xxx I love you guys too....

Picture Perfect [?]

2009-03-18T23:08:00.001-07:00

*to explain*...
We had a fun night on our voyage to Manilla which we had to dress up how we imagine ourselves 20 years in the future.

I had nothing. Nil. Nada. So in the end I went as a "43 year old mid-life crisis patient [so, the blonde wig and hot red lips etc] with a robotic arm [I thought that would be cool]".

Hahahahahahahaha. I am weird

BookEx Shift 2!!!! This is what we look like at work. The yellow shirt is for a sponsor here in Manilla but we normally all wear maroon.

This was a photo taken just recently... we are one crazy bunch of randoms! I love them!!!

The Mall of Asia... and my favourite party trick.

2009-03-18T22:44:00.002-07:00

Random post - be prepared.

If you have ever been to Manilla, Philipines, then you have likely visited the Mall of Asia.
Oh - my - Goodness...
Its so stinking humungeous!!!!!!!!

Here's me, tough girl, cowering at the sight of this massive chunk of metal and glass. That is just not right. Its like a city in its own right, you could practically live there.

There's even an open air ice-skating rink. I don't skate [can't even wear flip-flops without falling over] but it was surely entertaining to watch other's who were. I laughed many times, but one memorable moment is seeing this girl reaching for the side of the rink and being too far away, who then [in what seemed like slow motion] falls flat on her face, not just in one smooth move, but has that whole head-bouncing thing happen. You think I'm horrible but I was thoroughly entertained...

You can buy cars in this mall... and I could very well go mad being there. The first time I went it was quiet and I was with Rachel [USA] and her friend-of-a-friend, Rhoda and they have a tendency to want to do that 'dawdle-shopping' - the one where you find yourself going into every store possible. Ack. That to me is as fun as running your nails down a blackboard. Its not torture all the time but I'm sure I'm more one of those shoppers who would rather go and buy what I exactly need, have a very quick browse and then leave the shopping. Others like to look longer, and to their advantage, they often find more bargains than I do.

Rachel and Rhoda really wanted to see this movie "The Diary of a Shopaholic" [or whatever its name is]. I flatly refused to see it, and since we left that day, we've only heard how funny it is. I should remember that usually the ones I judge as being stupid can often surprise me [or they aren't as stupid as I thought]. So we might go see that soon.

Onto the second part of the title - my party tricks.

I am SUCH A GOOBER!!!!

I've fallen over and poured more drinks [hot and cold] on myself than I have in the whole time I lived in Adelaide in just the short time I've been onboard from Bacolod to Manilla. What is going ON!!!!

I've slid gracefully down stairs, completely missed chairs, and walked into objects that were obvious a mile away. I've poured a full cup of hot Starbucks coffee on myself and splattered my friends when it also fell off the table, not to mention a full cup of COLD coke [bottomless, so it still got refilled when they saw that it was empty - hahahaah!] on myself - causing my face to shriek in disgust and embarrassment... and amazingly, the same 3 people have been at EVERY one of those situations. Perhaps I should stop spending so much time with them. Ha!

I think i've been tired, distracted [by life of course...haha] and not concentrating. And at the same time providing great entertainment for my pals... :)

Mind Over Matter...

2009-03-18T22:27:00.000-07:00

Good Morning!

That's a bit of an extended truth, its actually 1:30pm but I've only been out of bed for a short amount of time. This past week has provided many opportunities to avoid going to bed until really, really late.

Last week we received an early delivery of our shipment of books so for a few hours some of the BookEx staff were involved with placing them in some sort of order on the Quayside [area of 'jetty' next to the ship] ready for the Container day [yesterday].

I was rostered only on the day shift and other's the late shift. Some also were rostered the Container shift. My shift leader, Ruban [India] became very unwell yesterday during day shift and went to his cabin early to rest as he was also rostered on the Container shift, and being one of those stubborn male types, herefused to take the evening off and let someone else replace him.

Lucky I am also stubborn and with the help of our Assistant Manager, we managed to convince Ruban it would do him a great help if he rested the evening and day and do my shift tonight and I'll replace him on the Container shift. Now I finished day work at 5pm Manilla time, and others who also finished then who were rostered on the Container shift [which started at 9:45pm the same evening] had the chance to get a few hours sleep before hand. Because I didn't know if I was working or not, I had to just wait. So when 9pm came around, then I found out I WAS replacing Ruban and then had to get geared up for an evening of work.

It was really enjoyable, and at the same time, totally exhausting. I was given a 'ladies job' [grrr!!] of dealing with some unruly Handbags [psh!!!] and having to go through every single one on two big crates, it took a good 4[ish] hours. I had my pal Rachel [Virginia, USA] with me so we were doing some random singing to the random songs we had blaring out of the Sound System, making a few crazy song dedications to the BookEx staff [one of those had to be there moments, sorry!], but at the end of the day, just doing the jobs needing to be done.

So my Wednesday [yesterday], also known as Container Day, consisted of a 9 hour regular shift, 5 hours off [well, sorta] and then followed by another 6 hours that evening, crawling into bed at 4am.

And then being woken up by the girls in Section 6 [where I live] at 7am.

Boo-Hoo!!!

Ah... anyway... its all fun and games until someone gets smacked by a pillow... :)

So that's one story for you... if my brain kicks in I'll share a few more...

otherwise, goodnite my friends!

Bacolod...

2009-03-04T01:13:00.000-08:00

So we're currently sailing to Manilla, which is exciting!

Bacolod was A-MA-ZING! It was GORGEOUS and welcoming and what I would picture a place like the Philippines to be. We had our biggest visits in one port in Bacolod - 114,000 people came up the Book-Ex gangway. Saint Peter's Beard! We were only there for 18 days but it was a huge blessing to have that many people come along as we were thinking it was going to be a quiet port - how wrong we were!!

Bacolod is also the "City of Smiles"... and they aren't wrong. Smiling because they are stealing a photo of you, smiling because they have no idea what you are trying to say, smiling because they are just lovely people... it changed alot. But they smiled. And they made 'kissing' noises at us. That is to get your attention so don't be alarmed. They also will say "Yes!" by raising their eyebrows - something that takes a bit to get used to, and many of us onboard now do it [shame!]. They can hold a whole conversation by "kissing", pointing at something when they have your attention and then you acknowledge they wish to buy, they agree "yes!" with their eyebrows. Hillarious!

I got to visit Mumbukal - a resort [not for me!] that resides in the hills/mountains behind Bacolod. It takes about an hour and a half jeepney ride up to Mumbukal but its worth it. The scenery is beautiful, the little towns you pass are full of shops and people and are just beautiful, being out of the city is just beautiful and spending quality time with your friends is a plus! When we got up there and made it up to the first waterfall [after I gracefully stacked it on the way up - wrong footwear!] I was sitting on a rock by the pool with my legs in the water. Two girls were going up to the other falls and the guys decided to follow. I was getting up [can you see where this is going already?] to stand near the girls stuff and I totally slipped INTO the pool. Oh, Man! That was not desirable. The water was, because it was cool and lovely. But I wasn't intending on getting wet. I'm not sure if being half wet is worse than all wet, but for this conversation I had the pleasure of trialing that half wet is possibly worse.

I spent Bacolod on Day, then Late, then Day rotations in the BookEx. Each rotation is a week and you have a day off and a outing with a group of you within that time. Day shift is fine, long but work continues to flow. Late shift is really tiring. You are awake early, spend the day doing not alot, start work at 4:30pm and stick around till the BookEx closes to the public - THEN you have to clean up the mess [*cries!*] and when you have finally done that you have to go and 'pull' [collect the books sold that day] and then you put them in their rightful place in the shop, a final clean up and then you could go and sleep. It was hard! You're meant to get up early to do devotions but I couldn't get out of bed before 9:30pm. Anyway, that's my little spill. I've got it easy compared to many...

My first outing [called an E-day or Evangelism Day] was on a Saturday to the Alliance Baptist Church next to the SM Mall in the City [a 10 minute walk from the ship]. We were 6 of us going to do a program for 215 children from the ages of 3-12. The age range is huge because all the children are street kids and they open their doors on a Saturday to teach them things that could be taught in school. Now I worked at HYPE, with about 6 or so leaders and with about 24 children aged between 5-12, and that is HARD!!! But these 215 kids were SO well behaved, obeyed their teachers and sat so quietly that I was actually blown away! We did our two hour program where we had some games and some drama's showing God's love, and they were the most well behaved kids I've ever seen - especially in that number! And the best blessing was that I got to see many of the older kids when they visited onboard and got to know one of the Teachers, who used to be a street kid when she was young and was sponsored by an Australian. God is so amazing!

Many many things happened in Bacolod that I can't possibly share. I'd show you some photo's but they aren't mine - the Electricians tried to fix my camera but they said one of the cogs in the Lens had broken and its not mendable without being sent to the manufacturer and with everything postal being slow from the ship... yeah, no. But here's a picture of the smallest class of children from Alliance Baptist...

And here's a picture of my current home... enjoy!!!

Breathing...

2009-02-04T04:06:00.000-08:00

Greetings!

So, what a ride! I feel like I've been non-stop since I first left the ship, and its got days left before the speed-racer type journey will end.

Its been SO sticky! During my first week in Cebu and my first week of Lectures, getting-to-know-you games, sharing a bed [weird], and reciting dramas I spent every other allowed minute either watching the Sunrises, walking the streets of Cebu around our accomodation, or swimming in the pool. Swimming actually was what I did the most of. If I didn't have to sit and listen, I was jumping and splashing. I have made many new water-fight friends [actually, they're all guys too] and it made the transition into the group alot smoother.

Sunday just gone we joined the ship a week early [meaning many of my friends who are in the group we are replacing were still here]. For me it was a whirlwind experience and one that I was thrilled to be on. To see all the familiar faces again just made me overfill with joy. I am not really one for screaming [though I do admit that is a habit that has recently developed] but my excitement got the better of me and I did ALOT of screaming, mostly at the excitement of seeing people and as I saw each person some more excitement exploded.

And what a grand entrance I made. I seriously think I've been born with 2 left feet or feet with a mind of their own. Walking DOWN the first flight of stairs to the nortorious Section 6 where I am living [possibly for ever but as far as I know I could move on Saturday] - who knows - I get a side hug [the Pastor Hug - haha] from my friend Wileon and TOTALLY slip down the stairs. No damage done, just a very bruised butt which the entire experience entertained MANY [WHY WHY do I always do these things!]... anyway... it was a grand entrance like I said...

Otherwise on our first afternoon off, so Monday arvo, most of my PreShip went to the Mall... which is super mega huge. Not as big as the Manilla Mall which apparantly is the biggest in the Southern Hemisphere but we're not there yet. So this mall is massive and getting there was my provided my first experience riding a Jeepney and my first real experience of being a foreigner... my word I stick out like a sore thumb! I am really tall compared to Filipino people, and really white too, so I get stared at. But not as much as the 6ft Blonde Blue-eyed German who walked around there too!

Fun. And another weird thing, when being the foreigners in a massive mall, you quickly see your friends because they are 'freaky tall foreigners' too. Crazy!

Currently I am on the end of Day 2 of Basic Safety Training [BST], and I had my first exam tonight, I believe I did very well!

Could you please pray for the 54 of us [thats minus the 2 chilluns [[kids]] ] that we have energy to listen to our lectures, and to be energised about our teachings. 2 full days of only listening takes its toll on us and we're all very tired!

I pray that this finds you well!

Carola :)

Jetsetting...

2009-01-24T04:14:00.000-08:00

Hello Friends!

Just an brief update....

I'm sitting in the International Airport at Melbourne awaiting my 8 hour flight to Kuala Lumpa!!!!

This is SUCH a weird feeling. The entire lead up to this departure I have felt like I am substituting for someone else - and that I'm awaiting for their return to take over THIS role I'm filling - but they haven't come!! Which means that this is REALLY my journey! [Note: it always has been but - are you following?]

I've been PETRIFIED every step of the way - mainly because this is all very new to me. I had to pay excess baggage on the Adelaide to Melb flight [Whoopsie Daisy - 5 Kilos over!] and that was a bit of a sting [though not an unexpected one...]. So when coming to check in for the Malaysia Airline I was a bit concerned that they would bill me there too... Praise God that that didn't happen! [Snaps for Monty too!].

I was doing really well leading up to the "Leaving Home" flight - till I hugged Alex - *tears!!!*. And then Mozz... infact everyone I hugged got me teary. I know I'll see them again - its the time between where we have only few chats that makes it just a little sad - but I look forward to hearing MANY great things!!

Anyway enough about flights. While I'm waiting for time to pass before I go to my gate to... leave our amazing country Australia - here I am filling you in on whats going on! Lucky you!

PS - Question - How un-Australian is it to leave Australia on the Australia Day Long Weekend? I hope you forgive me - I've brought my flag along with me!!!!! I'll attempt show those crazy MV D people how we are just a random, fun, exciting bunch of people! But most importantly, I hope to help those who have no help... or hope. Thats what its all about isn't?

Soo I think I'm going to find a phone somewhere and make a call - otherwise I'll just chill with my music and prepare for the 8 hour bottom-numbing flight that hopefully I'll be able to sleep most of.

I miss all already - every one of you!

Please keep in contact!

My email will again be carola.bradford@gbaships.org and I'll LOVE all the emails you send - yes Mum, even about the clothes falling off the washing line. That WILL make my day!

Big e-Hugs all round!

Carola - the Missionary :)

Leaving... again...

2009-01-08T22:28:00.000-08:00

Hello funky people!

So - I'm not dead incase you thought so. Life is intense!! Since my last post I've spent time in the country where mobile phone's like mine don't have reception [not a bad thing!], internet is dial-up [extremely bad thing] and family is, well, family [a very wonderful thing]. I've also moved half of my bedroom to my Dad's [*sigh*], and begun packing the rest of my things ready for when my Champ of a Dad comes and collects the rest [really, he's a champ!].

Its been a struggle but I'm encouraged everyday! Things like VISA's and Flights have become slightly later in my organising than I had hoped but I don't have a doubt that they will be settled and organised before I really need them. I have every letter possible under the Sun ready to pass onto people so they know that -
A. I will be returning to Australia in 2 years time
B. that I am working volunteer on a ship, and leaving the Phillipines by this ship too and
C. that when I do return I'll be flown back from a distant land, somewhere...

This week occuring [so, the 5-9 Jan 2008] was my "Get everything significantly needing to be done, done" week. But that has only had the topped scraped away. I was utterly blessed to sleep from Wed-Fri. Okay, not so much. More like I got Gastro on Wednesday and have been sleeping and resting since. Don't know what Gastro is? Go here. I don't necessarily agree with Wiki but it is a source and it explains it well. Anyway, I forced myself to do stuff today despite not feeling flash, because unfortunately time is not standing still and with... 15 days left [no kidding!] I can't just do nothing. But, for all my "Mum's" out there [and my Mum in included in that too], I kept rehydrated and pretty much slept or rested for 2 days straight. I believe it was only a mild case...

SO... as previously mentioned... 15 days. I counted that today when a friend asked. That's how many days before I leave for Cebu. And then I arrive in Cebu the following day, and 2 weeks later I get back onto the ship. I honestly feel that the first few days onboard will feel like a holiday because I will then be able to stop running around like a chook with its head cut off! No more thinking if all the forms for OM have been done, what parts of my house still need to be packed up from my stuff, all the gov things I need to do before I go [like telling them I'm going], have I got everything, will I have everything, and will I have enough bull-dog clips to hold all my clothes up when I've lost more weight. That's not a joke. I was on for 3 months and lost a whopping 15kgs - which was likely aided by being sick in Albany for a week or so. But I lost weight before that. And it was SO annoying! Okay, its great too but losing weight means new[er] clothes!

And well... that's about it now! I'm off to collect results from the docs [just info for when I am away] and then hopefully rest before heading out to Pooraka Farm to talk to some lovely people about what I am about to do!

I hope you are blessed today. Its a lovely day, really! Enjoy it, because today only lasts 24 hours.

Carola

Run for your lives!! Commercialised Christmas is coming...

2008-12-16T22:30:00.000-08:00

I am really sucking at keeping this regularly up to date... but seriously, I've been B-U-S-Y!!! My brain feels like its about to explode out of my head there's that much going on inside it...

There are many things I need to consider AND do before I can even set off on this new journey. VISA needs to be applied for. Flights need to be booked. Luggage needs to be organised. House needs to be packed. Stuff needs to be stored. Picasso needs a new postal address. Medical needs to be done. Vaccinations need to be atleast started. Newsletter needs to be written [and sent out]. Rest of the support needs to be raised [event maybe?]. Car needs to be sold. Household items not being kept need to be sold. Australian Tax Office needs to know I'll be overseas for 2 years. So does Centerlink. So does Medicare. So do some of my family...

See - there is alot happening. This is a unique opportunity I have. Normally people have 4-6 months ahead from their Pre-Field Training course. It's only been 2 weeks since I was there. I had under 2 months to do all of this, and now its almost Christmas! Oh my. I hope people understand that there wont be wrapped gifts from me this year. I don't think I've done many gifts for Christmas in the past couple of years actually. Partly because its so expensive. Partly because I wouldn't have a clue what to get most people [because their gift is also too expensive]. Partly because Christmas is not about the gifts and how much money is spent on your decorations and festivities. Its Family. Its Friends. Its Jesus... He is the reason for the season!

And then from Christmas day, its a one month countdown. I will be wishing Mum a "Happy Birthday!" from Cebu in the Philippines. And I'll be wishing many many friends their birthday wishes, wedding congrats and baby booming news from all over the world! That is... amazing!

I feel like I'm unprepared to go. But alteast with it being so close I cant be slack - I have to do things before Christmas or they will never happen! I'm going to be gone before I know it and that is both scary and exciting. I was told recently that last week was probably going to be the last time I would see them before I go because they were going to be away on holidays until a few days after I leave. That made me realise that THIS is REALLY happening. I'm going to be saying goodbye to people! I'm going to be away during important times in their lives! But i am really praying that people will keep in contact with me and will let me know what is happening with them.

So - here's to another update. I'll have to work out how I'll be putting my newsletters on here so those of you not on the Email list can download them. I'm sure we'll work it out!

If i dont have the pleasure of seeing or speaking to you before, have a very blessed Christmas and a wonderful start to your new year! Stay safe when travelling, particularly on the roads to and from your holiday!

Cheerfully,
Carola xx

Having faith to trust and believe...

2008-11-20T00:33:00.000-08:00

I have a hard time dealing with things.

I have nothing in my control and that is something I don't deal with easily... I mean, I do... gosh... its hard to explain. What I mean is it's not easy to just accept things will happen when you need them/want them/require their assistance to turn up/etc. Its really not. Its not easy to feel like you've been changed, grown, pulled down a new direction - a direction that you thought was not where you would end up going - and despite all odds, still have faith to believe that it will happen. Faith to be patient that perhaps if it doesn't happen now that it might be soon, or later, or not at all, but still maintaining that faith.

It's just so hard! SO hard!!!

But it is VERY exciting! What is going to happen? Where will this take me? How will I be grown through this? Will my family stay excited about it when I've been gone for a while?

Unemployment and PFT Training

2008-11-18T04:31:00.000-08:00

Hey you funtastic people...

So this is a little update to let you know what I'm doing... or something.

I've been back home in Adelaide now officially for just over a week. That blows my mind to read that but its actually very true. One week yesterday. Life just seems to have stopped, that I'm still in July only with no job. But alas life has certainly continued - for all of us.

So we are here in November. This evening I spoke with the Elders of my church about my desire to go back to the MV Doulos. I kind of expected the response I got, which was totally and utterly behind me every step of the way, but its just nice to hear it from them. It was a full-on rush of blood to the brain... followed by a pause and then a distinct unwell feeling in my stomach.

How am I going to do this? How am i going to pay for this? How is this even possible and why am I not running away from this... at all?

This is probably all coming to head because I dont have something occupying my time during the day like a job would. And it also helps that before I can go back to the ship I have to go to Pre-Field Training - and that starts Monday. Thats right, Monday coming. No rest for the wicked - and Carola too it seems.

So - with the blessing of the Elders, I'm now here writing to you the latest in the dramatic saga that is my life just now. With some of the little money I have remaining I have paid for my flight to Melbourne for the 23rd of November, and I return to Adelaide on the 29th of November. The course, which covers a wide range of helpful and informative things like who OM is, raising support, presenting my vision, writing a prayer letter, giving a missions testimony, cross-cultural & team living and importantly - prayer, as well as participating in a Life Direction Workshop amongst other things... all this an more for the low low price of.... $... - well its plenty and I'm going to believe it will turn up before I need to leave on Sunday evening. Oh my goodness - what am I doing???

Humanly speaking I should be running away - screaming and heading for the hills. Yet, I'm still compelled to do this. I still believe this is where I'm meant to be going. I still believe this is the door that is opening and despite the circumstances and frail footings, I'm walking this path. God is bigger than absolutely EVERYTHING, so why shouldn't I believe He will come through? Sure, it might not be right now, but at somepoint, God's plan is going to work out - its just that I have faith to think it is now...

Please pray for me! This is bigger than me and I cannot possibly do it alone! I haven't been more excited and passionate and utterly scared of my choice in something like this before, and just thinking about it all scares me more! I am but a servant and I only want to do what my Master instructs - I just pray I'm listening correctly!

Please also pray for OM Australia - they have a problem on their hands - me! Okay, I'm not that big a problem but I certainly am giving their stress levels a good workout - mine too!

Well... here's to living by faith... it certainly keeps you on your toes...!!!

To hyphenate or to not hyphenate...

2008-11-02T01:40:00.000-07:00

[is that really how we spell the word 'hyphenate'...?]

Hyphenating. Why am I talking about this? Oh only because Lewis Franklin Bradford Scott possibly has a Hyphenated name... its true...

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?

Okay, to the beginning. Hello, my name is Carola and I am officially an Aunty!!!! My very first nephew popped out into the world today, November 2, at 5:34pm South Australian time to his mummy, Rachel Scott and to his daddy, Troy Bradford.

Doctors 'forecasted' the birth date to be October 26, but I thought they were out by a week [according to my background in medical... sciencey... stuff], so I said that the little bun would be baked by November 2... seriously this is not even a joke. I am not even laughing - THATS how weird it is...

I think I'll be known as Aunty Car-Car but according to my Dutch and South African friends from the ship, car-car means, ahm.... *whispers*... poo.

SO - as long as no one spreads that arounds too far [oh, EW!], and because kids can't say my name anyway, [usually Koala comes out and I'm not THAT fuzzy!], Car-Car is kind of a 'cool' name for an Aunty - that is till it becomes uncool and they think of something better... yeah....

In Perth

2008-11-02T01:32:00.000-07:00

Welcome to a series of micro-updates... updates to let you know what's happening but small enough I don't have to think about writing them... only because I'm using an internet connection which has limits - you know, monthly download usability limits. This has been a first for a long time!

So, sadly I was off the ship Tuesday 28th October at 3pm. Held the emotions together till everyone seemingly lost control of themselves, with people crying on the Quay-side [off the ship] and on the ship where does one look? And because my little brother sent me a text that morning telling me his *cough* girlfriend was in labour I think it helped keep the emotions under control by sheer excitement. So, emotions now flying everywhere, I was happy to shed a tear or twenty hundred and wave and yell out goodbyes to the ship. It was harder the further away the ship went but it was dealable. I still think the ship left me behind by accident...

Oh yeah, I'm here in Perth at the Bond residence [so mysterious] until Tomorrow night. My flight has changed to arrive in Adelaide @ 10:05pm. Tuesday morning I'll then drive over to the Eyre Peninsular to spend time with family...

Last Hours...

2008-10-27T17:22:00.000-07:00

Hey ya'll...

The hours are ticking by till my end of my time on the ship...

I just thought you would like to know that - :)

I'm excited to be leaving, but sad also at the same time, but more excited by the doors that could open following this experience - and particularly sharing my story with people...

Must stop procrastinating and get back to packing - and stuff....

All my love,
Carola

10 days...

2008-10-17T20:01:00.000-07:00

Whoa back nelly! Its the 18th today and in 10 days time I'll be watching the Doulos leave me behind. I'm going to be sad! But, I'm also very excited... about the big door that could be possibly opening before me. It kinda scares my socks off or freaks my head off the possibilities that could come from this experience but its just as exciting to see where this adventure will now lead.

But back to the original statement - 10 days left. I was originally told that I'd be leaving the ship on the 27th. Then a few weeks ago we were told we'd be leaving the ship on the 24th. NOW its been confirmed [only yesterday!] that we'll be leaving on the 28th - the day the ship leaves to head to East Timor.

This means that in just under 2 weeks I'll be back in South Australia. I land in Adelaide the evening of the 3rd, then possibly on the 5th I'll drive over to the Eyre Peninsular to meet my brothers first child. Oh my. I am a little anxious about that. Not so much because there's soon to be a new relative, but because I want that child to have the best in life and I want 'its' parents to be the best they can be - even if they aren't going to be together. Perhaps that is the part that is greatly affecting me the most - the unknown of the entire situation. But hopefully I can be a good influence into his or her life and to my bro's and his former girlfriends. I believe all will work out amazingly because I know my bro is going to be a good Dad - he's got alot to learn though and I think only now realities really settling in...

So I'll spend most of my time in Port Lincoln to be close to my brother and new family additions, but I'll also try and spend and evening at Mum's place and then at Dad's too. If only they all didn't spread out over 2.5 hours of driving, it might've been easier to see them all more and spend more time with them. I might even try and steal a day off from all of them and go to my Uncle's place in Coffin Bay and just chillax there for a day. Beauty.

And then around the 11th I'll be officially back in Adelaide. And then looking for a job [Oh No!]. Part of me would like to just ask my former job for a casual role till the end of the year... this will depend on the work they have and if they need the help. That also would be the cheat soloution. Other jobs could be to use the newly certified skills as Coffee Barista and work in a Cafe' till the end of the year... or if desperation reigns I'm sure I could get a job back at the Supermarket. So many thoughts and possibilities... and unknown too...

Well, my friend Emma [Brisbane] has arrived now so we're going to laze around the Fremantle area and have lunch in the park on this fine day before we both start work this evening.

I hope your day is just - delightful...!

Carola xxx

Update! Get your Update...!

2008-10-13T23:13:00.000-07:00

[This post was written on Saturday the 4th of October - very shortly after we made berth in Albany...]

Wow, I am totally being blown away being on the ship right now. Well, that is an ironic statement, the only thing literally being blown away is [cold + nose = something nasty].
Yeah, as of today I’ve got a cold, and feel like trash. BUT I’ve probably had the most fun this entire trip thus far in the recent week of sailing we’ve just had.

Because our duration of the voyage from Geelong to Albany was for 5.5 days, taking into consideration that the previous two voyages of 2 or so days I’ve not had to work, this voyage I was pretty keen to actually do something. Even for 2 days I felt like I was wasting time and allowing others to work overtime while I fished off the back of the ship. So when our Barista team leader said in a saddened tone that we’d actually have to work, I wasn’t shy about hiding my excitement. Then she asked me if I had anywhere I’d like to actually work – and immediately I said “Deckie!” – because the idea of scrubbing the deck surprisingly appealed to me.

The first day of the voyage all Barista’s were given the day off – which was pretty groovy – though we also found out that the Deckies actually didn’t want us – or perhaps it was that they didn’t need us. Bam. Slam that one in the face. There’s a no-go zone for me. So slightly saddened I had a chat with a few people and it was suggested that I ask an Engineer about working in the Engine – cool but, how?

Well, God certainly provided opportunities because while walking through the Mess [the room that everyone whose a grommet can eat so they don’t get all the civilised chairs dirty] I passed 2 Engineers having a break – and after walking straight past them, turned back, picked up my courage off the floor and asked what they thought about me working in the Engine. “Come back at 8:50am before devotions and speak with the chief engineer”… al-righty-then!

To be honest I was actually really positive they would say I couldn’t do anything – but amazingly I got to join the team. The work wasn’t anything technical but it was work that helped out the Engine Department and it was good quality dirty work. No kidding, I went in the first day relatively clean and came out in cover-alls and boots covered head to toe with engine dust, oil grimey sludgey stuff [though this was helped by having a oily grimey sludgey fight while down by the PST tank [basically the place the sludge of the engine lands]], paint and rust converter – pretty much anything I touched ended up on me.

The jobs we’re the most mind boggling but they were really fun! First job – hack rust off pipes and metal, clean up, apply rust converter, primer, and then a finish coat. Twist was that you literally had to twist yourself around poles in order to get to all spots. 3 guys and a girl going hard at rust and painting was pretty hilarious. Job done, moved onto the adjoining room and put primer on the converter that the boys had previously put on. Can I just say B-E-A-YouTIFUL!

Jobs following this generally consisted of cleaning floors [that have a time span of 2 minutes being clean before a big ugly oily foot print was planted in the middle of it], cleaning sludge [as previously mentioned], painting tanks and generators, cleaning the tunnel where the propeller blade shaft resides [surreal because it was the coolest place on the ship and the closest to the ocean – trippy!], cleaning above the control area’s panels [so dirty and black!], vaccuming [psh!] but seriously my favourite job was wire brushing nuts and bolts with the electric brush. Oh my goodness I came out so black and with so many cuts from getting my fingers a little too close to the brush on too many occasions – but the joy I felt when the boys were impressed with how well I did with all my work – that was just another highlight.

Hah – and the first day I was in Engine I walked into the Mess with my lunch and I was thoroughly embarrassed by this LOUD thunderous roar from the Deckies and Engineers who were – cheering? – at me… ha! I haven’t been that red for a long time! [Insert that I got sunburnt a couple of days later and I was equally as burnt then too]. I enjoyed all the work I did in the Engine Department, enjoyed sitting in on the Department devotions with the Electricians and Plumbers, laughing at other people… don’t get me wrong, I love being a Barista but I felt like I had a purpose even if it was minor. I got nickname “Mathias” because that’s whose coveralls I was wearing, and just spent so much time laughing.

Then the morning we arrive into Albany [oh my gosh! Pretty!] after a good 4 days of tiring work, it starts pouring down with rain via this nasty storm that decided to sit on top of Albany. Then I suddenly felt overcome with exhaustion and my body just ached. As the day went on I just kept going down hill and by 11:30am I was back in bed for 2 hours. I got up to go to work to set up the Café only to have the rain and the wind prevent this. I sat in the dining room with Gerard [Netherlands] who also has a cold and we stared out the windows. By 4pm it was clear we weren’t going to be doing anything outside for a good 2 hours so I managed to crawl back into bed to steal a few more hours sleep. And I’ve pretty much been here ever since. Totally knackered.

Albany day one hasn’t proved to be a big hit, but praying that Sunday will be glorious weather and that many people will take the opportunity to visit the ship while its here for 4 more days. Pray that I also can shake this cold just as fast as it came upon me. It really sucks to be so tired, I cant talk very much because my throat is really sore and my body is in a lot of pain. I will hopefully drag my sorry butt upstairs and post this onto my blog this evening before crawling back to bed and sleeping – again…

19 days to go…

Oh my giddy aunt…

Xxx

PS – on that note about sending this blog post tonight – I just saw an email that said that the time we’re in Albany we’ve no connection to out Satellite – and we’re using another one which is really low – so not incoming International Calls and no internet for now…The joys of living on a ship that moves around the world – hahahah!

PS - to get you a bit more up-to-date, pretty much the entire time we were in Albany -so, all 5 days, I was really really sick with this flu that's flying around the ship. I spent 5 days intensley ill and ate only 3 pieces of bread and a small amount of soup [a cup one day and a cup another]. I lost alot of water which wasn't pleasant and combined with the weight I've lost in the whole duration of my trip, ended up with none of my clothes actually fitting me anymore. Bah! One bad thing about loosing weight is you have to have clothes to keep up with it. And my first real shift after getting sick I sat in the sun in a jacket to soak up some Vitamin D and managed to soak up just a little too much and ended up with a slight case of heat stroke on top of that. Then the voyage to Fremantle we left at 8pm on a Wednesday night and arrived about 9am the Friday following. We had about 20 minutes watching a whale jumping around early afternoon on the Thursday and a pod of whales jumping around right on dusk that evening.

And now we're in Freo and I had the pleasure of seeing the Fraser's the day we arrived [we had to talk through the fence because we still weren't cleared to leave yet] and then the next day had breaky with Dave, Shae & Mia... that was soooo nice!

So - thats this small update! Its not very busy at work today and I have a huge urge to go swimming - at 4pm!

Love you all!

I am sailing...

2008-10-01T06:46:00.001-07:00

Hey everyone! So sorry that the previous entry was really - abrupt. I'll try and fill in the spaces later. Its been really busy on the ship, not just because we've just left Geelong sailing to Albany, but the weather in Geelong wasn't as pleasant as we'd hoped. The day's often we're sunny but had some strong wind, causing us to close or relocate [certainly not my favourite choice of solution but for the information about the forcasts we had, we had no choice].

Some highlights in the past week or so...

Getting to know the new 'Pre-Ship' has been a hoot - they are all nuts and its so nice to have fresh energy on the ship.
Seeing familiar faces [though not some from my home church I was expecting - sad!]
Being challenged with how I deal with situations of conflict [a highlight, i know!]
Getting to know people for who they really are and not the label I've put on them before I knew them
Oh - this should be number 1!! - but having a closer bond with God! I was challenged in the beginning and I put God on the back-berner but then realised that this was not something sensible for me to do and now I am trying to commit some time to God everyday!
Laughing - I love it! I have missed it in the past week with being really tired and just a little down but love having it back!
Fellowship with people: Simeon & Josephine [& David!], Luke & Rachel [& Winston!], Mandy, Hugh, the Follands and the Neohs... among many others.
Sailing - and the longest voyage so far... [read on for more details]

We're currently about halfway through the voyage, south of about Ceduna at the moment. Its been a very gentle voyage so far which has been tremendous though many - including the new Pre-Ship - are ill. I was allocated the Deck Department but they had too many people to train and who weren't sick so was told that this was no longer an option. I then asked some Engineers if they'd like some help - and so that's now where I'm working! I'm an un-official Engineer - woohoo! I get to wear big blue coveralls and get dirty from chipping at rust and then dirty again from painting with Rust Converter, Primer & Finishing paint. I'm very proud of the work the lads and I have done! AND - i get to hang out with the Engine guys - pretty cool! Its hot working in the Engine roome but its unique and different!

This has to been short because i'm totally bushwhacked and need sleep. Its amazing how when you do some physical work for 8 hours it makes so sleep so well at night! Don't get me wrong - I LOVE being a Barista - but its not a physically tiring job and I've been physically tired from not sleeping well for the past month or so. Thank God for voyages and for good work and beauty sleep...

Love you all - hope you're well! Have a blessedly FUNtastic day today/tomorrow...

xxx

Like sands through the hourglass, so is my life passing by...

2008-09-23T20:34:00.000-07:00

Argh! 5 weeks to go! What is this!

Time is flying so fast right now. I cannot believe there's only 5 weeks to go. That is so extreme. I cannot believe how many people I have met in the past 7 weeks who have impacted my life so much. I cannot believe what an experience I've had in just such a small amount of time. I cannot believe how many places I have been to that i've never been before. I just cannot believe I'm really here I guess...

In the past week-ish I've had more people come visit - which has been just so awesome! It's also been a little sad because everyone I've personally know who has visited me thus far have been people who used to go to my church who have now moved away. Its still really awesome to see them though!

Thursday Tamra came to visit both the Folland family and myself, which was just awesome! We had a right old time drinking coffee and having a good old fashioned chin wag for a couple of hours! I got to make her a coffee aswell which was super, and she really enjoyed it!

... ack... sorry... I totally have forgotten to finish this email - and now don't have anything to add to this so I'll just make a new one...

Reminising... again

2008-09-14T16:50:00.000-07:00

Okay the continued update.

The evening I returned back to the ship from my 'Overnight' I ended up going out with a couple of work friends to a really cool pub called 'The Argyle'. Now seriously, you don't even have to want to eat at the pub, just go for a look. It is set up in an old wine cellar and has very cool lights hanging from the ceiling and glass cabinets of objects also lit up... I could go on for hours.

Then, I got the special priviledge to watch a movie called "Welcome to the Sticks". This movie I recommend to EVERYONE! It's French, so there's subtitles, but its done so well and it's so random and you can believe me when I say that I was not the only one laughing through most of it. Fan-flaming-tastic!!!!

This now brings us to Monday, ah the 8th of September, the day before departure. Our Cap'n Ashley wanted to have a 'getting to know you' day out - also known as the BDO - Baristas Day Out. We had no idea where we were going which made it all exciting as we all made our way to the Info/lobby to meet. When we get there, Cap'n Ashley excitedly tells us that the manager of the Maritime Museum is going to let us in for free. Ah. Right. My first thoughts became,

"What kind of dude is Cap'n Ashley?? He wants to get to know us so he decides that taking us across to the other side of Darling Harbour to look a museum is a perfect idea... does he sleep with ships on his pj's too? This guy sure know's how to party - not!"

***Don't get me wrong, the museum I think would be cool... on a lazy Sunday afternoon when it's raining outside and stuff and things...

So were walking towards Darling Harbour central to the bridge to cross to the Maritime Museum, when Ashley walks down this boat ramp and I'm thinking "This dude is going to get a taxi across the harbour instead of walking over the bridge! Lame!" ....until this sweet sweet Sports Luxury Cruiser speed boat pulls into view heading to the boat ramp we just walked down.

No - way!

So - cheesy Cap'n Ashley is not so cheesy after all - infact he's quite a fun teaser and knows exactly how to party! We all jumped onboard for a few hours of speeding down the Sydney Harbour channels, eating delux dips and nibbles, fancy lunch and a nice glass or two, pulled into mini harbours and disembarked to walk around like up to 'The Gap', had running races about who would get back to certain spots first and just enjoyed the day.

That evening - I can't even remember what I did but I'm sure it was exciting...

Tuesday morning we were leaving Sydney by 9:30am, smooth sailing until we passed through 'the Heads'. Then - we had some awesome waves! Awesome for me, but many people were very sick from these awesome waves. Elliott [NZ] and I were down at one of our favourite fishing spots [right at the back of the ship] called the Aft Mooring Station and when the bow [front] of the ship was tilting down alot and the back of the ship was up a fair way in the air, as it was about to drop over the wave and back down again, Elliott and I would jump. AWESOME! Feels like your flying! But its just as awesome on the top levels of the ship too... love it!

The rough seas lasted most of the Tuesday, calming off considerably on the Wednesday - which was also awesome because we got to see a pod of 5 whales just cruising around next to us - and by Wednesday evening when we'd entered the Bass Straight, the seas were perfectly calm. Sitting on the bow of the ship right up the front-most spot is incredible - and even though its cheesy and most guests coming onto the ship attempt it on the Car Deck railing - you really have a desire to do the 'Titanic' pose... hhehehe! [by the way - I didn't do it :)].

Thursday midday-ish we started up the final leg of the sail to Geelong, arriving into the Geelong port at about 3pm to be greeted by an Army Band who gladly played a couple of songs to warm up the crowd.

This stop in Geelong is the most home-like port so far being smaller than Adelaide but very much a laid back big-country town. Brisbane brought us perfect weather and was right in posh-central so because there were resturants and cinemas, people were often coming onboard for a look. Sydney had terrible weather and only few nice days, but with no one walking near us because we were shut off from the public by large fences, we weren't very busy at all, but that did pick up on our last weekend. Geelong however has had the most people come onboard on our opening day, which is a huge blessing, especially as during the day has been blowy but the evenings have calmed right off.

HUGE exciting blessings have been that everyday so far I've had the priviledge of seeing someone I know. When we arrived, Simeon & Josephine Telfer [and little David] came onboard to visit the Follands - but was awesome to say hi to them and spend a little more time with them for the 2 days they stayed onboard.

Friday ended up being a very tearful day as P.Andy and Diedre came for a visit and spent about 5-ish hours with me both on the ship and off. We went out to have Mexican dinner [YUM!] and came back on the ship for a coffee, caught up with Yi-An and Yoke Mei, and then had a tearful farewell. Tearful because perhaps this would be the last time I'd see them for a fair while, and its going to be sad to go back to church and not see them there. I know where they are now is going to be most exciting and awesome and I'm so glad I did get that chance to catch up with them, especially to see photo's of Sarah's wedding - so BEAUTIFUL!

It was also extra exciting because it was the first of two of my best mates birthdays - today on September 12, its Happy Birthday Alex! I miss her so much and cannot wait to just talk randomness with her and her delightfully whack hubby, Tim, again [sorry to publicly say that, Alex! :)].

Saturday, Walburger and Heather popped down from Ballarat to spend a couple of hours, but I had to work at 4, so the hour-ish I got to spend with them was pretty awesome to catch up a little about whats happeneing with them.

Sunday I had an evening shift but the weather was so windy that it was uncertain if we would work. Our new recruits, Geelong Pre-Ship, also arrived today so it was a mixture of emotions from saying goodbye to so many people to welcoming the new recruits. Our welcome for the newbies was to stand on any available deck or Quayside and wave flags and scream and ya-hoo and make it all exciting for our newbies. Then I was halfway into eating my dinner when I got paged [which never happens!], and was told I had guest on the Quayside. Having no idea someone was coming I walked out to see James & Alexa Telfer standing there. If anyone reading knows Alexa, you know that when she's excited she gets a high-pitched squeal going. Weeooo!
I got to show them around the ship before handing them back to Simeon & Josephine to have a catch up with them, as the Geelong weather proved consistent and at 6pm we decided it would be calm enough to open for the evening [not like we had any customers]. James & Lex will come back next weekend to have a better catch up - which will rock!

Sunday was also extra exciting because it was the second of two of my best mates birthdays - September 14, its Happy Birthday Mozza! I also miss her dearly and extra miss her because shes just recently moved - but I hope her day was special and that she got my message of well-wishes! I can't wait to drop by and say hello to her wonderful self and to her lovely hubby, Pete, too!

Sorry for the length, but that now brings you up to date!

So ahm yeah! Must depart or i'll end up spending all day writing updates! Hope your well and I hope that life is being delightful to you at this time!

Hugs & Kisses... Carola

Reminising...

2008-09-12T20:25:00.000-07:00

Hi my beautiful readers! I'm so sorry for a delay in updates. When we were in Sydney we didn't have any land ADSL internet connection, which meant that only 7 computers were available with Satellite internet and they - were - sloooow....

Alot has been happening recently, which I'll try and fill you in on.

The weekend before we left Sydney, so the 5-7th of September, I went on a 2 night 'Overnight' to Bankstown Uniting Church. This church is located about an hour's drive from the City [in traffic] which provided a wonderful napping opportunity for a few of us in the group. Pastor Gaby is the new youth minister at this church, and since he's been there they went from having no kids to having about 20 - praise God.

The Uniting church here itself is very multicultural, with Gaby and his family originating from Lebanon while others spring from Asia, Tonga, Samoa, New Zealand, India - and so on. Its a beautiful church and very open to anyone joining - a great attitude any church should have.

We were picked up from the ship on the Friday about 2:30pm - in pouring rain! - which for me joyously continued till Sunday morning. For our plans however this halted a number of things that had been planned - but that meant other things got to be done instead.

We went to a Uniting Church Conference - which was... interesting - but also had alot of good things said in it. We also had the priviledge of 3 dancers from Tonga and Samoa performing various Bollywood style Indian dancing and then wrapped it all up with some cultural Tongan & Samoan dancing - including 'The Dummies Guide' version for 9 awkward conference attendees. I would be awkward too if some greased up well built Tongan guy was trying to teach me their dances... hahahaha!

Saturday I woke up after a restless sleep thanks to giant drops of water falling from the 8-storey UnitingCare facility landing heavily on the office tin roof where we were sleeping. We had breakfast at 9am in the church hall with Pastor Gaby and Keith, an elderly gentleman who attends the church. He told us in great detail how Sydney got settled, where the name Bankstown came from, and other information the others found interesting. Don't get me wrong I find it interesting but most of it I knew from basic History classes in school - particularly the colonisation of Sydney.

Then we were treated to lunch at - McDonalds [bleh!] before we headed off to look at all the other churches in the Parish. We were dropped back off at our office where I laid down to rest only to end up sleeping for about 3 hours [exhausted much?] and being woken about 10 minutes before we had to start the Youth Program for the evening - unprepared. Argh! In the end though, it all worked out really good [of course!]. I managed to sing solo, share my testimony, do a magic trick, perform in a drama and make some really cool friends from the church. All in an evenings work!

Then we had dinner - at 9:30pm! -with Pastor Gaby and his wife, Mary, and their son Kevin. I have to say, my meals are so routine on the ship - usually breakfast 7-7:50, Lunch 12-1 and dinner 5:30-6pm - so I was starving every time we'd get to a meal as it would be about 2-4 hours later than i'm used to!

Sunday morning - early breakfast [yay!], before being at church by 8:30am ready for a 9am start. Some beautiful Samoan's [I think] sang a lovely song for the congregation before we got up the front and introduced ourselves again. We performed another drama and our married couple, Alfonso [Switzerland] and Marli [Brazil] shared their joint testimony. Akhan [India] was our group leader and he did the message for the service. As a group I think we really connected well with each other and the church - especially the youth. Then we were invited to join Pastor Gaby and his family for lunch - even with it being Father's Day. It was a nice day and they are a lovely family. They were very warm and welcoming, they often spoke in Arabic or French so I spent most of the time talking with Kevin about music and things. They even invited me back to holiday or to help out at the church - nice.

This concludes the 'Overnight' update, I'll let you rest your eyes while I go down to Quayside and say goodbye to more friends who are leaving the ship. 70 in all will be gone by Sunday and Sunday evening we welcome the 71 new Pre-Shippers. Sad AND happy times...

The concrete heart...

2008-08-29T22:39:00.000-07:00

I am typically an observer. I tend to notice the small things others might not see. I also pay attention to the structure of abandoned worn down buildings or the messages of graffiti. I see the impact of discarded rubbish or even the joy on the face of a child with poor living conditions. But I don't just see it - I feel it.

Today I had my 3rd E-day - or Evangelism day for those playing at home. In the past 2 E-days I've only left the ship once, and that was to walk around the nearby park in Brisbane and promote the ship to the community for a couple of hours. This wasn't very successful because out of all the people we talked to, the first 2 groups had already been on the Doulos, the 3rd were going to the Doulos already, a big group of people playing sports were actually families from the Doulos so we obviously didn't promote to them, and the very few people we spoke to after that didn't want to know.

So when I got told I'd be going to hang with kids with one of our crewmember's parents, I was overjoyed! I've missed the chilluns from HYPE where I was part of the leadership, so the opportunity to spend time with kids really excited me! So a meeting was set up with the 4 people doing the E-day and our group leader, Samuel [Switzerland] was asking about some of the creative ministries things we could do. I had no idea. The other team members have been on the ship for a longer time, some for up to a year, and have done many E-days so the skits and drama's they've done were things they could discuss. We decided that since we were so unsure about what we'd be doing anyway, we'd just let God really work in us.

Our pickup came at midday today, and 5 [gained one teamie overnight] climbed aboard. It had been mentioned to us in our prayer meeting at 11am that the term 'kids' was quite - broad. Not so many kids, more people. And we were going to be with Aboriginals or Muslims. When we arrived, the original plan Stanley [crewmate's Dad] had apparantly come with an unexpected surprise - something else was already happening.

Then we were kinda just followed Stanley around - which is something I utterly hate doing because I feel like I'm not allowing things to happen while I'm only following someone around - but he introduced us to people, and we handed out some flyers, and then we walked...

We walked past falling down houses that have bricked up or boarded up windows and doors to prevent people from squatting there, but mainly to stop people having some place to go to 'shoot up'. We walked past fenced off stairs and areas covered in broken glass. This apparantly is what it looks like when its 'clean' too. We walked past houses that had a horrid stench coming out of them and people still live there because there's no where else for them to go. We talked to people and said hello despite their consumption of alcohol and cigarettes that have almost burnt down to their fingers.

I looked, and tried not to stare. I tried particularly not to stare at a man who was wearing women's clothes. I tried not to stare at people who perhaps once were big drug users and now the drugs have taken their affect on their body. I tried not to stare at the people who find their clothes in Villi's bins. I tried not to stare at the ground expecting to see needles, and tried harder not to search for them.

But then, lyying on the ground I see a piece of broken concrete from a set of stairs that used to exist. I'm not sure if it fell or was brought down by choice from someone, but everything had been taken away and the ground sealed up, 'clean' is what it was called despite the broken glass lying around this piece of tarred concrete. It facinated me [who know's why, I don't find concrete particularly facinating] and I walked over to it. Surprisingly it was a concrete 'heart'. A broken piece of concrete that had its shape like a heart. And I felt compelled to pick it up.

The thing is, the moment I had grabbed that piece of broken concrete, I saw the whole situation of the day differently. Sure, most of those people were probably in poverty by some sort of choice, a choice that they made to put drugs, alcohol, or another form of 'abuse' before themselves. Sure, most didn't know God and don't know the freedom a person like myself knows. But among their 'shattered glass' life, there is still going to be hope. It might also not come from themselves. It might be someone foreign, like my team mates and myself, who have a hope for these people with 'shattered glass' lives that one day the life they live can change. My crewmate's parent's continue to work there in that area with those people hoping to help change their lives.

...just like the tree that was surrounded by brickwork, graffiti, torn posters, rubbish and glass, still growing tall reaching towards the sky...

I was confronted yet encouraged by my little adventure today. And then to make it all the more better, we have Security tonight. If you could please open your bag and place it in the tray there...

... please step over to the screening...

... and turn...

Thankyou...